No Love, No Glory
by Hannah Lily Potter
Summary: After the unending nightmare of her fourth year, Lana Dumbledore finds herself struggling to keep up with the real world. Her demons are catching up with her and it's becoming harder and harder to keep fighting. 4th in series, Sequel to 'Eternal Game of Tug and War'
1. Summertime Sadness

**I'M BACK BABY AND I'VE OFFICIALLY FINISHED MY GCSE'S! **

**-sorry, I did my last EVER maths exam today and I'm on a freaking high! **

**Anyway, Welcome to another year of Lana and I warn you now, it's darker and more depressing than ever before. There'll be a longer note at the bottom but I'll just let you read now. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 1 - Summertime Sadness

Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore sat in the waiting room of St. Mungos with Charlie Weasley on one side and Bill Weasley on the other. Her waist length, dark waves were pulled over one shoulder as she filled in a clipboard. Her forest green eyes flicked down the sheet in front of her, watching her quill fill in the form about her extensive medical history. Her loopy handwriting took up all the space in a second but the box magically widened to accommodate all of her information. Lana paused, pursing her lips. Did she really have to write everything down? Lana wasn't sure what danger she'd gotten into before she turned 8, but she could only assume it was a horrifically long list- and not one she had the time to write. Not only would she have to know all of her injuries after her parents deaths, but all the troubles and accidents she'd gotten into as a child.

Lana turned the page, taking a moment to rub her tired eyes. The words were becoming blurs as she struggled to fill in the extensive forms. Charlie seemed to sense her discomfort. He took the documents from her and began filling them for her, allowing Lana to lean back into the plush chairs and rest.

Just a week into summer and Lana was back in hospital, ready to have the cast removed from her poor leg. She was fed up of hobbling around with her stupid crutch. As soon as it was gone she'd be able to put that last year behind her. Or so she hoped. Though the Weasley's were being overly nice to Lana, she knew she didn't deserve it. She was just being a complete pain. She couldn't even do anything around the house to help them out. She couldn't carry Ron or Ginny to bed like she used to as most of the time Charlie had to half carry her up the stairs herself.

Then there was poor Abe, who hadn't had to deal with anyone living with him for years, that now had to deal with a half inept niece. It was infuriating.

Lana sighed. She was being melodramatic again and everyone knew it, though the Weasley's did their best to convince themselves everything was alright. Well, everyone but Bill who was acting the same as always around the dark haired teen.

The summer had not been going very well, even so soon into the holidays. The last year had been difficult for Lana and it was taking time to get over it. It wasn't just the physical scars she'd been left with, but the psychological ones as well- so she could somewhat justify her miserable outlook on life.

There were things she hadn't even told Charlie, unable to face the shame. The uncertainty of every action she had made the past year had de-stabilized her. Like, for instance, was she really in love with Charlie or was it all an illusion that Lewis had planted in her mind. Despite the fact that Lewis was far, far away, it was hard to ignore.

Lana wasn't the only one affected by Lewis's mind games, though she had suffered the worst. Tonks had also been thoroughly shaken by the sudden appearance of her old, beloved friend. Lana could only imagine the guilt Tonks felt after recognizing Lewis. The horror that her once best-friend had turned bitter and cold after being ignored for months on end, to such a degree that he had turned to the Dark Arts and attacked all her friends.

Lana guessed whilst they'd been fighting on the platform that Lewis had entered Tonks' mind and told her something that scared her further, but Tonks put on a brave face. The girl was incredible. It was like nothing fazed her. She had acquired a certain maturity since the incident which had sparked Lana's suspicions. Nymphadora wouldn't have changed without good cause.

Charlie appeared done with the clipboard, waving it in front of Lana's face. She turned to him, frowning. "We can't go anywhere yet, wait for the healer." She told him curtly. Charlie snorted, still wafting the board in the air.

"Actually, I think that man over there's taking pictures of you." he replied airily, shrugging. "But if you'd rather I let him…"

Lana's expression turned to one of horror as she strained in her seat to see over the board. Charlie lowered it momentarily and sure enough an elder man sat across from them, staring down the lens of a large, black camera.

"ohmigod." Lana hissed, hiding under Charlie's arm. The second eldest Weasley son smiled, patting the top of Lana's head easily.

"Don't worry, you know how people love to see the _great Lana Dumbledore _in the papers every now and then!"

Lana fixed her boyfriend with a stern glare, momentarily pulling away from his warm arms. "There is _nothing _great about being a Dumbledore, not anymore." This was no laughing matter. Especially now, after the drama of the end of the school year, it would be a terrible time for the press to start snooping into Lana's life once again.

Lana could just imagine the headlines. She could see the shocked looks on people's faces as she walked down the street. Oh Godric, the horror. What if they got an interview with someone from Hogwarts? What if it happened to be someone who wouldn't mind revealing Lana had been on track to kill Lewis? That would have been worse then if she'd actually killed him. At least then she'd be in Azkaban and away from the gossip and talk.

Charlie stared Lana down, equally as darkly. His chocolate eyes dulled down a little, bearing into Lana's soul intensely. "Don't. I know what you're thinking, and don't." His tone was low and heavy. It almost made Lana flinch. She didn't like hearing Charlie being so serious, it depressed her.

It was as if she could be as miserable as she wanted, but there was always hope whilst Charlie wore his usual effortless grin. The knowledge that Charlie would keep on grinning, long after she was gone, it made dying seem less scary. Everything she did, she did for the freckle-faced Weasley.

Lana swallowed, intertwining her fingers through Charlie's and smiling weakly. "I'm sorry." she mumbled, "I'm glad you stopped me, I am." She told him quietly. In actuality, Lana often found herself lying awake and thinking about what would be different if she _had _killed Lewis.

The world would be rid of one more scared, lonely teenage boy.

On Lana's right hand, Bill sighed dejectedly. "You guys used to be fun to hang out with, you know that?"

Lana and Charlie smirked a little, their eyes innocently twinkling at the 17 year old.

"Miss Dumbledore?" The call interrupted what Lana had been about to say, as she turned around quickly upon hearing her name called. Admittedly, she had been expecting it to be a healer or the receptionist but instead of a welcome face, all she received was a bright flash from a camera.

Lana stared, horrified, at the reporter who stood before her wearing a wide, cheesy grin.

"Lovely!" he said loudly, clasping his hands together. "Now can we do another one where you're smiling?" he added with a frown.

Lana gawped, unsure whether to slap him, curse him or run away. Charlie made the decision for her, handing her the board to cover her face. Bill jumped up, blocking the reporters view with his tall, lanky body- though his anger alone was enough to make him withdraw sharply.

Lana could just about hear him snarling out some horrific insults before the security arrived and lead Lana, Charlie and Bill out of the waiting room. Bill had been forced to accompany the couple by his mother, being deemed the 'responsible' one. Bill was legally of age in the wizarding world which meant he had to be 'looking out for his little brother'. Lana knew that Molly's words actually meant '_keep Lana out of trouble,'_ and that Bill would much rather be enjoying his new found magical freedom at, say, Ella Yates's house.

The doors shut onto the corridor behind them, blocking out the security as they forced the reporter from the waiting room in what looked like a very painful manner.

"We're very sorry about that Miss Dumbledore; would you like to follow us?" The first guard asked Lana courteously, looking very nervous. Lana frowned and asked the guards to call her by her first name, her mind reeling as she nodded absently. They headed down several long corridors and then into a lift. Lana had thought about asking to use the less crowded stairs until she'd remembered it would take her a few years to climb them- even with Charlie's help.

Blasted leg, Lana thought to herself as she stumbled into the lift. Charlie caught her quickly, wrapping a protective arm around her waist. A brief flicker of annoyance flashed in her eyes. She hated feeling this weak. This wasn't who she was and she was doing her best to remember it.

The lift journey was fairly quick and before she knew it, they were stepping out onto the correct ward where Healer Payton's office was located. Lana grumbled to herself as the initial shock of the incident wore away. It was no surprise he'd wanted a picture; Lana was the granddaughter of the 'Greatest Wizard who ever lived' Ha! Arthur Weasley had more compassion in his little finger than Dumbledore could ever dream of possessing. Dumbledore was about as great as she was, and she happened to be a damaged, sick and angry teenager.

It was still so risky though. Who knew what dirt the press could dig up or even make up just to get some papers sold? It would make life hell for Lana. More so than it already was.

The security guard rapped on the office door smartly, waiting a moment before swinging the door open. He held the door open for Lana who thanked him as she hobbled through, followed by Charlie and Bill.

"Miss Dumbledore. Pleasure to meet you, I'm Healer Payton."

Healer Payton looked fairly young, no older than 30 at least. He was average height with dark skin and light eyes. He held his hand out and Lana shook it quickly before dropping into a seat as Charlie and Bill introduced themselves.

The healer dropped into his seat, behind the mahogany desk. He held out his hand and a file flew from his filing cabinet. Wide eyed, Lana stared incredulously at the stack of data already safely tucked in her folder.

"Is that all mine?" She asked, somewhat startled that the hospital knew anything about her whatsoever. If the hospital had some sort of trace on her then anyone could have. Lana mentally slapped herself, she was being overly paranoid. If she got any worse she'd turn into Mad Eye Moody's protégée.

"Yes." Payton said, holding back a small chuckle as he flicked through the sizeable folder. "Every witch and Wizard known has a trace on them, much like the under 17 trace. Except this one doesn't end until death. That's how we get our patient records. They're also useful to Aurors for any investigations or enquiries. It's just generally a really useful tool."

"So you know everything that's ever been wrong with me?" Lana frowned, that must be a pretty depressing file to read.

"Every injury you have ever had is in this file, but no. I haven't quite had the time to read all of that." Lana cringed, her face feeling very hot. She was like a magnet to trouble. "Just the latest things." Payton added in nothing more than a murmur.

"So why did I have to fill in my medical history?" Lana muttered under her breath, but went completely ignored other than Charlie lightly tapping his foot against hers.

There was a long pause as Payton continued flicking through the sheets until finally he found the one he was looking for. He picked up the eagle-feather quill from his desk and sprawled a big tick in the bottom left corner of the page.

"Right!" he said, clasping his hands together. "Let's take a look at your leg!"

…

The appointment hadn't taken quite as long as Lana had expected. Healer Payton had simply removed the cast from Lana's leg, tested some weight on it, and placed a few long-lasting pain relief spells on it. Lana was about to leave when the young Healer asked her to sit back down and dread filled her body.

"Nothing to worry about, Miss Dumbledore. I'd just like to talk your through your… health plan, shall we say, for the next few months."

"I don't understand. I thought she was coming off all her medication." Charlie frowned, leaning forwards in intrigue.

Payton sighed, frowning straight back at Charlie. "There's been a change of plan." He turned back to Lana. "The results of your last check up have revealed some trickier disorders…"

"Disorders? That makes me sound… ill." Lana said quietly, sinking back into her chair. She'd assumed she was better. At least physically.

"Then that would be an accurate description." Payton sighed again. He wasn't really filling Lana with the greatest of confidence. "We are not entirely sure what we are dealing with yet… This is untouched territory in magical history."

Lana's green eyes widened and she inhaled deeply. "Charlie, Bill. Would you mind stepping outside whilst I talk to the healer."

Charlie seemed more than reluctant to leave, but he did so with the largest of sighs. Bill followed quickly, sending Lana a comforting smile. It didn't help. The door swung shut behind them and Lana's hands began wringing in her lap.

"I assume this is due to _him_?" Lana asked, shaking at the very thought. So all the crap that Lewis had put her through last year had done permanent damage? G-reat.

"Unfortunately, yes. This level of… magical tampering, has rarely been seen. You've been overdosing on hallucinatory potions, never mind the weakening solution that you've been fed. It's a miracle you're alive. You're still physically drained and magically as well. That's something you'll need to recover before your OWL's." Payton continued on, steadily getting down the list he'd made. Lana listened intently, her face paling considerably as he spoke. "The cuts you suffered have been well dealt with, good job by the way. Anyway, then there's the long term nerve damage done by the cruciatus curse and the curse that landed you here in Mungo's. You could well be experiencing the side effects of those for years to come. Tremors, fevers, sickness. You name it."

Lana gulped. Eternal illness. Sounded fabulous. "Yeah, I can deal with that… what about the nightmares and his voice." Lana suppressed a shudder. There was nothing she hated more than awaking in the middle of the night to hear Lewis's voice, whispering over and over in her ear. To hear Lewis's voice for the rest of her life was a sickening thought.

"In my opinion. I think you'll have good days and bad days. We'll have to wait and see how often you have bad days to determine your course of medication. But for now, I think you should just take your potions as and when you need them."

Lana nodded, unable to find a voice.

"I will, of course, give all this information to Madam Pompfrey and your grandfather."

"No!" That was enough to wake Lana from her state of shock. "Not Dumbledore!" she pleaded, shaking her head.

"I have to I'm afraid, Miss Dumbledore. The Headmaster needs to know if any students are seriously ill."

"Can't you just send it to Professor McGonagall instead? She's deputy AND my Head of House." Lana bargained, unable to keep the hope from her pale face. Anyone but Dumbledore. He had no right to have anything to do with her life.

Payton frowned but nodded all the same. "Very well. I can do that." He accepted. "Last thing before I can let you go." he sighed. "If I could, I'd ask you to return here at least once a week for a check up- both medical and physcological. But that would take you away from school and draw a lot of attention to yourself. So instead, I'm going to make your next appointment for just before Christmas? Is that alright?" He enquired steadily, taking out a large leather bound book and flicking it for several pages.

"Um, yes. Sure." Lana replied absently. That had been a lot of information to take in. With nothing more to discuss, Lana thanked Healer Payton and left the office with a strange feeling of acceptance washing over her. Life was already a struggle, what more could it do to her?

Charlie looked beyond glad to see that she wasn't upset of crying and took her limp hand in his own. Lana smiled weakly at him and looked away, unable to keep up the façade. Poor Charlie. He was doing nothing but being perfectly nice… But Lana couldn't return his love right now.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing much." Lana lied through a false smile. "Just told me to have my potions when and if I need them."

The three set off back to the lobby and made to leave via the main exit. Unfortunately their way had been blocked by a crowd of over eager reporters, all eager to get a picture of Lana. Lana almost growled when the security guard had told her. Why now? Why the sudden interest in her again? She'd barely seen her name in the news for over a year. Yet now, barely weeks after she'd nearly killed someone they were interested in her again. It was too suspicious to ignore.

However, Lana listened to Charlie's pleas to forget about them and their cameras. She had agreed with him externally, but on the inside a hundred more worries began building up- adding to the many heaps of worries she was already mulling over.

Lana, Charlie and Bill followed the guard back to the lift, then onto the 4th floor where the Staff Room was situated. They had been granted special permissions to escape through the Staff Floo Gateway. Lana had thanked the staff, smiling as convincingly as she could bring herself to.

The guard went first, a precaution to make sure the system hadn't been tampered with. Lana, Charlie and Bill awaited his return- standing awkwardly in the sea of Healers who were doing their best not to stare at the 3 teens. Lana folded her arms and ignored them, staring at the floor.

"Are you coming back to ours or Abe's?" Charlie asked with a light smile, draping an arm over Lana's pale shoulders.

Guilt. Once again, Lana felt an unpleasant surge of guilt as she was asked the question she felt she'd heard a million times so far that summer.

Would she go back to the burrow with Charlie? Plaster a fake smile on her face as she ate, spoke and laughed with the Weasley's remembering how easy it used to be. Would she spend the night at theirs as she so often did? Would she wake up screaming, again, scaring poor Ginny to death? Would she sit in her bed all night, waiting for the morning to come just so she could go home and wallow in self pity?

…Or did she go back to Abe's right away, scraping a meal of sorts together with whatever low quality rubbish he had stocked away. Would she go to bed at 5 o'clock but not sleep? Would she get up at 5 o'clock the following morning and hike up to the school to spend the day with McGonagall, ignoring both Abe and the Weasleys.

Lana looked up at Charlie, biting her lip as she thought. She'd spent all day with the Weasley's and especially after the drama of the reporters stalking her; it would be nice to go somewhere she wasn't the centre of attention.

"Home, I think." she said quietly, not meeting his eyes now. "I'm tired." she added softly. Well, it wasn't a lie. She was incredibly tired. Lack of sleep wasn't something she wasn't used to, but all the same it was something she could do without. God knows she looked a mess. Gaunt faced and pallid. Pale lips. Dark bags under dulled eyes. Messy, wild hair that really needed cutting before school started again.

For a moment, disappointment flickered in Charlie's deep brown eyes, replaced with understanding. "Alright. I'll Floo you tomorrow evening I guess?"

Lana nodded vaguely, not knowing if she'd even be in. she tried not to be at the pub in the evenings. It was always full of mysterious, ill looking men who came to bitch about their wives or gamble the night away. Once upon a time Lana would have stayed up late, helping Abe and listening to their stories until Abe deemed them far too mature for Lana and sent her off to bed. Now, she didn't want to deal with the noise and the late nights.

Oh, how pathetic she must have seemed to any other sane person. Thankfully, Lana wasn't sane so she could cope with being pathetic. A sane person wouldn't hate their boyfriend for simply understanding that she was tired. But Lana did. She didn't want Charlie to understand. She wanted him to see through her lies, to call her up on it and make her see sense. As always, he never did.

Lana had no more time to dwell on her misery as the security guard arrived back in the fireplace. "Both systems check out, you're free to go home." he told them with a slick smile.

Lana glanced at Charlie and Bill who gestured for her to step in, "Ladies first," Bill noted amusedly.

Lana nodded and slipped into the fireplace. "Tell your parents 'thanks for having me' and I'll be in contact soon."

In a second, Lana was gone- not wanting to hang around for their replies.

She stepped out into the Hog's Head, already drowning her guilt. Abe didn't seem surprised to see her, smirking from behind the bar. "You're on the news." he said gruffly, placing a half-washed mug on the bar and jerking his head upstairs.

Lana groaned inwardly. How could she be on the news so soon? What was wrong with the world? "Yeah. We had company at the hospital." She sighed in response, throwing her jacket on a bar stool. She stalked to the stairs and ascended, entering the unused living room.

The large portrait of Lana's great aunt, Ariana, hung over the fireplace and smiled down warmly at Lana as she swept through the room to the old wireless. Lana smiled back weakly, flicking the wireless on. It was 5 o'clock and the news would start any second. How lucky, Lana thought sourly.

She sank into the sofa behind her, waiting for a heart-breaking song to end. Her slender fingers drummed on the arm of the couch in a slow, steady beat. Finally the song ended and dramatically more cheerful intro music erupted into the room. Lana switched the volume down quickly, cringing. She heard the floorboards creak as Abe joined her, watching her reaction from the doorway.

A smooth, professional voice began speaking. There were only 2 stories before they got to Lana: the first was that local and beloved grandma had died at the shocking age of 203, the second that a young girl had been taken from her home Thursday night. The second story alarmed Lana and she wanted to hear more about it. Unfortunately there was nothing more to report; the parents had been in their bedroom- the girl in her own. There was no evidence whatsoever. It was clearly the work of a witch or wizard.

Then came Lana. The Profession voice seemed, if possible, even more grave as he began reading.

"_The Granddaughter of Professor Albus Dumbledore was spotted in St. Mungo's Hospital today after an incident several weeks ago that resulted in the breaking of her leg. Witnesses say the Miss Dumbledore appeared to be looking under the weather and her attitude was despondent. When asked, Professor Dumbledore of Hogwarts School told reporters it was none of his business what Lana did or didn't do. He continued to say that Miss Dumbledore would not stand for such an intrusion into her private life- leaving the public and press wondering if the rocky relationship between Mr Henry Dumbledore and his father have caused a rift between the Headmaster and his Granddaughter. Henry Dumbledore, who died 8 years ago, was infamous for his arguments when it came to his father. More to be reported on the subject tonight in the 6 o'clock news."_

Lana stared at the wall across from her in complete and utter horror. There were so many things in that simple speech which made her want to kill herself. Firstly- Despondent!? She happened to think she'd done a wonderful job of looking a lot more pleasant then she actually felt. Secondly- How the HELL did they get in touch with Dumbledore and why would he even give them the satisfaction of speaking to them? Why hadn't he just confessed to having broken Lana's trust completely and end all the gossip? A hundred insults and potential arguments flooded Lana's mind as she swayed sideways and buried her face in the cushion of the couch. "More to be reported?" she groaned into the fabric. "I'm never gonna get any sleep!" True. She'd most likely be waiting hour by hour for the latest revelations about her life until she finally collapsed from exhaustion.

Abe just chuckled.

Eventually, Lana brought her head up from the pillow- only to groan again at the look on Abe's face. "It's not funny! Before you know it they'll be digging up crap on you as well!" The 15 year old said heatedly, clambering up off the couch and brushing her clothes off absently.

Abe quirked a brow, saying nothing.

"I'm going to bed," Lana muttered and swept passed her uncle, out into the hall. She could guess she looked like an over dramatic little brat but ignored this and shut her door with an unintended force.

Despite her several efforts in the 2 years she'd lived with Abe, Lana's room was still so dark and gloomy. All the colours in the world couldn't change that, especially with that great castle looming grandly in the distance. Oh, how impressive it looked; such a majestic presence in the Scottish hills.

Lana dragged her curtains shut quickly, a momentary lapse of self control. Frustration, resentment, regret. How many emotions could one girl feel at a time? The springs in her mattress creaked unhealthily as Lana dropped onto her bed, holding her pillow close to her.

Maybe she could get some sleep before the 6 o'clock news, Godric knows she needed it. Maybe tonight she wouldn't wake up sharply- sweating and crying - with Lewis's voice ringing over and over in her ears.

Lana could only wait and see.

…

Lana sat bolt upright, her eyes snapping open as panic flooded her system. No. She was safe. She was safely in her bedroom, her wand tucked under her pillow and her door tight shut. She was alone. That was the most important. No-one had seen her moment of weakness. No-one had seen her fear and vulnerability as she'd awoken from her nightmare.

Lana kicked the sheets from her slender legs and tumbled over to her window, shocked to find it was light. She'd slept the whole night through? That made a change, maybe she was getting better.

Lana allowed herself to sigh in relief, taking a moment to observe the views from her window. The school did look magnificent bathed in the light of sunrise. So it was still early? Good. Lana decided quickly. She would get ready and travel up to the school, stopping in to pay Hagrid a visit. What would be the point of moping around the flat, waiting for the hourly news?

Thirst overwhelmed Lana as she realized she'd not had a drink since noon the day previous. She shook her head, mentally slapping herself for not taking better care of herself. She pulled her dressing gown on and crept down the hall, into the Kitchen. Apparently Abe was still in bed, so Lana made a pot of tea. Whilst she waited for it to brew she forced herself to drink three glasses of water and then sat with her tea, staring out the window again.

Some time passed before she raised her cup to her lips. Bergh! It was already cold. Lana placed the cup back down and rose, heading back to her room to collect things for her bath.

She just needed a visit up to the castle to distract her, tire her out. Then she'd feel a little bit better again.

…

It was with a peculiar sort of calm that Lana walked up to Hogwarts Castle, her footsteps slow and steady. The road up to the school had been deserted since the last day of term when the carriages had coated it in a layer of mud. It hadn't rained since to wash it away and the mud had dried on the stone, baked by the hot summer sun.

With each step the great castle loomed ever more over Lana's head, but she kept on walking. The sight of the castle gave her a sort of secure feeling. She'd spent so long in it, or imagining it… Even now, despite all the bad things that happened there- it still seemed like it would be there forever. Hogwarts would go on forever whilst the rest of the world crumbled around it.

It took less time than Lana had anticipated to reach the school and before she knew it she was stood by the front door. Feeling too insecure to simply stride inside as she once would have done, especially out of term time, Lana knocked three times on the dark wood before her.

A few moments passed before Lana could make out sharp footsteps and then the door opened, revealing Snape's waxy face. "Oh." he drawled. "It's you again. Do you not annoy me enough during term time?" He asked, his voice monotone as he began walking away.

Lana hurried inside, clicking the door shut behind her. "I could never annoy you enough sir!" she called after him, familiarity comforting her as she gazed up at the beams around her. Three down she could make out the slightly newer beam that had been replaced after the original had 'accidentally' fallen on Lana in her second year. In actuality, a deranged 7th year had charmed it to fall on her in the attempt to kill her. That hadn't worked out as months later the girl herself had ended up dead, but all the same.

Lana tore her eyes away and continued down the entrance hall. She glanced around her as she walked, so used to constantly looking out for Lewis's piercing eyes following her from the shadows. For a moment, Lana wondered if- when he wasn't following her, Lewis was watching Tonks, even Noah and Charlie. Lana pushed the thoughts from her mind, angry at herself for thinking about him. He was gone now. No longer a threat.

Reaching the 7th floor, Lana paused. Did she want to go straight to McGonagall's office or did she want to attempt to find an answer to at least one of her questions before hand.

Luckily it was the most pressing question on Lana's mind and her curiosity won over her fear. She headed down the Seventh Floor corridor and upon reaching a small section, re-traced her steps back and forth three times.

When she turned, a small wooden door had appeared in the stone wall. It was funnily small and simple, how amusing. Lana glanced over her shoulder once more before reaching out for shiny brass handle and slipping into the Room of Requirement. Despite the fact she'd known about magic all her life, the power of the room still amazed her. Lana entered to find the exquisite room empty save for a photo frame on the far wall.

A sudden bout of nerves crept on Lana. What she'd asked the magical room for was for the answer to her question. She'd asked to find out if she really did love Charlie, as silly as it seemed. The truth was she didn't know. The past two weeks had all blurred together, Lana hadn't really taken notice of anything. Between hospital visits and escaping to Hogwarts to avoid Abe and the Weasleys, doing all her homework twice over and moping about in her bedroom; Lana hadn't really thought much about Charlie.

Lana groaned, biting her lip. There she went, lying to herself again. In reality she'd made herself avoid her boyfriend because she was scared of the answer. She'd distracted herself with a million other things to stop herself from finding out anything she didn't want to know. But she had to or else she wouldn't be able to start building her life up again.

With small, nervous steps- Lana approached the wall.

The photo inside the ornate silver frame was so simple and beautiful. It was the answer to her question.

It was herself and Charlie, sat in the common room. It appeared to be an average evening. They were just sat together, in perfect silence as they worked.

And they fit.

They fit together perfectly on the couch. Charlie's hair was shining in the light of the fire, his eyes sparkling with warmth. Lana looked so quietly content beside him.

"You silly girl." Lana murmured to herself, catching the reflection of her eyes in the glass of the picture. "Of course you love him." How could she not? He was Charlie Weasley. He was handsome and brave, loyal and clever. He was hers, and she needed him more than she ever intended to need anyone. Sure, sometimes he could be jealous and hurtful and such a boy! But most of the time he was sweet and adorable. He was kind and compassionate. He stood for what was right and defended her against what was wrong. Most importantly, he loved her too and he was worth dying for.

Happy with the results of her trip, Lana hurried from the Room of Requirements and back down the seventh floor corridor to the office of Professor McGonagall.

Lana tapped on the door quickly and awaited McGonagall's 'come in,' before entering the room. McGonagall sat at her desk, as always, writing a long letter with a very pretty quill. She barely looked up as Lana entered but the chair opposite her own scraped along the floor as it back away from the desk.

Lana couldn't help but grin as she dropped into it, waiting for the professor to finish writing. When she did, McGonagall looked up and her lips pressed into a tight smile. "It's too early for you Lana. A normal teenage wouldn't wake up till 11 yet here you are at 7 o'clock."

Lana shrugged, arching a brow. "I guess I'm not normal."

"No." McGonagall murmured as she sealed her letter. "I would ask how you are but I found out in the papers this morning."

"The Papers!" Lana gasped, horror dawning on her pale face. If she'd been on the wireless of course! Why wouldn't her face be plastered all over the News Paper as well.

McGonagall flicked her wand and a paper flew from a cabinet the other side of the office. Lana caught it swiftly and unfolded it to read as the professor began writing another letter.

Lana had been right. The reporter in St. Mungos had done a wonderful job of enlarging a clip of her in the waiting room to half the size of the front page. Oh Godric, she looked awful. For the first few seconds Lana and Charlie were captured, talking softly across the room. Lana looked almost guilty, Charlie torn. Then the image began to zoom in and Lana guessed that was when the reporter had been approaching them. Then Lana looked up, startled at the intruder. Her face was a mixture of fear and anger, her eyes wide. Charlie and Bill jumped up immediately and protected her. Then the clip restarted.

The article itself was three paragraphs of mindless drivel about Lana, her relationships and her sudden, unexplained injuries. At the bottom of the text there was a demand for answers from Lana- one which she'd be ignoring thoroughly.

"This is ridiculous. Why are people suddenly so interested in my life?" Lana grumbled, moving her hand in a circular motion so the paper flew back to the cabinet.

McGonagall gave her a reproachful look for her use of magic out of term time, but sighed all the same. "Been out much recently?"

Lana frowned. "I don't quite understand." she paused to frown.

"Look at it this way Lana. You are the heir to 2 of the most famous wizarding families of our time. Your Grandfather, however much you hate him, is the most powerful wizard we've known since Merlin. You're other grandfather was the minister of magic. You were always one to look out for."

Lana cringed.

"Your parents always kept you so protected that barely anyone saw you as a young child. They only took you out when necessary. But then your parents died and you disappeared off the face of the earth."

McGonagall paused again, leaning back into her chair. "Half the world assumed you had died. Then you arrive for Hogwarts. You practically ignored all the press in your first year- you didn't know anyone had any interest in you. Then in the summer you went missing _again _only this time Dumbledore was involved and he was scared."

Lana scoffed.

"You turned up. Renounced any relationship you had with your grandfather and then disappeared into Hogsmeade for the summer. You spent all of second year in school, obviously, and then all your summer in Hogsmeade again- close to school. In September you returned to the school, protected for another year until summer. Back in Hogsmeade. Then came last year, protected once again by Hogwarts."

"That means that the first time the wizarding public has seen you properly in 3 years has been looking beyond miserable with a broken leg in St. Mungo's hospital. No wonder people are curious."

"… … Are you saying I don't get out enough?" Lana questioned nervously.

"No, I'm saying you're a mystery. People want to know about you, you're a wizarding celebrity. There's nothing you can do but ignore it until people get bored."

Lana half groaned, slumping in her chair. If she'd paid any attention to Elena's many gossip magazines over the years she could guess that this wouldn't be going away any time soon.

"Isn't there any protection on me? I'm not of age? There should be something to shield children from the press." It was a long shot. People in the wizarding world weren't half as careful as muggles when it came to things like this.

"That's what I'm trying to find out now." McGonagall told her, frowning. "I've written to the Daily Prophet, the Press Secretary at the ministry and now I'm going to try the Minister of Magic."

The Minister of Magic. Ha! Like old Fudge could do anything for her, he had less power than a janitor at the Three Broomsticks. Lana couldn't help but feel sceptical, Fudge was wrapped around her Grandfathers manipulative little finger.

Lana waved her pale hand once more and some parchment and a self-ink quill flew towards her. She snatched them out of the air and began writing immediately. Her first letter was to Charlie.

_Charlie,_

_I'm guessing you'll have seen the papers already. If you're like me, you will have had enough of it already. I'm with Professor McGonagall; she's trying to sort it out. Don't worry about it, things will soon die down. _

_I'm feeling a lot better, before you ask, and I'm hopefully going to drop by tonight if that's alright? Tell your family 'hi!' and remember I love you._

_See you soon, Lana x_

Lana folded up the first letter and then began her second one.

_Mr Nott,_

_Sorry for not writing back sooner. I hope you and your mother are well. Remember the offers still open to visit us Gryffindors this summer. I'm doing well, I got my pot off. Not much else to report._

_Lana x_

No sooner had Lana finished the letter than a low hoot announced the arrival of Icarus, Lana's loyal owl. He waited on the windowsill patiently as Lana folded the second parchment up. She swept over to him and tied the parchment to his leg, pausing to stroke the old owl softly. "That's for Charlie, and that one's for Nott, okay?"

The owl replied in a hoot and took off, soaring with the winds far away. Lana watched him disappear on the horizon before turning around and sitting back opposite McGonagall.

"You're extraordinary Lana, have you ever been told that?" McGonagall said in a tone half made up of amazement and the other half, concern.

Lana smiled wryly, her eyes flicking back to the window. "On occasion."

…

"Anyone Home?" Lana called, stepping out of the fireplace in the burrow to find the living room empty. That made a change, Lana thought as she swept into the kitchen and spotted Mrs Weasley.

"Oh, hello darling!" Molly Weasley smiled warmly as ever, greeting Lana in a one armed hug. Her other arm was wrapped around a mixing bowl. "Charlie's upstairs packing." she told Lana who quickly frowned.

"Packing?" She squeaked. "For what?"

"He's going to Noah's for the week." Molly filled in quickly, still smiling despite the sudden glumness on Lana's face. That wasn't fair. In her mind, she felt like she'd only just gotten Charlie back and now he was going away. "Don't worry dear, it's only a week." Molly added, somewhat amused.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, I'll just go up and see him."

Lana turned and hurried into the hall, already hearing Fred and George playing upstairs. She hadn't made it to the landing before they appeared from nowhere, screaming excitedly. "Lana!" They ambushed her, quite successfully.

"Leave her alone guys, remember what we talked about?" Charlie's sharp voice sounded from the stairs, his eyes dark warnings to his younger brothers.

Lana frowned. What had he said? '_Don't play with Lana, she's too weak.' _Lana's smiled faded as she ruffled Fred's hair playfully. "Is Charlie being mean?" she whispered teasingly, winking at the twins as they nodded repeatedly. "Shall I tell him off?" She asked. Their nodding continued as mischievous grins formed on their freckled faces.

"Alright then." Lana stood and stomped up the stairs, passed Charlie and into his bedroom- her face set in stone.

Charlie followed, shutting the door behind him.

"Noah's?" She asked quietly, "When did you arrange that?"

"Last night. We had no plans; I assumed it would be alright." Charlie shrugged, dropping onto his bed.

"Of course it is, he's our best friend." Lana said in surprise. Did he feel like he should have checked with her first? What was she, his mother?

"And besides, I guessed you wanted a break. I think I've been smothering you lately." Charlie looked away from Lana, not before she caught the flash of hurt in his deep brown eyes.

"No. No you haven't Charlie, don't be silly." Lana said quickly, stepping forwards and crouching in front of Charlie, taking his hands in hers. "It was my fault but things are better now, I promise. I'm sorry for being so distant lately but I swear I'm back now."

How like Lana to continue moping, not caring who she was hurting as she sank deeper and deeper in her own self pity. Well no more, she thought tenaciously.

"Are you sure?" Charlie asked, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Because if I were you I'd want to stay away from all boys for at least 10 years."

"What, because of Lewis?" Lana snorted, her lips twisting into a smirk. "Never." she added.

"Never ever ever?"

"Never ever ever."

…

"_How could you not have spotted him in 4 years?" Charlie shouted his face red with anger._

"_I don't know! I feel bad enough as it is Charlie, Shut the HELL up!" Tonks half screamed, half sobbed- her pink hair a dull, mousy brown._

"_Would you two give up! It's over now, nothing you can say can change what's happened!" Noah inputted wisely. _

_Lana watched from her bed, unmoving. She felt empty. There was nothing she could do or say that could change anything at all, just as Noah had said. This was all her fault. Not Tonks'. Just hers._

"_I have a theory." The headmaster cut in swiftly, "Lewis expressed his anger at seeing you on the Hogwarts Express, that first day in First year. I believe his anger lead to some accidental magic."_

"_Which was?" Noah asked calmly, ignoring Tonks and Charlie as they glared at each other and then the headmaster. _

"_A notice-me-not charm. If, for just one moment whilst that angry, he thought he didn't want to be seen… then his anger would have made that happen. Leading to a very, very strong notice-me-not charm. I believe it only broke when Lewis presented himself in front of the school."_

"_You see Charlie, Dora couldn't have done anything!" _

"_Lana? Lana please talk to us? You're safe now, remember? Lewis is gone. You're safe."_

_Lana continued staring blankly at the wall in front of her. How she wished Lewis was truly gone. Only his eyes still followed her everywhere. His voice still resonated in her ears. The scars he'd left her with, now exposed, reminded her of him every time she moved. He was there with her the second her eyes closed._

Lana sat up, tangled in her blankets yet again. Charlie had only been gone 2 days and she already missed him. It wasn't healthy to rely on one person so much, she told herself repeatedly. Yet she continued to miss him all the same.

She pushed the blankets off her legs and stood, her room too hot in the summer sun. She opened a window and stood in the breeze for a few minutes before getting dressed and hurrying into the kitchen to make breakfast. She was going out to take her mind off Charlie.

* * *

**So, this was an average introduction to what life's been like since last time! In Lana's case, very bad. **

**I've already written about 12 chapters for this, but I've just decided I want to change a major part of the plot so you'll have to be patient. It's also kind of hard to get back in the Harry Potter mood- my head's full of History and ICT! **

**Expect to see a lot more of Nott this year, and a certain professor. You can guess who.**

**As always, if you have any suggestions or thoughts on the chapter you can message/review and I'll answer:) **

**_Au revoir!_**


	2. Of Reporters and Rumours

Chapter 2 - Of Reporters and Rumours

It didn't take that long for Lana to get ready, and soon she was downstairs sat at the bar whilst Abe worked- trying to decide how to spend her day.

"You could go up to the school?" Abe suggested, his tone amused. Lana arched a perfect brow, her lips tight.

"Not today, it's too nice a day for school." She sighed, tapping her nails on the bar as she thought. "I might just go the burrow; spend the day with the boys." She finally decided, jumping off the stool she'd been sat on.

"Alright, just don't come back moping cos' you miss Charlie." Abe said gruffly, still smirking mischievously. Lana glared at him, folding her arms.

"Yeah, cos' I complain to you _all _the time." she rolled her eyes and flounced dramatically though the doors, up to the flat above. She took a few moments to tie her hair into a bun, though most of her hair fell straight out again, and chose a thin lilac cloak to wear over her summer dress. There was a light breeze today, but it was still hot.

Lana slipped on some sandals and grabbed her bag before flying back down the stairs to the fireplace. "Are you alright finding yourself lunch?" She called to Abe as he disappeared into the basement.

"I did manage well enough before you came along you know!" Abe shouted up, half irritated and half bemused.

Lana grinned, finishing her water from earlier. "I'm off! I'll see you tonight!" she added and skipped across the empty bar, to the fireplace. She stepped into the empty space and pinched a handful of Floo Powder from the pot on the floor before she dropped it and departed.

The living room of the burrow was empty once again, but Lana could hear the boys out in the garden playing. She followed the noise into the Kitchen and smiled out through the window, leaning on the counter easily. She could see Ronald chasing Ginny across the lawn, a few gnomes tottering after them angrily. Fred and George were on brooms, racing around the orchard. Percy was sat in the shade beside the pond, reading as always and Molly was fussing over each of them in turn, persuading them to let her place a sun blocking charm on them.

Lana couldn't help but grin. Seeing the Weasley's together was like a cheering charm. They were always so happy, it was like a drug.

"Back again?"

Lana turned around slowly, arching a brow. "Yes, where are you going? Ella's again?" She countered smoothly, her face dead set.

"Touché." Bill relented immediately, tying his long hair into a ponytail at the nape of his neck.

Lana grinned at the fang earring, poking out through a few loose strands of hair. The panic look Bill had adopted when he'd had it done had been positively priceless.

"But actually, I'm going to Diagon Alley with Ginny." He added casually, his tone almost bored. "You wanna come, or do you want to spend the next four hours pretending not to notice Fred and George's pranks."

Lana pursed her lips, thinking. As much as she loved the twins, their pranking skills were not quite up to scratch yet and it was hard work looking after two troublesome 8 year olds.

"Alright. Why Ginny?" she said finally, glancing back through the window where Ron and Ginny had dropped onto the grass to drink some pumpkin juice.

"Because she claims I'm her 'favourite' we have to spend some brother/sister time together." Though Bill's face claimed irritation, Lana didn't miss the edge of pride in his voice. Lana guessed Bill's self esteem couldn't have been any higher then it was right then.

"So you're taking her…-"

"-to Gringott's Bank, then to lunch and then I have to buy her a present."

"Well, if you're buying her presents of course you're the favourite!" Lana grinned, twirling past Bill out into the hall. The door was wedged open, giving free access to the extensive garden. A few gnomes peeked around the door frame suspiciously, surveying the unknown house. Bill swept past Lana and booted them back down to the pond, shaking his head amusedly.

"They never learn." He sighed, stalking out the house down to his mother and sister.

Lana waited in the hall, leaning on the doorframe as she watched the Weasley's. A trip to Diagon Alley would be perfect; she could forget all about Charlie and buy herself something pretty to cheer her up.

Oh god, now she was becoming materialistic as well as crazy. She might as well be a Malfoy.

Lana's mind wandered in the heat of the sun. She wondered what Charlie and Noah were doing right now. Were they enjoying the sun with Cedric, Noah's little brother as she would be with Ginny. He'd written to her once or twice, but Lana appreciated that he would be busy. After all, Noah lived quite close to the sea.

Lana suddenly began daydreaming that Charlie was secretly swimming to Australia, just to escape his crazy girlfriend. She shook her head forcefully, taking a deep breath. She was being absolutely crazy now, her every thought was more ludicrous and irrational than the last.

"Lana!"

A small, flame haired figure bounded up the garden path and jumped onto Lana. The Gryffindor wrapped her arms around Ginny, balancing her on her hip awkwardly. Despite the fact weeks had passed since Lana's recovery had began, she still felt weaker than she could ever remember being. She found some strength as she carried Ginny, though she didn't know where from.

"Hello Gin-Bug!" Lana grinned, flicking hair from the youngest Weasley's chocolate eyes. "How're you?"

Ginny, only 5 years old, smiled brightly. "I'm brilliant!" she exclaimed loudly, hands high in the air.

"You're loud." Bill corrected, pulling her from Lana's unsteady hold. The teen's eyes met for a moment, Lana silently thanking him. "And you're spoilt." he added with a smile at his sister. Ginny beamed, skipping past both Lana and Bill into the living room.

"Come on, let's get this over with." Bill sighed, hurrying on after Ginny. Lana smirked as she followed; Bill was so easy to read. It was obvious how much he adored Ginny, and playing her big brother.

When they entered the living room, Ginny was already stood waiting in the fireplace, jumping up and down in her excitement.

Lana's eyes flicked over to Bill who shook his head. "Perhaps I should go first Gin?" She suggested, smiling weakly. "Then you can follow?"

Ginny reluctantly crept out of the fireplace so that Lana could step in, grabbing a handful of Floor Powder. She took a deep breath, preparing for the rapid journey and then called out, "Diagon Alley," dropping the powder as she spoke.

A hundred different scenes flashed before her eyes as she spiralled through all the wizarding households between Devon and London. Lana's eyes clenched shut, the flashing images creating an abundance of dizziness in her head.

Eventually, she reached Diagon Alley and stepped out with a smile on her face. The Leaky Cauldron was the same as ever and Tom, the Barman greeted Lana with a half wave. She smiled in reply as she waited for Ginny to come flying through the Floo system. As predicted, Ginny fell from the fire with all the grace of Tonks, right into Lana's prepared arms.

Moments later, another Red head strode through into the pub- though not the red head Lana had been expecting. Instead of Bill, Percy hopped out of the fire and coughed out a reluctant "Hello."

The fire lit again and Bill appeared, grimacing. "Isn't it wonderful, Percy's coming because he wants to go the bookshop."

Lana grinned, her eyes flashing with amusement. "Of course it is, reading is very important for a young man." She said, her voice completely seriousness. Despite this, Percy still glared at her and crossed his arms- waiting for their trip to be over. Well, Lana thought crossly, he didn't _have _to come.

"Oh lighten up Perce! If you wish to be treated as an adult you must act like one, and adults are pleasant to everyone. Even people they don't like." Lana couldn't help scolding him. She couldn't understand why Percy seemed to detest her so much.

"Yeah!" Ginny grinned in agreement; her tongue stuck out and pointed at her brother.

"I didn't say anything." Percy said coolly, looking away. Lana sighed, taking Ginny's hand.

"Come on, to Gringott's!"

…

Lana stood still, surveying the goblins shrewdly. She didn't trust them one bit. They all seemed to be watching her from their tall podiums, sneering down at her in obvious detest. Her face composed and neutral, Lana turned to Ginny who didn't seem to mind the cunning creatures at all. The youngest Weasley swung her hand in Lana's loosely, gazing around the humongous bank.

Light flooded the long hall, setting the sharp white marble alight in the sun. The grand room was so silent that Lana could almost hear a cart in the vaults below, chugging through the earth at preposterous speeds.

Ginny beamed around her, her freckled face fixed in a constant state of awe. A few steps in front of the girls stood Bill and Percy, speaking with one of the Goblins. Lana didn't have to strain her ears to hear Bill's growing impatience. Percy, standing beside his brother, looked away as if embarrassed by the argument.

Lana rolled her eyes, stepping forwards and tapping Percy's shoulder. Percy turned quickly, his ears pink. Lana jerked her head in a backwards motion and let go of Ginny's hand so that Percy could take her place.

"What's wrong?" She asked Bill, glaring up at the Goblin he was speaking to.

"They don't believe I'm of age. Apparently we need an 'adult.'" Bill spoke coolly, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe what was happening. Lana held back her amusement at the realization that Bill did in fact look quite young in the light. In the dark it was a totally different matter, but in the light… he could have passed for 15.

"That's preposterous. I attended my vault unaccompanied when I was 12, why should we need adults now?" Lana asked sharply. Goblins were very small minded creatures who tended to assume they were smarter, more powerful and wittier than anyone else. The trick when handling one was to stay calm and composed or they'd instantly dismiss you as useless to them.

The goblin in question's lip curled as he stared down at them through heavy, dark eyes. His long fingers curled over the edge of his desk, whitening at his knuckles where his hold was too tight.

"New security measures, madam." The goblin told them slowly, nostrils flared. He looked momentarily like Snape, which again gave Lana the urge to giggle endlessly. She pushed her amusement to the side and pursed her lips.

"Which have come into place because…?"

"Because-"

"Master Kantor! I think that's enough from you, why don't you let me speak to Miss Dumbledore and her friends."

Lana turned, frowning at the somewhat familiar voice. It was definitely a goblin, obvious in his slight croakiness and nasally tone. Meeting his eyes, Lana realized who on earth their saviour was. "Director Rhoknid!" She beamed, holding out her hand to greet him happily. Rhoknid was, as far as Lana knew, a friend of Abe's and had made the contract that allowed him to be Lana's official guardian instead of Dumbledore. Though Lana hadn't seen or spoken of the goblin since the summer of her first year in Hogwarts, she still remembered him well and smiled at the memory of the day she'd partly escaped Dumbledore.

"Miss Dumbledore, It has been too long and you have grown too much!" Rhoknid exclaimed dramatically, grinning from ear to ear to reveal his gleaming teeth. Lana smiled; Rhoknid was such an eccentric Goblin.

"I agree completely Director!" Lana smiled, ignoring her negative and seemingly endless inner monologue.

"And is this Mr Charles Weasley? Your previous accompanier?" Rhoknid asked, his eyes narrowed carefully.

"No, no! Charlie is away at the moment- but this is his older brother Bill, his younger brother Percy and his little sister Ginny." It was almost awkward to introduce the Weasley's family as just 'Charlie's.'

Bill too shook hands with Rhoknid, exchanging a quiet greeting that Lana couldn't be bothered to listen to. She slipped her hand back into Ginny's quietly, her eyes flicking back around the room. '_New security measures' _The Goblin hadn't lied. There were in fact, goblins now stationed at every entrance and exit of the Bank. Lana frowned inwardly, analyzing all the possible reasons why. Were they expecting a break in? That just didn't make sense.

Lana mentally kicked herself. No. She wasn't going to do that anymore. She wouldn't ask questions that she didn't want to know the answers to.

Just let the adults deal with it this time, she told herself firmly.

"Now, I assume you are wanting access to your vaults?" Rhoknid questioned, another grin playing on his lips.

Lana simply nodding, forcing a polite smile onto her paling face.

"Well, that should be fine. Come, come- I'll find you an assistor." Rhoknid waved his hand forwards absently, his head turning rapidly as he searched for a goblin.

Lana followed the goblin, Ginny by her side. He soon found them another Goblin and soon they were sitting in the carts, ready to descend into the depths of the Bank.

"Hold tightly, arms in at all times and absolutely no crying." The new goblin added coolly, eying Ginny distastefully.

Lana grinned as Ginny folded her arms tightly across her chest and stuck her tongue out at the goblin. No words could describe how proud she was of the 5 year old, Percy didn't seem to agree. Lana glared at him soundly before turning and winking at Ginny. This was going to be a fun, fun day.

…

After a short and unnecessarily fast ride in the cart, the four arrived back at ground level with freshly filled money pouches. Bill was the first to hop out of the cart, his long hair looking windswept and wild. Lana could only imagine how awful she looked, the bobble she'd attempted to tie her hair up in had fallen out on 12 levels down, fluttering many more layers down to the depths of the Bank, so now her long hair fell down her back just like Ginny's. After Bill had pulled his siblings out, Lana jumped out after them- pleased to ditch the somewhat intimidating Goblin who had escorted them down.

All the same she turned back, a gracious smile on her pale face and thanked the Goblin kindly. If she had learnt anything from spending four years with the aristocratics of the wizarding world, it was that manners meant everything. Lana smirked to herself as they walked down the length of the Bank to reach the alley once more, Ginny swinging on her arm. No matter how rude she'd been to certain people over the last few years, no matter how vicious she came across or how insane she might appear- she hoped that she still remembered to say please and thank you when needed.

As the approached the doors, Lana could see that the summer sun had risen higher in the sky and golden rays of light beamed through the windows surrounding the doors. The sound of busy shoppers and traders filled the air, the several café's of the Alley emitting sweet aromas that could turn any shoppers head.

Oh the joys of the wizarding world, Lana thought to herself contentedly as she held the door open for Ginny.

In the split second as she turned around to leave the bank, all the cheerfulness that the morning had given her with Ginny, Bill and Percy drained away. Everything that she'd been thinking to distract herself from her worries faded away and all that was left was the scene in front of her.

_Reporters._

Not just one like in the hospital. How many were there? Lana couldn't count them; her eyes couldn't adjust to the flashes of cameras as she stared in complete horror.

This was completely and utterly barbaric! She was a 15 year old girl! She hadn't (really) done anything to warrant this unwanted attention other than be born into a famous family!

"Lana!" Suddenly Bill was by her side, hissing in her ear to move. She reacted unthinkingly, sweeping Ginny into her arms. Bill led the way, pushing past reporters and Shoppers alike with Percy at his side. Lana followed instantly, keeping her eyes to the floor as they made the suddenly lengthy journey to the Leaky Cauldron.

Though the trip seemed longer than ever before, eventually Lana ducked into the pub and dropped Ginny onto an empty table, shoving a hand through her hair. A thousand emotions were battling inside her own head. This time anger took the lead, sending shivers down her arms. "This isn't fair! It's not fair!" She ground out, shaking her head in short motions, striding away from the entrance.

Words weren't enough, Lana had the sudden urge to leave the safety of the pub and pummel a reporter into the cobbled street. She didn't of course, but how she fantasized in her rage.

After a few moments, Lana took a deep breath and regained the famous Dumbledore composure. Head up, she turned back to her beloved Weasley's and plastered a smile on her face, for the sake of Ginny of course. The youngest Weasley didn't seem fooled. Those familiar brown eyes twinkled up at her.

"I should go, let you guys shop without being disturbed." She said in a voice as strong as she could muster. All three Weasley's looked rather sceptical, even Ginny.

"Don't be ridiculous Lana, we won't get any peace this morning. They'll be hanging around like vultures waiting for you to make another appearance. We'll come back this evening when they've given up." Bill decided, all the maturity of an adult once again. Lana quickly reminded herself that Bill was an adult now, not the lazy 13 year she'd met four years ago.

"If you're sure." Lana shrugged, her smile fading. What was there to smile about? Godric knew what terror she'd awake to the next morning in the papers. She'd be waking to a fresh hell.

"Let's go back, get some lunch?"

Ginny and Percy seemed rather delighted with that proposition so one by one, they stepped into the fire and returned to the Burrow.

Lana was the last to leave. As she stepped into the fireplace she took one last glance at Tom, The Barman, who smiled at her sadly.

She couldn't even bring herself to return the smile.

…

Though Mrs Weasley was, as ever, wonderfully understanding and remarkably compassionate, she could barely cheer Lana up. It wasn't her fault; Lana had curled up under a tree in the garden before the woman could do anything to help. Though she appeared to be watching Fred and George play, she wasn't really seeing anything.

Now her anger had ebbed away, the fear had taken its place. She could do nothing but wait for the truth to out. For the whole wizarding world to find out that the granddaughter of the great and honourable Albus Dumbledore would kill.

Yet, Dumbledore would never allow his name to be tarnished so… would he? Lana could appeal to him; promise to behave, to be the granddaughter he wanted instead of who she truly was. Yes, Lana could do all that to save her own reputation.

But she wouldn't. She couldn't. Not only had she already cut off all ties with Dumbledore as her grandfather, but she would never pretend to be someone she wasn't.

That was one of the main reasons she disliked Dumbledore so much. All the fake pretence. All his charades and charm.

What irked Lana most was that she was exactly the same. Only her friends saw her as she truly was, and she was even somewhat guarded with them.

When evening fell, Lana bid her goodbye's and returned to Hogsmeade. She went straight to her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed, burying her face in her pillow. The room was completely silent except for the quick, controlled breaths from Lana. Yet as she kicked her sandals off, she could still hear that same voice in her head. The voice that shook her to the bone.

'_I see you for what you truly are.'_

Lana reached onto her bedside table and flicked the wireless on, blocking out her own thoughts. It did little to help. The songs were all love songs that made her miss Charlie. The News made her want to scream.

With a wave of her hand, the room fell silent once again and Lana curled up into a ball atop her sheets.

For an hour that morning she'd felt like her old self again, happy and relatively carefree for the time being. Now she returned to her misery, struggling to grasp her old life. Reaching out for the reigns to happiness. But they were always one step ahead of her.

…

_Lana sat in the great hall, in the middle of the Gryffindor Table. Most curiously, she was sat alone. Not Charlie nor Noah, Tonks, Elena or Lucy were next to her. In fact, there was a large space surrounding her where nobody sat. Lana frowned. Maybe they assumed the other Gryffindors would be down shortly to sit with her. _

_The great hall fell silent as Lana looked up, every single student staring at her strangely. _

_Then the whispers began. Lana could only distinguish between the ones closest to her, not that she wanted to. _

'_I hear she kills for sport!'_

'_Remember that Amie Waller? Yeah, I __wonder__ who killed her?!"_

'_She killed Diggory's Mum!'_

'_She killed her parents in a tantrum.'_

_Lana could do little but shake her head desperately, pleading them to stop. It wasn't true. None of it was true! She wasn't a murderer! She would never kill for sport! She would never … she never did … she couldn't… _

Lana sat bolt upright, blood rushing to her head. Quite honestly, she was getting sick of waking up like this. Nightmares made her more tired than lack of sleep would have done and made her worry more too.

There was a chill to her bedroom that morning, but she didn't sink back into her covers. She rubbed her arms absently, wondering how she could spend her day. Definitely not the burrow. Not after yesterday. Hogwarts? Her nightmare had made that prospect seem entirely unappealing. She couldn't visit Tonks as the metamorphmagus was on Holiday in the Canaries and Charlie wouldn't be back for days yet.

"Lana?" Abe's voice rang sharply through the bedroom door. "You might wanna come and see this…"

Lana swallowed nervously, shuffling out of her bed. Her uncle's voice was unusually clear and focused.

She dressed quickly and hurried through into the Kitchen where Abe sat at the table, his arms folded over his chest. On the table, he had spread out several crisp news Papers from that morning.

Lana's eyes bulged as they took in the sight of her face, plastered on paper.

Various Titles caught her eye 'Lana Dumbledore: More like her grandfather than her father?' and 'The Last Dumbledore.'

It was horrific. Absurd. Outrageous.

Why her? A million and one questions fleeted in Lana's mind before others took their place. A part of her wanted to burn them all in one flick on her wrist. She wanted to tear each article into a tiny thousand pieces and force the reporters who wrote the blasted articles to eat them. She wanted to take all the ink used to print each paper and force the editors to drown them.

How many scenarios she imagined before she was brought back to reality, Lana didn't know though each was as unlikely and mildly scary as the previous.

"This one." Abe muttered, nudging a paper towards Lana. It was relatively small compared to the other big named papers, yet the front page looked promising. Lana's face was on it, but very small in the bottom left corner. It wasn't even a picture of her in Diagon Alley- it must have been from her 1st year judging by the length of her hair.

Torn between anxiety and curiosity, Lana flicked to the correct page and began reading- slowly to take in everything she saw.

There wasn't much of any interest to Lana. They had the basic facts right and it was after all, her life, she knew it pretty well. Yet what they did have, which apparently all the other papers hadn't been able to acquire, was an interview with a Hogwarts Student.

_When asked about Miss Dumbledore, a Hogwarts student told us: 'Lana's lovely. Everyone looks up to her. Last year, completely out of the blue she walked to the front of school and told everyone that she loved them. Completely random. She hasn't even met half of us.' When asked about Miss Dumbledore's relationship with the Weasley's, she replied: 'Lana and Charlie are practically inseparable and you'd be a fool to try and meddle in their lives.' _

It was a mixture of amazement and confusement that adorned Lana's face before it fell, crestfallen. There was no name. She couldn't thank this mystery student that had publicly complimented her. On the whole, the student hadn't really done much. It was a tiny paper that only a few wizards would read, but it still meant the world to Lana.

"Where did you find this?" Lana asked quietly, her eyes flicking up to Abe. It was still early, he couldn't have left the house yet or she'd have known.

"I didn't." Abe replied, his voice short and gruff. "It was mailed here."

…

"Here?" Lana repeated, her face draining of what little colour it had possessed. If they had posted it to the pub… that would mean that the editor or whoever the hell it was to send them the copy knew where she lived… which meant they knew she didn't live with Dumbledore.

Abe nodded soberly, linking his fingers together in thought. Lana stood, waiting for her uncle to give any more explanation. When nothing else was said, she turned on her heel and hurried back into her bedroom- shutting the door behind her.

Her mood had switched from happy to positively distraught in a matter of seconds. There was a certain hopeless feeling growing in the pit of her stomach that had been there since Christmas, only now there was actually nothing she could do to prevent it.

…

"How are you Lana?"

Lana blinked, the spoon she was stirring her tea with dropping onto her saucer. How was she?

"Fine, Professor. My legs healed and my scars are fading. I'll be practically perfect for September." There. It wasn't a lie, but then again it wasn't the truth. A happy medium in Lana's opinion.

"I can see that. I meant how are you feeling inside?" McGonagall amended her previous words, her face dead set. She obviously didn't care for Lana's adjusted truth. Lana rolled her eyes, she didn't either.

"Like my life is made up of rainbows and daisies."

"Lana, stop being so miserable."

"Miserable?" Lana gawped, eyes flashing dangerously. "My Boyfriend and best friends are 500 miles away, I let a crazed Slytherin torture said best friends in front of the whole school, I have a Grandfather that has a god complex and half the wizarding press stalking me trying to find out what I ate for Breakfast this morning!"

Rant over, Lana put her cup down and folded her arms. "So excuse me if I'm less than talkative this morning."

"You are wrong on 2 accounts there Miss Dumbledore." McGonagall told the Gryffindor wisely, leaning onto her desk and peering at Lana through thin glasses. "Firstly, you did not let a 'crazed slytherin' into Hogwarts. Mr Arrington was a British wizard, he was granted a place no matter what. And secondly, Mr Weasley is not 500 miles away."

Lana's forehead creased into a frown as she sighed dejectedly. "Yes he is. He won't be back till Tuesday."

"I won't?"

Lana turned, mouth falling open. "Charlie?!"

Sure enough, stood in the doorway was Charlie. In his absence he seemed to have grown a thousand feet taller. His hair had outgrown the short cut his mother had forced upon him a few weeks back and the summer had blessed him with a face full of freckles.

Quick as a flash, Lana leapt from her chair and flung her arms around the second eldest Weasley son. "You are never to leave my side again! Do you understand me?"

"Hey! If that's the greeting I get every time I return then I'll have to disobey this new rule!" Charlie grinned, wrapping Lana in another comforting embrace. Lana couldn't help but beam into his shoulder, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"Mr Weasley, I suggest you take Miss Dumbledore back to her house. Let Aberforth watch you instead of me."

Lana pulled away, smiling guiltily on a pink face. "Thanks Professor. I'll see you soon!"

McGonagall nodded, smirking at the teens as they backed out of the office. The door swung shut and Lana turned back to Charlie, unable to stop smiling. "Why are you back so early?" She asked immediately, locking her hand in his as they began walking through the corridors.

"I had to see if the rumours were true!" Charlie exclaimed, shaking his shaggy red haired head. "I couldn't stay away whilst half the wizarding world thought you were dating Bill!"

Lana erupted into a fit of giggles, swinging her hand high in the air in a childish manner. "Is that what they think?" She asked between laughs, "Oh that's ridiculous!"

Charlie shook his head, a smirk gracing his freckled face. "Really? Then why were you in Hogsmeade with him?" he enquired calmly, an eyebrow raised.

Despite her giggling, Lana pursed her lips and placed her free hand on her hip. "Mr Weasley, I went to Hogsmeade with Bill, Percy and Ginny. I can safely say I'm not dating any of your siblings."

Charlie paused, frowning. "But you are dating me?"

"Of course I am you idiot!" Lana howled, twirling through the corridor as the approached the entrance hall, only stopping when dizziness overcame her. "Now, tell me how you are before I change my mind!"

…

Upon arrival back at the Hogs Head, Lana and Charlie took a table at the back of the empty pub and talked the morning away, ignoring Abe's sarcastic intrusions. Lana couldn't stop smiling now that Charlie was back, despite the fears and anxiety that stayed stuck in her mind. She pushed all negativity away as she listened to Charlie recount the events that had happened at Noah's, how he and Tonks was and how Cedric, Noah's brother, was coping.

Lana thought, smiling absently as she sipped her butterbeer, Cedric was joining Hogwarts the year after this one. It was odd, but much like Ginny, she still saw him as the little child she'd first seen him as.

"I can't believe Percy's going to be at Hogwarts this year." Lana murmured, placing her empty bottle down on the table with a clunk.

"I know. It's gonna be hell." Charlie sighed, shaking his head sadly. Lana grinned, kicking Charlie softly under the table.

"Don't be mean." she reprimanded amusedly. In all honestly, Charlie was right. Percy was a complete nuisance, especially around Lana. Every little thing she did seemed to get reported back to the rest of the Weasley's around the dinner table. He was unstoppable! Now that he was joining them at Hogwarts he'd be the person on the inside for Mrs Weasley. Every rumour, every detention and every swear word that had anything to do with Lana or Charlie would be reported back in weekly letters.

Lana didn't need that: especially not with the upcoming OWL's and Quidditch, stress and nosy little first years all causing her to go into meltdown every so often.

Lana paused, suddenly panicking. How WAS she going to cope with Percy at school? What about Fred and George after him? Would she have to stop and think about everything she said and did before she said or did them? Would she have to keep her cool like everyone else and not say what she was thinking, just to protect the Weasley Children. Yes.

"Percy'll loosen up soon enough, don't worry. Besides, we have authority on our side."

"We do?" Lana asked, her mouth dropping open. "Who?"

"Well besides all the teachers who adore you, we have Bill."

"Bill?" Lana frowned. Sure, Bill was very collected but authoritive?

"Yep! He's head boy. Got his letter this morning."

Lana's frown transformed into a grin, from ear to ear. "Charlie that's brilliant! Is he pleased! Oh that's just fantastic, I'm so happy for him!" It was hard not to feel enthusiastic about it. Bill would make a brilliant head boy. He would do even if he wasn't Gryffindor, Charlie's brother and utterly cool. "Mind you, I suppose we are biased." She added, a small smile tugging on her lips.

"A little." Charlie amended with a smirk.

"So, have you gotten your letter?" Lana asked, leaning forwards curiously. She hadn't seen hers that morning though she had left pretty early. Maybe it hadn't arrived yet?

"Yep! Lot's of books this year, not looking forward to that!" Charlie groaned. Lana laughed, sliding out from her chair.

"Come on, I wanna get mine!"

She waited for Charlie to stand before bounding through the bar and up the narrow staircase to the flat above.

As suspected, the moment Lana entered the Kitchen her eyes dropped to the familiar letter on the table. She pulled a seat back and dropped into it, running a finger over the Hogwarts crest easily.

Charlie joined her shortly, sitting opposite her and watching her open the letter amusedly. "You've done this 4 times before Lana, why so excited?"

"Because it's new!" Lana replied simply, smiling.

Lana pulled the letter out, then promptly folded it back up and slid it back into the envelope. "Right. What are we doing now?" she asked Charlie, chucking the letter onto the kitchen counter.

Charlie frowned for a moment, observing Lana's sudden lack of enthusiasm. "Why don't we go to mine?"

…

Lana thanked Godric that Charlie hadn't asked her anything about her letter. If she'd had told him, he would have tried to talk her out of what she was about to do. He probably would have succeeded which was something Lana needed to avoid.

The trek up to Hogwarts was muddier than usual, due to the rain the night before. It would dry up before she made her return journey however, judging by the round, yellow sun rising behind the hills.

There was a little wind on the open panes, causing Lana's long hair to whip around her face harshly. Her eyes sought the castle in front of her, undistracted by the wind or occasional puddles she stepped into. Her mind was set on one thing.

Upon reaching the great castle, Lana kicked some mud off her sneakers and hissed at the lurking Mrs Norris before fleeing up the stairs to McGonagall's office.

It took barely minutes to reach the office, her speed increased by new found determination. The door flew open before she'd even reached it, a side effect of her anger. She stormed though the door and pulled a badge from her pocket, throwing it down on McGonagall's desk.

"What the HELL is this?" she asked, eyes flashing dangerously.

McGonagall, who sat at her desk, barely flinched as Lana entered and began shouting in the silence. She peered through her glasses at the badge and then looked up at Lana calmly. "It's a prefect's badge Lana."

Lana shook her head, grinning manically. "No. It's not a prefect's badge. It's MY prefect's badge." the 15 year old took a moment to breathe, shaking her head. "What on earth made you think I should be a prefect?!"

"I'm so sorry." McGonagall said dryly. "I don't know what possessed me."

…

Lana stared incredulously, deciding whether to cry or scream. "It's not funny Professor! They could be dead! Everyone in this school could be dead and it would have been my fault! I don't want this because I'm Dumbledore's Granddaughter! I don't want the rumours or the bother! Okay?! I don't deserve this badge and I don't want it!"

"First of all, I didn't mean to say possessed. You can't take everything so personally! Secondly, I did not choose you because you're the headmaster's granddaughter."

Lana shook her head, looking away from the professor bitterly.

"I chose you because I know you do half the stuff prefects do anyway so it wouldn't be that much extra work for you. I chose you because you care too much about this school and the people in it to let anything bad happen to it and I chose you because it might distract you or tire you out enough that you won't obsess over the past year of your life until you go insane."

Lana inhaled deeply, tears pooling in her eyes. "Why do you think you know what's going on in my head? I'm fine! Everyone else believes me! I. Am. Fine."

"No one believes you Lana." McGonagall chuckled quietly, shaking her head. "Even when you smile you look sad. You're not as guarded as you think you are."

Well that was just silly, Lana was a fantastic actress. Self declared, of course, but all the same. If she was so bad at hiding her true feelings then why did Charlie believe her?

Unless he was actually the fantastic actor and he actually didn't believe her at all…

"Besides," The deputy head continued, leaning back in her chair rather casually and linking her fingers together in a lattice. "Your parents were prefects."

It was odd. Odd that one tiny, virtually insignificant piece of information could change Lana's whole views on the world. Her parents had been prefects. Had her father been mocked for being Prefect and the head teacher's son? Had he not cared? Is that how he'd met her mother?

"That changes nothing." The words escaped Lana's mouth before she'd had a chance to rethink her decision. "I'm too dangerous. You should give it to Elena, she'd like that."

There was a long silence as the professor observed Lana, stood still in front of her. Then came a sigh as she sat back up straight and picked the prefects badge up easily. Lana was suddenly reminded that McGonagall had been a quidditch player in her time at Hogwarts; it was so easy to tell in her actions and movements.

"Very Well Lana. Though you do realize that they'll talk either way."

Lana's eyes flicked up, hollow and somehow darker than usual. "I know." she replied quietly. "Thank you Professor."

With nothing else to say, Lana turned on her heel and swept from the office. Though she couldn't decide between anger or sadness, grief or bitterness- she knew for certain she didn't regret handing the prefects badge in. She wouldn't answer to Dumbledore. She wouldn't coast through life on his fame and achievements. While she still had the chance, she was going to do things her own way.


	3. A Birthday and a Sorting Ceremony

Chapter 3 - A Birthday and a Sorting Ceremony

Lana hadn't told Charlie she'd been presented with a Prefects Badge and therefore didn't tell him she'd given it up. Yet when they'd met up with Noah and Elena and the latter had revealed her news, Lana caught Charlie looking at her rather amusedly.

As always, she ignored him and smiled charmingly at Elena and Tonks.

It was the day before Tonks' birthday and the Gryffindors had met up in Hogsmeade, without the birthday girl, to plan her party.

"It's got to be something big!" Lucy exclaimed, beaming around the older Gryffindors. "She's turning 15, right? That's so cool."

"Not really, it can't be too good. We need to save something for her 17th as well!" Charlie protested with a frown.

"This is Dora we're talking about, she'd forget when her birthday was if I didn't remind her." Noah inputted amusedly.

Charlie grinned easily, leaning back in his chair and letting someone else talk.

Elena stepped in immediately; lips curving into a smile. "How about we all pretend we've forgotten? It'll drive her insane!"

Woah, Lana thought amusedly, Elena was cruel.

"Not forgotten!" Noah cut in sharply, shaking his curly haired head. "I'll be the one who has to listen to her complaining all day." Even though Noah was normally serious and rather cool by nature, his tone was oddly sour. His dark eyes flicked down as he spoke and his arms folded over his chest.

Lana eyed him suspiciously. Maybe he was just anxious about getting her a present?

"Okay then…" Lucy inputted, piping up from the corner again. "What about we just don't make a very big deal over it."

"And then…?" Lana asked, stirring her butterbeer with a straw. They'd been discussing it for what felt like hours and if they didn't come to a decision soon it'd turn to Tonks' Birthday and they'd have absolutely nothing prepared.

"And then we bring her to the beach near mine and have a beach party." Noah finally declared, clapping his hands together as if his word was final. The Gryffindors took a moment to observe each other's reactions. Each were different.

Elena and Lucy looked thrilled, glee on their faces. Charlie and Bill's brows were raised, thinking over the idea. Bill was undoubtedly wondering about practicality, Charlie- food. Ella looked impressed that Noah had come up with the idea, Lana looked plain tired.

"Well, it's decided. Lucy, Elena- You go and get supplies," Lana instructed, chucking them her freshly filled purse. The two girls smiled brightly and jumped up, ready to shop. "Charlie, could you go make some cakes or buns?"

"Of course, Mum'll help out as well!" Charlie nodded, joining the others as he slid from his seat. Bill followed, wrapping a cloak around his shoulders.

"I'll apparate us, I need my wand anyway."

The large group left, leaving Noah, Lana and Ella behind.

"Right, let's go to the beach and set up!"

...

The following evening, Lana stood in the Kitchen of Noah's house, sipping a cup of coffee absently. Her eyes drifted out of the window as she awaited an important Floo call from Noah himself. She could make out the beach down the hill and saw the others preparing for Dora's 15th birthday party.

Dora and Noah had gone to Brighton for the day and were expected to return sometime soon. Noah had promised to Floo before they left so that everyone could get into place on the beach.

Lana had opted to stay in the house and wait for the call, letting the others prepare the party. It was silly but she felt too exposed on the beach, too vulnerable. It gave her a weird feeling of déjà vu to be on a beach, and she didn't like it.

Lana turned, placing her empty coffee cup on the table behind her. Noah's little brother, Cedric, sat at the table reading. Cedric looked almost completely opposite to Noah with copper hair and sparkly, expressive eyes. He was a bright kid, very happy all of the time.

"Will Noah be much longer?" the 10 year old asked Lana as she turned, smiling easily.

"I'm not sure." Lana replied quickly. She hoped not long. She wanted it to be nice and warm whilst they were celebrating, not cool and dark. Besides, in the daylight it was a lot easier to spot any suspicious figures lurking in the background.

"Okay." Cedric mumbled, looking back down at his book.

Lana twisted back around, leaning against the counter as she watched the empty fireplace. They'd been gone hours so they couldn't be that much longer.

Just as Lana had thought it, the fire roared to life and Noah's head burst into the green flames. "Tonks has gone on the twister one last time and then we're coming back, be ready." Gryffindor's newest prefect announced hurriedly, talking over the crackling flames. Lana dropped to the floor in front of the fire and nodded quickly.

"We will be, see you soon." she replied instantly, smiling at her friend before he popped back out of the fire and disappeared. Lana stood back up, brushing her hands clean on her shorts.

"Right Cedric, Let's go join the others on the beach."

Cedric hopped off his stool and hurried out the door with Lana following him, just as quickly. They needed to get to the beach, light the bonfire and the barbeque and be read in position for when Noah and Dora arrived.

Already at the beach was the entire Weasley family, Tonks' reluctant mother and lovely father, Elena, Ella, Lucy, Derrick Crownley, Art Bones, Nathan Hart and Max Taylor as well as a few other friends of Tonks from Hogwarts.

Lana reached the beach soon enough, Cedric running ahead to tell them that the birthday girl was on her way.

Upon arrival, Lana headed straight to the presents table to add her own gift to the pile: a new cloak. Lana was really quite proud of her selection, considering she'd had to go to a completely unknown shopping street to get Tonks's present without being caught by the press.

The cloak was a dark plum colour, with leather panels and many pockets at odd places all over the arms. It was random, unique and completely Nymphadora.

"You Alright?" Charlie suddenly appeared behind Lana, concern in his chocolate eyes. Lana nodded absently, organizing the piles of presents distractedly.

"Of course I am," She told him quietly, glancing at him momentarily before continuing in her work. "You?"

Charlie chuckled, tugging Lana away from the presents and back towards the rest of the invitees. "Yeah, No more work for you today. It's time to relax now." Charlie told her firmly, steering her away from the table.

Lana frowned, shaking her head. "That's not working, I'm fine I swear." She protested stubbornly, looking helplessly over her shoulder at the messy jumble of presents. Of course, it didn't really matter at all: when Tonks arrived and saw them she would simply dive straight into them- organized or not. Yet Lana still felt the need to busy herself with the task, just to have something to do.

"I'm sure you are, just humour me?" Charlie asked softly, taking Lana's hand in his.

Despite wanting to, a lot, Lana couldn't say no to her boyfriends brown eyes so nodded reluctantly and followed him over to Elena, Ella, Lucy and Bill.

"Drink?" Ella asked as they approached, holding out a bottle of butterbeer to Lana. The Gryffindor accepted the bottle gratefully and sipped on the warming liquid slowly, watching as Mr Weasley and Ted Tonks attempted lighting the large bonfire with muggle matches. Eventually they gave up and Ted pulled out his wand whilst Mr Weasley struggled to keep the twins away from the flames.

"Everyone! They're nearly here!" Molly suddenly cried out, pointing at the house on the hill where the window glowed green for a few seconds, indicating the Floo network had been activated.

The guests crowded around the bonfire, at a reasonably safe distance, and waited for the last 2 to join them.

After what felt like hours, Noah and Dora emerged from the house and began walking down to the beach. It was obvious that Tonks spotted them all about halfway down as she suddenly squealed and began running towards them at an alarming speed.

"She'd going to fall." Lana said quickly, her grip tightening on Charlie's hand. Tonks had a bad track record when it came to anything to do with moving, running especially.

"Yep." Came a unanimous reply from everyone around Lana. They all knew Tonks too well to believe this was going to end well.

The group held their breaths as Tonks jumped down some sandy wooden steps and bound towards them, barely looking where she was going.

"Ohmigod!" She screamed in delight as she advanced down the beach, arms flailing around in the air around her aimlessly. Then, as predicted, Dora tripped on thin air and landed face first in the sand.

Silence ensued, other than the gently lapping of the waves upon the sand and the sea breeze.

Tonks pulled herself up, spat some sand out of her mouth and then her lips curved into an easy, sheepish grin. "I'm alright." She called happily, her hair rippling in rainbows.

Noah soon caught up with Tonks and picked her up effortlessly, tugging her down the beach to the bonfire. "Happy Birthday!" The greeting came from every guest, loud and jolly as they crowded around the Birthday girl to greet her with hugs and kisses.

Last to greet Nymphadora was her mother who dragged her away from the party sternly, leaving the others to pour drinks and control the now raging bonfire.

Lana, along with Bill, Percy and Charlie were assigned to dragging the twins away from the bonfire as and when they got too close whilst the adults set up some deck chairs close around the other side of the fire.

Eventually the twins calmed down and ran off down the beach to look for crabs, Ronald trailing after them. Lana plonked down into the sand, unhooking her sandals to bury her feet like a child. The last time she'd been at the beach was her short visit to France in the summer of her first year. What a year that had been. Charlie soon joined her, sitting next to her with a contemplative look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Lana murmured, watching the Redhead's deep brown eyes lost in the sunset.

Charlie's head turned slowly, his eyes calculating. "Nothing. I don't know. School again soon… Don't you think that we just get to escape reality again in school? It's like nothing can touch us in Hogwarts, even though we know it can because it has."

"Charlie." Lana began, frowning, "You're not making sense." She told him seriously, sitting up and crossing her legs to listen properly.

"Look. We're here aren't we on this beach?"

"Yes, we are. Are you feeling alright?" Lana asked, her forehead creased in confusion. Charlie sighed, exasperated, and shook his head impatiently.

"Yes, Listen to me. Don't you feel… exposed? But in Hogwarts, it's almost as if we're safe because the adults are there and they're in charge because they know what they're doing."

Lana's eyes never left Charlie's as she thought about his words. Though she was mildly surprised at her boyfriend's sudden serious, solemn statement it became painfully obvious that Charlie was in fact, a lot more observant then he let on.

"No… Sorry Charlie. I felt like that in our first year or even our second year… but I realize now… The adults are as clueless as us. They don't know what they're doing! They can't protect us, they haven't protected us and if Dumbledore's involved then they won't protect us." Lana paused, inhaling sharply, "Don't you see? Everything is a test. They're been through it all and now it's our turn. We can't become so comfortable, thinking that we're protected when we're not."

Charlie shook his head in protest, placing a comforting hand on Lana's neck and smiling sadly. "Oh Lana, You can be so thick sometimes."

Lana let out a sharp laugh, glancing around Charlie's shoulder to make sure nobody was listening to them.

"I know we can't trust Dumbledore. But there are other people. Do you think my parents would ever let anything hurt you? Do you think Abe would or Professor McGonagall? Hell, Even Snape's gone out of his way to look after you recently!"

Lana burst out laughing, despite tears filling her olive eyes. "Charlie!" She giggled as he wiped her tears away, pulling her into a loving hug. "Your parents will always worship Dumbledore, no matter what. We both know that. Abe's his brother and there are things in their history that will tie them together always! Even McGonagall and Snape are linked to him."

Lana reached a hand up and cupped Charlie's cheek tenderly, her laughter fading into a weak smile. "There is no escaping Dumbledore. He's everywhere and yet, when we need him most he's never there."

"I disagree." Charlie mumbled, his ears tinged with pink. "I think, when the time comes, he'll be there and everything he's ever done to hurt you won't matter anymore."

Lana sighed into Charlie's warm chest, tightening her grip around him. "I hope you're right Charlie." She whispered into his chest, feeling him kiss her forehead.

"Of course I am," Charlie replied with a grin. "When am I ever wrong?"

...

It had been a few hours since the party began and the sun had now slipped beyond the horizon, leaving the beach lit only by the ever burning bonfire. The guests had split up: the adults set up camp closest to the bonfire with Ginny, who should have been asleep hours ago by now; then there was Bill, Derrick and Ella who had formed their own little group down by the sea; Cedric and the rest of the Weasley children were telling ghost stories at the bottom of the hill.

Finally there was the birthday girl herself, Noah, Elena, Art, Max, Lana, Charlie and Lucy who had moved half way up the hill and were talking with ease as they watched countless stars appear above the sea.

Lana sat up, pulling away from Charlie's embrace to see a figure appear on the horizon carrying a small package.

"Is that…is that Nott?" she asked with a frown, squinting into the darkness atop the hill.

Charlie sat up beside her and nodded curtly. "Yeah. I invited him too. Is that alright?" He asked quietly, shrugging absently.

"You invited Nott? You… invited Nott?" Tonks giggled, sitting up to peer up at the approaching figure. "That's hilarious!" she exclaimed, hitting the floor with her fist.

Noah rolled his eyes as he rose from the sandy grasses and propped his head up with his fist.

"Why is it hilarious?" Charlie asked, disgruntled as both Tonks and Lana continued giggling with mirth.

"The girls seem to think that just because you're jealous of Nott, you can't be rational and polite and invite him to a party." Noah filled in, his voice exasperated and slightly amused.

More raucous laughter came from the group, albeit they were all slightly tipsy.

"Jealous? I'm not jealous of Nott! What's there to be Jealous of?" Charlie asked coolly, his ears alarmingly red even in the dark night.

"My astounding good looks, wit and charm?" Nott asked, plonking down beside Lucy who giggled, shaking her head.

"No, your ability to make up incredible lies." She retorted primly, smiling innocently.

The group burst out laughing, and to Nott's credit he barely broke out in a blush but smirked unfazed. "It's a gift, that is true. For instance, Lucy is a fantastic Beater!"

"Oh nice try Calloway," Lana grinned, her eyes twinkling in amusement. "You haven't got any Slytherins here to back you up. It's just little old you against all of us."

"There's a point!" Elena laughed, pulling her long copper hair onto one shoulder. "You're actually the only slytherin here… in fact, are there any other non-Gryffindors at all?"

"Actually, my mother was a slytherin." Tonks pointed out, her voice blissful and calm as her hair rippled through all the neon colours that shone in the dark. "And my dad was a Hufflepuff."

"Well… that's surprising." Lana giggled, referring to Andromeda's cool personality and composure. "I always thought Noah would make a good slytherin."

Tonks threw her head back, emitting a loud squeal of laughter. "-Why?" she asked, wheezing for breath.

"I don't know. Just the way he holds himself. Then again, If he was a Slytherin then you'd probably never had spoken to him. I mean, it's taken us 4 years to talk to Nott!"

"Even that'll be difficult when we return to Hogwarts. Do you know how much stick I got when I returned to Hogwarts at the end of the year?" Nott asked, grinning effortlessly.

"When I hugged you?" Lana enquired with a sheepish smile. It was practically unheard of for Slytherins to befriend Gryffindors, especially since the war.

Nott nodded in reply, chuckling.

"Well, In future you should refrain from hugging my girlfriend." Charlie butted in, his grin betraying his serious and authoritative tone.

Lana sighed, lying back into Charlie and staring up at the stars. "You were right Charlie… what you said earlier. When we get back to Hogwarts It's going to be like escaping reality again."

"I don't think you'll ever be able to escape reality Lana." Tonks said quietly, her eyes big, blue and sad.

No, Lana thought dejectedly, she didn't have enough time left in the world to live in a dream. If she left actuality for even the tiniest moment, she could miss it all.

...

On the very last night of August, Lana sat in her bedroom at the Hogs Head. Her bedroom was practically empty, as if she was moving out completely. Everything she owned, which wasn't a lot really, had been packed into her trunk- ready to be lugged up to the school the following morning for the start of the new school year.

Bizarrely, it didn't really feel like a new year to Lana. She'd been up at the school so much over summer, spending time with McGonagall and annoying Snape. Even when she hadn't been at school, it was always in her sights. In fact, it was the first thing she saw when she woke up in the morning. So to the Gryffindor, it hadn't really felt like a brake at all.

Nonetheless, her trunk had been packed for hours with everything from old drawings of Amie's that she couldn't bring herself to throw away, to a stack of new stationary, school books and equipment.

With some satisfaction, Lana swiftly reminded herself that this could potentially be the last year she would have to do Potions and Ancient Runes. That prospect alone was enough to make Lana want to hurry to school as soon as possible, simply to get the whole ordeal over and done with forever.

At the sound of a sharp knock on her door, Lana turned with a start. After scolding herself for being so jumpy, she called: "Come in?" In a shaky voice. What was she expecting, a monster? Lana rolled her eyes, pulling her legs onto her bed as the door creaked slowly open.

Abe took a step into the room, his wintry blue eyes sparkling. "I need to make a trip to Diagon Alley. Is there anything you need for school?" The barman asked gruffly, fastening the buttons on his thick, brown cloak.

Lana sighed, thinking carefully. "Nope. I don't think so anyway." she said after a moment, shrugging. Abe simply nodded and withdrew from the room, shutting the door behind him.

Alone once more, Lana leant back into her pillow and stared up at the ceiling. Normally, she'd be at The Burrow right now. But due to her current circumstances and given what happened at the end of the last school year, McGonagall had suggested she just walk up to the school and arrive alone. It would be easier, and probably safer.

Still, Lana could imagine everything that was happening at the burrow as she lay in bed- alone in a bare flat above an old pub. Bill would be laying around the house at perfect ease, wherever he was, reading or napping. Charlie would be stressing out, doing all of his last minute packing and juggling keeping an eye out for the twins whilst yelling at Percy to stop being so infuriating. Percy would be packing, re-packing and making checklists of everything he needed for his start to Hogwarts.

Once again, the fact that Percy would be at Hogwarts this year dawned on Lana. With Percy, you could either get on very well or not get on at all. Considering the fact that the first year generally hated Lana anyway, she didn't think that the year was going to go well at all.

Groaning to herself loudly, now that the house was empty, Lana rolled onto her side and reached for her lamp. The least she could do was fall asleep now whilst she was tired and get a good nights sleep, despite the fact it was barely sunset yet, rather than waiting till a reasonable hour to go to bed and suddenly finding herself wide awake.

Left in the dark, Lana's eyes drifted shut and the silence lulled her into what would hopefully be a long, peaceful sleep.

...

It was after a brilliant 8 hours sleep that Lana awoke to a dark blue sky and a thousand twinkling stars shining brightly over Hogwarts School. It wasn't even four in the morning, but Lana had awoken feeling positive and refreshed after the longest sleep she'd had in weeks. Regardless of her early night, she'd still be awake till late that night so she'd be just as tired.

Then there was the matter of what to do in the next 16 hours before she had to walk up to Hogwarts. All she really wanted was to sneak into the burrow and cuddle her boyfriend until he had to leave her for the train, but that wasn't an option really. If she didn't get jinxed for breaking into their home at night, Molly would murder her if she found her in Charlie's bedroom at night.

Life was so unfair, Lana thought airily.

Pulling her pillow over her head, Lana clenched her eyes tight shut and tried to regain that sleepy feeling she'd had earlier. Eventually, she gave up trying and sat back up: crossing her arms sulkily. They were going to some long, long hours.

...

"You're early! Is anything the matter?" McGonagall exclaimed, her Scottish accent thickening in her surprise at Lana arriving at her office door hours before the start of the feast with her trunk.

Lana cringed, stepping further into the office. "No, I just didn't see the point in staying at Abe's. I have nothing to do all day seeing as though Charlie and the others are on the train so…" Lana trailed, she could have just said she was bored but didn't want to come across as childish. She failed to find a reasonable reason for turning up to school so early, leaving herself looking fairly silly.

"Oh. Well, that makes sense I suppose." McGonagall shrugged, much to Lana's disbelief. "Would you like to sit down, or are you going straight to the common room?" The professor asked, flicking her wand at a tray of tea on the table behind her without sparing a glance in its direction. She must have made tea a lot in her time, Lana thought to herself amusedly, to be able to perform the action without looking.

"Uhm, no I'll stay if you're not busy?"

"Busy? Term hasn't started yet; I've next to no work to mark." McGonagall chuckled, pouring the tea absently as Lana sat, crossing her legs on the wooden seat. "So, looking forward to your OWL year? I doubt you'll struggle much, you haven't done before."

Lana shook her head, laughing weakly. "I don't know Professor. I don't know whether you've noticed but by Summer I'm usually either half dead or given up all hope on life."

"Previously, yes." McGonagall smiled wryly. "But not this year. This year you're going to behave, aren't you?"

Behave? Lana masked the outrage on her face with a grin. She always behaved perfectly. Well… to people she liked.

"I'll try my best." she finally replied sheepishly. "But it's most often the people around me, not just me." She added, smiling as she tied her long hair into a high pony tail.

"I'm sure." McGonagall smirked, looking shockingly like a Slytherin.

Lana grinned.

...

"Professor! They're here!" Lana exclaimed, flying through the door of McGonagall's office with her freshly adorned school robes billowing behind her. For the New Year, Lana had been bought a new school robe for winter and another for summer that was a lot thinner and tucked away in her drawers. Beneath her robes she wore a grey pleated skirt, for the special occasion, and a white blouse with her Gryffindor tie and usual sneakers. "The carriages are arriving!" She repeated, waiting for the head of Gryffindor to react and get up.

McGonagall sighed and pushed her chair back with a scrape along the floor to stand. "Off you go then. You might miss Charlie and you'll want to slip into the hall with him, won't you?"

Lana grinned. "Good Idea!" she decided, skidding back out of the office. Her excitement was barely containable. She hadn't seen Charlie for what felt like weeks, though it had actually only been a day or so. Then there was Noah, Tonks, Elena, Lucy, Ella and Nott who she'd not seen since Tonks's birthday.

Lana practically fell down most of the stairs in her hurry to get to the entrance hall. As she reached the first floor, she could already here the buzz of students as they arrived at the school.

Lana waited, unnoticed, at the top of the stairs. She needed to go down and make sure Charlie hadn't already arrived or else she'd look very silly hurrying into a hall all alone.

As if by magic, the next person to appear through the door was freckled, red-haired and looking around the entrance hall as hopefully as Lana was.

Lana flung down the last few steps, beaming as she flung her arms around her befuddled boyfriend who had apparently not seen her coming.

"Hey! At ease guys, save the reunion for later." Tonks quipped, pulling Lana off Charlie with a mischievous smile gracing her pixie face. "Now, it's time for food."

"Not yet." Bill cut in, grimacing. "We have to watch Percy's sorting first."

"_And _look like were interested, urgh!" Charlie added, shaking his head with an expression of both disgust and exasperation.

"Oh the joys of being an only child." Tonks grinned, slipping her arm into Lana's and dragging her into the hall.

Lana looked back at the boys, smiling brightly. Maybe, after a little time, things could go back to normal.

It didn't take long for the Hall to hush considerably, yet sure that Charlie was moments behind her, Lana ignored the students as she had done her entire school career and sat down.

"So," Dora grinned, sliding into the seat opposite Lana. "How long did you manage before coming up to the school?" the metamorphmagus asked cheekily, pouring them both some pumpkin juice.

Lana flushed, crossing her arms over her chest moodily. "12 hours actually."

Tonks arched an eyebrow, her eyes twinkling.

Lana narrowed her own eyes, sighing. "I woke up at 3 in the morning." She finally admitted bitterly, eying the pink head coolly.

"Ah." Tonks grinned, pausing as the others joined them and sat at the table. When the scraping of the bench stopped and the Gryffindors stopped shuffling, she continued. "That explains it."

"Explains what?" Charlie asked, perplexed as he dropped into the seat beside Lana and draped an arm over her shoulders easily.

"Never you mind Mr Weasley." Tonks winked, sliding up to give Noah more room.

Charlie grinned to Lana who smiled back, shaking her head amusedly. "Ignore Tonks. She'd been denied any gossip since Elena left her house."

"Haven't you heard of Owls?" Elena asked quickly, smiling mischievously. "I think she's been supplied with more than enough gossip. Then again, without me she could just read the papers."

"Oh yes, Have you ended your affair with Bill, Lana?" Ella asked swiftly, her eyes twinkling in delight. The Gryffindors surrounding them burst out laughing, the loudest of which were Charlie, Bill and Tonks. Lana flushed pink, unable to understand how they could find it so hilarious anymore. It was preposterous.

"Obviously." Lana said hotly, "Why do you care, Ella?" She added to the seventh year, smirking evilly.

Now it was Ella's turn to blush, her peachy cheeks almost as scarlet as Charlie's hair. "I don't like sharing." the ex-chaser finally spoke, her expression calm and focused.

The laughter faded into a stunned silence, the grins dropping open into astonished gawps.

"Don't worry… you can keep him all to yourself." Elena finally broke the silence. Lana could almost hear the squeals of excitement ringing inside Elena's head.

"Ladies, Ladies. There's plenty of me to go around." Bill grinned, raising his hands up in a calming motion. Ella, Elena, Tonks and Lana each quirked an eyebrow at him, casting looks of dubiousness and dry amusement.

"We're fine." Tonks grinned. "Really. Lana has Charlie, I have Noah, Elena could have pretty much anyone in the world… yep. We're all good."

Conversation was cut off by the doors opening as Flitwick entered with the sorting hat, and the already full up Hall turned to watch it apprehensively. No-one memories of being sorted were good. It was a horrible process in front of the whole school, not to mention the fact that there was a mardy old hat sorting through your thoughts.

"Oh Godric." Charlie groaned, dropping his forehead onto Lana's shoulder tiredly. "This evening is never going to end, is it?"

He had a point. The sorting ceremony was notoriously long and dull. Lana had a feeling that with Percy a part of it, it would take far longer.

"Relax," she grinned, pulling a hipflask from her robes inconspicuously. "I've got us covered. A leaving present off Abe." She explained, pouring a generous amount into hers and Charlie's pumpkin juice before passing it on to Tonks.

After the flask returned to Lana's pocket, the Gryffindors raised their goblets.

"Here's to another year in this castle." Bill announced, grinning madly.

"Another year with this crazy girl." Noah added with a sigh.

"Another year of drama!" Elena beamed, sweeping her hair back theatrically.

"Another year of exams." Charlie groaned, shaking his head with a frown.

"Another year of quidditch!" Lucy piped up from a few students down, having been listening in on their conversation.

"To another year on this earth." Lana finished off, taking a large gulp of her drink. The others joined her eagerly, slamming their goblets down as the front doors to the Hall opened and McGonagall was revealed standing in front of a large group of new first years.

Percy was easily spottable, stood at the very front with bright ginger hair and round glasses. He looked dead on as they walked down the length of the hall, his face stiff and cold like the several potential Slytherins around him.

"3rd on the left, Slytherin. 3 gallons." Lana heard Tonks whisper from across the table.

"Naah. She's a Hufflepuff." Noah said, shaking his head. "You're on."

"4th back, he's definitely Ravenclaw isn't he?" Elena offered, nervously.

"No. He's Slytherin for sure. 2 gallons?" Lana matched, biting her lip. The kid in question had short dark hair and weirdly blank eyes.

"Done." Elena replied happily.

The first years reached the front and the sorting began, starting with Amelia Adams- The blonde girl that Noah had bet on with Tonks. Lana immediately turned and grinned at Tonks who looked curious, yet defeat was evident in her blue eyes. Adams was a very common muggle name and a very rare wizard name. Even if she wasn't muggle born, she could only be half-blood which still wouldn't get her into slytherin.

She hopped onto the stool and after a moment's deliberation, the hat called out Hufflepuff. Noah grinned holding his hand out expectantly. "Looks can be deceiving." he whispered airily, taking the gallons his girlfriend handed him and dropping them into his pocket.

A few more first years were sorted after that. The first Gryffindors, a boy called Peter Hughes and a girl called Millie Jones. The first year that Lana had waged on, Zach Langford, did in fact become sorted into Slytherin.

With a look of guilt, Lana turned to Elena and grimaced. "You wouldn't have known because you're muggleborn. The Langfords are a relatively well known pureblood family. Don't worry; I'm not going to take your money. I cheated."

Elena grinned, shrugging across the table. "You're too slytherin for your own good."

"And don't you just love me?" Lana countered with a wink.

They returned to silence, sipping their 'pumpkin' juices slowly as the sorting ceremony continued. Lana's eyes drifted from the snooping school as most of the students seemed to be watching her instead of the sorting, and she smiled at Hagrid instead who waved back cheerily.

When Percy's name was called out, she forced herself to look back to the hat. Percy stepped out of the first years calmly and sat on the stool without a moment's hesitation. Almost immediately the hat called out Gryffindor and Percy jumped up, his eyes focusing on their table for the first time since his arrival as he looked for his brothers.

Lana swore she heard both Bill and Charlie groan in unison as the hat shouted out. Lana leant in to Charlie's arm as they shuffled up to let Percy sit down. Not much later, the sorting ceremony ended with Gail Young of Hufflepuff.

Then Dumbledore stood, opening out his arms in a welcoming gesture to each of the four houses. "To our old students, welcome back. To our new students- Welcome to Hogwarts. May your time here be well spent."

After that, relatively short and odd, snippet of advice- Dumbledore sat back down and the feast appeared on the tables in the blink of an eye.

"Congratulations Percy." Bill and Charlie murmured, somewhat sourly as they dished food onto their plates.

"Did I see you betting throughout the sorting?" Percy asked, pushing his glasses up his nose to enlarge his disapproving gaze.

Lana gawped. How on earth had he been able to tell or even know what they were doing? She hadn't seen him once spare a glance in their direction. What was he, some sort of uba-spy?

"n-no. Of course not!" Bill spluttered, sitting up straight and rigid as his ears burned bright red.

"Humph." Percy looked down to begin filling up his plate leaving Bill and Charlie staring at each other in incredulity.

"Kill. Me. Now." Bill mouthed across the table whilst Percy still looked away, his head shaking rapidly.

Lana giggled and sipped her juice slowly, sending a sweet smile at Percy as he glared at her. The first year looked away.

...

When the feast ended, the students returned to their common rooms. Unlike previous years where Lana and the Gryffindors would hang around the common room until long after everyone else went to be- This year they took to the boy's dormitory. The Gryffindors has most suspiciously hovered around Lana, attempting to eavesdrop on her conversations until Lana lost her patience and fled up the stairs away from prying eyes.

Charlie and the others followed and eventually they'd formed their own little gathering in the boy's dorm with some, more than forbidden from school premises, firewhiskey and butterbeers which Lana had brought with her from the Hogs Head. Max Taylor sat on his bed, watching them quietly though never speaking. Art Bones was in his bed, his curtains drawn already. However, he hadn't asked them to leave or told them to shut up so Lana guessed he didn't truly mind their presence. Either that or he was just too tired to argue. Noah and Tonks were on Noah's bed and Lana was sat laying with Charlie on his own.

Bill, now head boy, had his own rooms with the Head Girl and so no longer resided in the Gryffindor Tower. Lucy was with friends from her own year group, as was Ella.

It was late, or early, depending on how you viewed it. For Lana, It was late as she'd normally be waking up in a few short hours. Hopefully tonight she'd be able to sleep in till 6 or 7 and not fall asleep through lunch like she normally would do.

When the clock reached 2 in the morning, both Noah and Charlie were sleeping peacefully besides Lana and Tonks as the girls chatted quietly. Eventually, they sighed and dragged themselves off the boys' beds, pulling the covers over their boyfriends quietly before leaving the room.

Having returned to their own dorms after the six weeks away from school, they climbed back into their old beds and settled down for the first sleep back at school before lessons began.

As Lana's head dropped onto her pillow, she was faced with the worrying prospect of what the morning would bring. A new article about her in the news, a fresh bout of rumours about her spreading through the school or worse- a timetable that said she had double potions last thing on a Friday. Again.

To be honest, Lana would have taken all the rumours in the world to avoid potions.


	4. An Unexpected Professor

Chapter 4 - An Unexpected Professor

"If I see a single owl in the sky this morning, I am going to take out my wand and shoot it down. I swear to Godric." Tonks growled from her bed, thumping her duvet down around her legs causing Henry, the cat, to hiss loudly and leap to the floor.

Lana nodded in agreement, sat cross legged on her own bed as she tied her hair up into a high pony tail. "All night. All freaking night just hooting away." she snarled through gritted teeth, her eyes wide with a mad sort of look on her face.

"I mean," Elena added, exiting the bathroom looking perfect as ever, "I used to love owls. I always wanted one. They're lovely creatures… but now…. Now I'd like to set the owlry alight." Her voice was quiet, her eyes wild.

It was obvious that none of the three girls had a peaceful night's sleep, though Lana looked the same as always considering she never got a decent nights sleep. Now, looking at how awful Elena and Tonks had looked before preparing themselves for the day, Lana became aware of the fact that she must look like she'd been dragged through a hedge every night.

She was beyond jealous that Tonks was able to morph her features, disguising her bags and pale complexion with flawless, tanned skin. Even Elena was a transformed girl after half an hour in the bathroom.

"Right," Lana eventually sighed, "I'm heading down to breakfast. You ready El?" She asked, climbing off her bed to grab her bag. Due to the wild owls hooting all night, they'd been awake for hours. Unlike Dora who chose to sit in bed, singing loudly to herself to block out the noise, Elena and Lana actually used the time effectively to get ready for school ensuring an early start to the day.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Elena smiled, scooping Henry off the floor and hugging him to her tightly.

"You're not bringing Henry. He gets hair everywhere." Lana warned, straightening out her tie in front of the mirror.

"Aawr, don't be mean to the kitty." Elena cooed, holding Henry's snow white paw out to Lana and waving it easily. Henry didn't seem very pleased at being used like a doll.

"I'm not as mean as Charlie and Noah." Lana defended, grinning at the thought of the boys calling the innocent cat names, "I'm just fed up of pulling cat hair out my mouth!"

"She has a point." Tonks inputted wisely, still sat in her bed comfortably.

"Sure, sure." Elena grinned, dropping the cat onto his owner's feet. "Let's leave Tonks to get up."

The two Gryffindors left the dorm and hurried down into the common room finding it empty as always. Most of the first years would probably already be at breakfast, anxiously awaiting their timetables. Everyone else would be in bed, too lazy to care anymore.

It still felt weird to Lana, to walk around the corridors knowing that Lewis wasn't waiting around the corner for her. Half the time she still expected him to appear from nowhere and cut her down yet again.

Of course, he couldn't possibly.

As expected, the great hall was fairly empty underneath the enchanted ceiling of a clear blue sky. Lana half waved at McGonagall as she entered the hall with Elena, though the Professors expression immediately sent a wave on anxiety into Lana's mind. It was grim, to say the least.

Exchanging a worried look with Elena, Lana slid onto a seat and poured herself a pumpkin juice in silence. "Godric knows what's happened now." she muttered, handing the jug to Elena who poured herself a goblet of the juice.

"Every year I leave this school thinking I've seen it all." Elena replied, shaking her copper haired head in amazement. "And then the next year I realize just how wrong I was."

Lana laughed into her goblet. She'd never heard anything more true, only she wasn't the one seeing it all. She was the one living it all.

Surprisingly, Lana and Elena weren't left alone for too long as shortly afterwards, Charlie, Noah, Tonks and Bill appeared through the doors of the great hall. The Gryffindors joined the girls quickly, the Great Hall suddenly becoming a lot louder as the raucous teens entered happily.

"Good Morning my dear." Charlie grinned, sitting beside Lana and greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Good Morning." Lana replied, somewhat bemusedly. "What's got you in such a good mood?" She asked, unable to prevent herself from grinning straight back at him. His cheeriness was infectious.

"I don't know." Charlie replied with a shrug. "Maybe I get to see you everyday for the rest of the year?" He winked, smiling mischievously.

"Aah, I understand now." Lana smiled brightly, "You're such a lucky boy." she smirked again, pecking Charlie's nose quickly before turning back to the table where Tonks and Noah were sat opposite them, staring aghast.

"If we ever become that sickeningly cute I'm going to throw myself of the astronomy tower." Noah commented, his tone amusingly flat as he spoke to Tonks.

Tonks nodded, looking as if she were about to vomit, "Me first." she added, shaking her head in horror.

Lana shot them both glares before turning back to Charlie. How dare they try to put a damper on her sudden good mood! Charlie burst out laughing at the look on Lana's face and handed her some toast easily. "Eat up, Mardy Bum!" He instructed with a grin.

Lana nodded glumly and picked at the toast, listening to the conversations around them. Charlie and Noah had gotten into an amusingly heated discussion about the upcoming Quidditch match against Ravenclaw that they had yet to start practicing for. Tonks, Elena and Ella were comparing rumours they'd heard and A little way down the table, Lucy was talking to some boys in her own year group about their new timetables.

McGonagall was slowly making her way up the Gryffindor table as it began filling up with tired students, unwilling to begin the school year. The dedicated professor stopped to talk to ach student about their timetable, spending at least a minute with each 1st, 5th and 7th year as they were the most important.

Right before the professor made it to the group of fifth years, the hall became overcome with the noise of a hundred owls delivering the weeks post. Papers were dropped off to subscribers, letters of luck were given to first years and the slytherin table was laden in fancy gifts to students from parents, ensuring a days worth of showing off from most of them.

Lana couldn't help but grin as Nott rolled his eyes at her, waving a fancy silver watch in the air. He winked as he fastened it to his wrist, slipping his old one off and disposing of it with magic. The smugness on his face was quickly evaporated as Snape made his way down the ale, handing out timetables.

Lana barely looked away when Charlie's hands wrapped firmly around her arms and helped her out of the bench. "Charlie! What're you doing?" she asked confusedly, straightening out her robes hurriedly.

"I'm going to walk to the Ministry of Magic. I'm going to take a newspaper. And I'm going to use it to strangle Cornelius Fudge." Charlie replied loudly, scrunching up a newspaper in his fist.

"He doesn't mean that!" Lana chuckled, waving at the students around them who looked up, alarmed. She grabbed his fist and snatched the paper, flattening it out on the table to read. Unsurprisingly, it was yet another article about her. Though thankfully, it was mostly about Hogwarts. She was only mentioned a few, if that, times.

"Look, it's fine!" Lana told Charlie hurriedly, though the Weasley's ears were still very red. "I don't even care anymore; let them write what they want."

"That's not the point Lana," Charlie argued, shaking his shaggy haired head. "They shouldn't be writing about you. It's not fair, it's not right. I thought that now we're back at school that they'd lose interest."

Lana sighed, vanishing the paper with a flick of her wrist. "Give it time Charlie, We've barely been back a night. Besides, when has Hogwarts ever done anything to protect us?" She added with a smile.

A few moments passed before Charlie finally sighed and slumped back down onto a bench, shoving a hand through his hair in thought. "Of course you're right. As per usual. When did you get so calm about all this?"

Lana smirked, sitting beside Charlie easily. "When I realised that they can't hurt me. They can gossip and assume all they like, but as long as I have you… And Dora, Elena and Noah of course, then I'm pretty much happy."

Charlie grinned as Tonks imitated retching noises and Noah rubbed her back sympathetically. "Oh god, the soppiness is going to kill me!" the metamorphmagus exclaimed loudly, throwing her hands up in the air theatrically.

"Miss Tonks, if you feel ill I suggest you attend the Hospital Wing. If not, I suggest you shut up."

Now it was Lana and Charlie's turn to laugh as Tonks was silenced, though she still had the nerve to stick her tongue out at the couple childishly which caused more laughter on the Gryffindor table.

"Now that Miss Tonks has decided to act a little older than she was doing previously, I suggest you take a look at your timetables." McGonagall said curtly, handing the small sheets out one by one to the group.

Lana groaned inwardly upon taking her own, her eyes casting quickly over the weeks schedule. Yet again she had double potions, only this year it was last thing on a Wednesday.

"Merlin! Look how many free periods we have! This is going to be brilliant!"

Lana and Noah, along with McGonagall, sent Charlie very incredulous looks. As if the school year was going to be a breeze. Lana had actually heard that OWL years were the most stressful and even the cleverest of students managed to break down at least once during the school year. Though Bill seemed to cope fine with all of it.

"I'm sure you'll be using those free periods for studying, Mr Weasley."

Lana grinned at the professor, finding the look on Charlie's face thoroughly amusing; a mixture of shame and disbelief…

"That roughly translates to: They're going to give you mountains of homework to ensure you're not sat on your lazy backside doing bugger all." Bill cut in whilst Ella nodded in agreement.

"I wouldn't be sat around!" Charlie protested, his ears tinged with red. "I'd be out on the pitch training for the match! Unless Professor McGonagall doesn't want us to win…" the end of the sentence became a question, and the Gryffindors turned to face McGonagall- each smirking unhelpfully.

"I'm sure you'll find time to train after teaching hours, Mr Weasley. Speaking of quidditch, the first match is in barely 30 days and you need to find 2 new chasers before then. Get on it."

"Yes Ma'am!" Charlie grinned, saluting the head of Gryffindor as usual when it came to talking quidditch.

"Oh, and I know it's hard to manage but please, please don't choose anyone else that is prone to nearly dying. I don't think the pitch could take it."

With that, the Professor carried on down the table handing out timetables. Lana sighed, stabbing her toast with a fork randomly.

"She has a point." she shrugged. "Now, let's go and see who this years Defence teacher is?" she suggested. Last Year's French professor Dupont had returned to Beauxbatons academy of magic to teach there again. Lana had the slightest feeling that it was something to do with the disaster that had been the end of the year. Beauxbatons must have looked wonderfully tame compared to Hogwarts.

…...

It didn't take long for the queue outside of the defence against the dark arts classroom to increase with the fifth year Gryffindor and Hufflepuffs, each student as curious as the next to find out who the new defence teacher would be. After all, they'd be guiding them through their OWL's; they'd have to be good.

When the bell rang at exactly 9 o'clock, as usual, the door to the classroom flung open and the students lined up at the door waited expectantly for any sort of invitation or appearance.

Lana's eyes met with Charlie's, twinkling amusedly as they waited and then suddenly: "Are you coming in or not?"

Lana's mouth dropped into a perfect 'O' shape, her eyes widening comically. Being the first in the queue, she and Charlie, Noah and Tonks hurried through the door and stared astonished at the man in front of them.

"You!" Lana heard Tonks gasp beside her, as the Gryffindors fell in line staring at their new professor.

"This is ridiculous. You're what, 21?" Noah cut in shaking his head in irritation. Lana continued to stare, perfectly aware that they were blocking the entrance to everyone else.

"Alright, alright. Sit down and shut up, then I'll explain."

Lana couldn't help but grin at the familiar man. He'd barely changed in the 3 years since she'd last seen him. His short blonde hair had been allowed to grow a little longer perhaps and he certainly looked different out of his quidditch robes, but still he instantly came across as the same old beater. Same old Crownley.

Lana dragged Charlie to their usual table and sat down, dumping her bag beside her as she eagerly waited for the others to take their seats.

After what seemed like hours, the shuffling of chairs finally ceased and Derrick Crownley turned to the class, half leaning on his desk at the front of the classroom.

"Good Morning Class. A few of you might recognize me," Lana suppressed a giggle, "I was a student here a few years back."

Lana heard a thump as Tonks kicked Noah's shins in the table behind them, after Noah had muttered something utterly unkind about skill in comparison to age.

"And you should all consider yourselves very lucky that you have me as a professor. Considering I only did my OWL's a few years ago, I know exactly how the system works. I know exactly what those tests are going to be like and I know exactly how you should best prepare. Then again, If you'd rather have a teacher who did their OWL's 50... 60 years ago and can barely remember how daunting the work load actually is… then by all means, run along to Dumbles." Crownley finished with a very significant look at Noah, but the Gryffindor merely wiped his glasses nonchalantly as if he couldn't care less.

"Any questions?" Crownley asked in his familiar, loud voice.

Lana raised her hand quickly, arching her brows curiously.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as Crownley looked at her resignedly. The Professor smirked, standing up straight and picking up a piece of chalk.

"Teaching." he replied, somewhat airily.

"Why?" Charlie inputted, his forehead creased.

"Work Experience."

"For what?"

"None of your business. Now, anything else?" Crownley asked, turning to the rest of the class. Lana raised a hand, her expression perfectly serious.

"Midge?" the new professor grinned, chucking the chalk at her skilfully. Lana snatched it out of the air and smirked coolly. Midge had been the first thing Crownley ever called her at the tryouts in her second year. Not 'Dumbledore's Granddaughter,' or anything else to do with the headmaster. Just midge. Well, she may have been small then compared to the towering seventh year but not any more.

"Are you as good as teaching as you are at Quidditch?" she enquired evenly, balancing the chalk on her finger adeptly. Crownley grinned and raised a hand to catch the chalk that Lana threw back at him.

Placing the chalk back down on the desk, Crownley smirked. "Why don't we find out?"

…...

As it happened, Crownley did put on a very effective show in his first hour of being a professor. At first he gave them all a very intimidating, borderline scarring, speech about the upcoming OWL's. Most of the class left the room feeling very apprehensive of future lessons, though the talk was not dissimilar to one of his old captain 'pep talks' so Lana, Charlie and Noah found it completely normal.

In the second half of the lesson, they'd gone over some of the most basic of spells and hadn't really gotten that much done. Too much laughing and messing to focus. Crownley was as formidable as ever: though he seemed to have calmed since leaving Hogwarts, Lana had a slight feeling that he was letting them off easy today. If his tactics were anything remotely similar to his quidditch training techniques, they were in for a rough year.

The lesson ended far too soon and the class were kicked out, the Gryffindors forced to attend Charms and the Hufflepuffs heading back to their common rooms. Most likely to begin work on the 10 inch essay Crownley had set them last minute. They had to write about the top 10 offensive and defensive spells they would use under attack and why. That was going to be a bundle of laughs to write. Lana would just have to think back to the countless occasions she'd been attacked.

Thankfully, Charms wasn't nearly as hectic as Defence had been. After the 40 minute speech from Professor Flitwick about the OWL's, they simply read a chapter from the text book and made notes on it.

Then it was break time which meant retreating to the Gryffindor tower to quickly pin up the advertisement for quidditch trails that Elena had scribbled for them during Charms. It wasn't anything like Amie would have done, or rather could have done. But it was bold and bright and would hopefully attract two new fantastic chasers before the 30th when they had their first match.

After break, Lana, Charlie and Noah left Tonks and Elena for Ancient Runes. The girls were lucky enough to have free periods: not like they'd get anything done. If Lana knew Tonks and Elena, which she did, they'd probably end up either asleep or caught up in gossip.

Ancient Runes, Lana's second worst subject, was beyond unbearable. Within the first 4 minutes of the lesson the charming Professor Babbling had already suggested that a certain few students would probably not be able to cope with the stress that this year would bring.

Lana rolled her eyes as the Professor rambled, looking directly at her. She wasn't exactly hiding that she thought it was Lana, was she? Lana turned away uninterested. She had a perfect excuse for failing her end of year exam and she couldn't care less if Babbling had lost all faith in her. God knows most others had done.

Eventually the lesson ended and Lana was able to escape to lunch.

"You're going to have to work exceptionally hard! This is no longer a matter of drawing pretty pictures!" Lana drawled in a perfect imitation of Babbling's manner, pointing her finger at Charlie crossly.

"Like it ever was!" Charlie replied humorously, taking Lana's waggling finger and wrapping his hand around it. "Come on, I'm starving." he added thoughtfully, ambling into the Great Hall with the hundred other hungry students.

Tonks and Elena were already sat at lunch, quickly joined by Noah, Bill, Ella, Lana and Charlie. "Ooh yum, pie!" Charlie muttered to himself as they sat, already plating up his lunch. Lana shook her head, bewildered. She'd never understand how one single person could eat so much. Though judging by the size of Tonks and Bill's plates as well- it was a fairly common thing.

"What have we got this afternoon?" Elena asked suddenly, waiting to see if they knew before deciding to pull her bag apart to find out.

"Double transfiguration." Noah replied instantly, as vigilant as ever. Sometimes Lana could barely recognize any of them compared to how they'd been in their first year: Elena had changed so much in personality; Tonks was so much more… well, capable at life; Noah had loosened up a little at least; Lana herself was completely different to the girl she'd been. Then at the same time, sometimes Lana could very well believe they were all completely the same. Noah still seemed to know everything all the time in a sort of lazy way. Tonks still couldn't go a day without tripping or breaking something. Elena still loved her make-up, magazines and music and Charlie… Well, Charlie was pretty much the same all around. Just taller.

"What's up?" Charlie asked quietly, nudging Lana back to reality with his elbow.

"We're getting old." Lana sighed, swivelling around on her seat to face her boyfriend.

Charlie laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "We're not that old!" he exclaimed, grinning madly. "Only you would class being 15 as being old."

Lana smiled weakly. The laughter around them faded into silence. Everyone had heard Charlie.

There was a moment of awkwardness as the eyes of Noah, Tonks, Bill and Elena met for brief seconds before flicking away again. Lana stared just over Charlie's shoulder, the ghost of a smile gracing her face. There was a very sombre truth in Charlie's words that had momentarily dazed the whole group. A simple joke had turned into an entirely depressing thought. How long did Lana have left in the word? Maybe 15 was the oldest she'd ever be? Would she live to see her 16th birthday?

"Well, _that _was a bit of a mood killer." Tonks piped up, rolling her eyes at Charlie.

"Tonks! Have some tact!" Noah hissed to the pink haired girl. She didn't seem to hear him.

"awkwaaaaaaard." she sang, tapping the table rhythmically.

Lana smiled again and picked up her knife and fork, hoping they could all just pretend that it had never happened. The others seemed to get the gist and conversation quickly picked up once more.

…...

OWL's, OWL's, OWL's.

All Lana's heard for the first 20 minutes of each lesson their first week back was OWL's. How hard they were going to be. How much effort would be needed to pass? How difficult it would be to cope. How each professor's subject was more important than the other subjects. It was ridiculous. When Friday came, the Gryffindors were more exhausted then they had been after a week of school in any previous year.

Fortunately, last period Lana had Care of Magical Creatures with Charlie which was as relaxing as ever. Professor Kettleburn was as lovely as ever and rather nice about the whole OWL's thing. He told them, in the nicest possible way, that OWL's could be tricky but as they were such a brainy group they'd have no problem in dealing with it.

Lana and Charlie left the lesson feeling very positive.

Though the feeling soon faded as they rushed to eat their dinner before the try-outs for the new chasers. It was bizarre that Ella, especially, was no longer on the team. She'd been there since before Lana had and whoever was going to take her place had a lot to beat.

Lana changed quickly into her flying robes and raced down to the pitch to meet Charlie, Noah, Art and Lucy. It was late summer still, so the air was hot and humid, even in the Scottish hills. In the middle of the pitch, a group of about 20 Gryffindors had shown up. Not a brilliant display, but the time and date of the tryouts hadn't been fantastically advertised so many would have missed it. Charlie appeared more optimistic than Lana, who mounted her broom with a grimace. It was essential they found 2 decent chasers as soon as possible and got them trained up in the next few weeks. It was entirely unlikely that those 2 perfect chasers would be stood in that small group of hopefuls.

Whilst Charlie, the captain of the team, explained the process to the potential new chasers- Lana circled the pitch so that the wind rushed with her broom and her hair flew back elegantly. She hadn't enjoyed flying so much in months. Through all of last year she'd been terrified of either dying or killing someone else, and she'd not mounted a broom once in the summer.

Now, back at Hogwarts, she rose high into the air and let go of her broomstick, gazing at the school grounds below her. From so high, it was easy to forget all the hassle and stress of school and just appreciate the beauty of the castle. Lana hovered on her broom for a few minutes, taking in the scene. It was a nice change than ended far too soon.

Lana spiralled steadily back down to flying levels and saw that the try outs had already commenced. Charlie and Art Bones, the only remaining chaser, seemed to be doing fine by themselves so Lana watched from a distance.

The boys had started off with the younger students, none of which seemed to be any good at all. Out of all 7 2nd and 3rd years, only 1 was decent enough to score 5 goals. The rest could barely manage 3.

Lana soon got bored of watching the students fail dramatically at hitting the quaffle into the hoops and flew off to the stands, searching for Tonks. Instead, the sleek blonde hair of Nott caught her eyes and Lana altered her course with an eyebrow arched.

"Spying Nott? I thought better of you." She called as she approached the slytherin, her face deadly serious. She hadn't fooled Nott who simply smirked the classic slytherin smirk and leaned over the railings to greet her.

Lana broke into a grin as she hovered opposite him, blocking the pitch from view. "Seriously? You can't have come for the entertainment? This is the dullest thing I've ever seen!"

"Now, now." Nott said airily, flicking hair from his eyes, "Just because I don't hate your guts anymore doesn't mean I won't enjoy seeing Gryffindor lose your precious quidditch cup this year."

Lana let out a low whistle, shaking her head and grinning madly. "Big words from the boy who's lost the cup 3 years in a row." she responded simply, eliciting a snort from Nott.

"Ha. Ha." Nott replied shortly, shaking his head. "Look at that pathetic bunch of weasels," He smirked callously, though his eyes still twinkled mischievously. Lana winced momentarily at the word, remembering the rare occasion in their first year that Nott had referred to Charlie as 'the Weasel.' She quickly brushed off any irritation from her face and listened carefully. "Do you honestly expect to find a decent pair of chasers from them?"

Lana wheeled around on her broom and observed the group of chasers who were now chucking quaffles to each other. One by one, each dropped the quaffle and then dived into the mud to retrieve it before Charlie noticed.

Lana frowned and bit her lip anxiously. In all honestly, she doubted anyone would ever be good enough to replace Bill and Ella. However, she smiled brightly as she turned back to face Nott and fluttered her eyelashes at him in a flirty, innocent way. "Everyone has a secret, hidden potential dear Calloway. We're going to uncover it in one of those players and beat your sorry arse at quidditch." All pretence was dropped as Lana hovered closer to Nott with an entirely menacing look in her eyes and a dangerous low tone to her voice. "I'll see you around." she added, returning to her sweet disposition.

With a final wink, Lana turned sharply and soared down to the pitch ground where Charlie, Noah and Lucy were stood watching the players flying. "How are they?" she asked upon touch down, attempting to read the boys faces but a sudden bout of dizziness overwhelmed her and she was forced to clench her eyes tight shut for a few moments.

"Awful." Charlie replied quietly, staring up into the cloudless sky as if trying to see through to heaven.

"Really. Really awful." Noah agreed darkly, shaking his head so that his curls bounced somewhat.

Lucy said nothing. Instead she wiped her face with her little hands and sighed heavily. "I might go back to school, you don't need me here do you?" the 4th year asked with a frown.

"Naah, you might as well go too Lana." Charlie told them, finally tearing his eyes away from the sky. "Godric knows how long we'll be at this." Charlie seemed so downhearted that Lana almost wanted to stay with him, but after a week of school she was completely exhausted and aching all over. She had a vial of pain killing potion in her drawers that was begging to be used.

The healers of St Mungos had told Lana that her recovery would be slow. Lana had refused their opinions completely. She demanded to herself that she'd get better by September, but that hadn't happened. She still ached. She still heard his voice in the darkness of the night. She still jumped at the simplest of surprises, her anxiety at an all time high.

So, as Lucy jumped onto Lana's back for a piggyback up to the school and Lana was momentarily forced to grasp Charlie's shoulder to overcome an overwhelming feeling of dizziness, Lana concluded that she wasn't quite better yet. But she was getting there.

"You okay?" Charlie asked softly, pressing a hand to her forehead as she wrapped her arms underneath Lucy's legs to support her.

Lana nodded and smiled up at Lucy before bounding out of the pitch, to the long road up to the castle. She was okay, and things were only getting better.

…...

The walk up to the school was long and hot, more so than usual. On the way, Lucy rambled on about school and teachers. Lana listened happily, enjoying listening to life from a trouble free perspective. It was only when Lucy started talking about Boys that Lana began attempting to change the subject. It was like listening to Ginny ask Molly how babies were made. It wasn't something Lana wanted to listen to. Lucy was so much like a little sister to Lana and the others; it was difficult to accept she was only a year younger than them. It was perfect acceptable that she'd be thinking about boys.

Thankfully, there awkward conversation was interrupted by a frantic Bill and Ella racing down the path with red faces and brooms in hand.

"Lana!" They both screamed simultaneously, waving frantically as they pelted towards Lana and Lucy. For a moment, Lana was absolutely terrified that they weren't going to stop in time but they did and panted heavily before they could continue speaking.

"Lana! We've changed our minds! We want to stay on the team!" Bill wheezed out, fumbling to tie his long red hair up in a bobble.

"Yeah! Who cares about NEWT's?" Ella agreed, her face split. Her eyes were wide in terror, as if they were going to be cast away or told no. Her mouth was curved into a grin.

"Why are you wasting time telling me?!" Lana asked, beaming happily. Thank goodness they wouldn't have to make do with bad quality players. "Go on! Find Charlie before he appoints someone else!" she yelled, pushing past Bill and Ella who began running once again.

"Oh, that's brilliant!" Lucy squealed in glee, clapping her hands together. "I swear if Charlie gave the place to Jimmy I would just die of embarrassment!" the subject once again turned to boys and Lana cringed, focusing on the floor as she carried the fourth year up to the school.

As she walked on, Lana became more and more aware of a pain in her head growing more and more. It wasn't exactly a headache, it was just weird. Weird and painful. It was difficult enough to breathe in the hot sunshine, but this made it even harder.

"Lucy," Lana interrupted, taking a short breath quickly, "You're going to have to walk the rest of the way."

Lucy slipped down onto the ground without complaint and frowned in worry, standing at Lana's side. "Are you alright?" she asked concernedly.

"Of course, when aren't I?" Lana smiled briefly and picked up a quick pace to the school with Lucy trailing behind. The younger girl didn't reply.

As they approached the castle, Lana began to see the outlines of the world blurring steadily in the heat of the sun. She just had to make it to the shade and stop to catch her breath, and then she could manage. Unfortunately, yet another obstacle blocked their way.

"Midge! Who's this? New Chaser?" Professor Crownley asked loudly, appearing a short way up the path carrying his own broom over his shoulder.

"No. This is Lucy, she was your replacement!" Lana called to him as he strode towards them, she grinned in delight. "You got replaced by a 13 year old girl, and I swear she is as good- if not better- than you!" she added, reaching for Lucy's hand and squeezing it tightly. It felt good to stop walking, but the sun was glaring down on them like an angry Professor Snape.

"Good for her!" Crownley grinned, stopping in front of them. "Good for you, Lucy. If you're interested in continuing Quidditch as a career, get in touch when you leave school."

"Crownley! She's only 14!" Lana exclaimed, grinning wildly.

"That's Professor Crownley to you, Midget." Crownley corrected promptly, smirking as ever.

Lana rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, partly to stop herself from wobbling unsteadily. "That's Miss Dumbledore to you." she retorted soundly, it would have been a perfect imitation of McGonagall had her voice not wobbled unsteadily.

Crownley laughed and Lana's hands slipped from her hips, suddenly limp as if she'd been laughing too much, which she hadn't, and had lost control of her muscles.

"I-"

Too late. Lana's knees buckled beneath her and she collapsed to the grass, her head splitting in pain.

"Lana!"

"I'm fi-"

Lana squeezed her eyes tight shut. She was vaguely aware that there was shouting around her, but the worlds blurred together and faded away. There was a different voice, directly in her ear that she was far more concerned about. It was definitely Lewis, but his whispering was distorted and didn't make sense. Snippets of conversations and random, haunting words that echoed in Lana's head.

It seemed like it would never end. Though eventually, Lana managed to block the whispering out and it softened into nothing more than a dull ache in the back of her head.

Her eyes remained shut as she breathed slowly, in and out. That had been bizarre and painful, and Lana wanted nothing more than to never hear Lewis's voice again.

"Professor Crownley? Miss Williams?"

Oh great, Lana thought glumly as McGonagall arrived on the scene. It was obvious that McGonagall spotted Lana as she gasped loudly, quickly followed by: "oh, not again."

"What happened?" the head of Gryffindor asked, concern evident in her tone. Lana could imagine her thin face full of worry and had the urge to fling herself off a cliff. She was so awful for putting them all through this. It would be better for all if they just rolled in into a corner and waited for her to get up alone. Still, that didn't seem likely.

"I'm fine, really." Lana said forcefully, though she made no effort to move. The sun continued to bear down on her face which she could do little to prevent.

"You shut up." Crownley instructed and Lana did the only thing she could do to show her irritation with the professor. Flare her nostrils. Crownley continued on. "I'm not sure Professor McGonagall. One minute she was joking, the next she just collapsed."

Lana lay still on the floor, half a mind to hit Crownley to death. If only she didn't feel like vomiting repeatedly on the floor. She swallowed with some difficulty at her vertical angle and focused on breathing steadily.

"No. She didn't feel well. She said she was fine. Professor, she carried me up from the pitch." Lucy informed them in rapid procession, sounding dreadfully guilty. Lana's heart ached for Lucy, and once again she was overcome with the urge to beat their new defence teacher into the dirt for causing all this stress. After a moments thought, she realized it was actually her fault.

"Professor McGonagall, please listen to me." Lana pleaded on the floor, "I'm fine. I just need to cool down. It was too hot, is all." There. Rational, simple and straightforward. McGonagall had to believe her or she'd throw the biggest paddy than any professor of Hogwarts School had ever seen.

A moments silence passed in which Lana suspected the 2 professors were silently conversing. And then,

"Very well Lana. Professor Crownley, if you could kindly carry Miss Dumbledore into the entrance hall."

Lana groaned inwardly as she was lifted, Godric knows Crownley had lifted her a thousand times before. How many times during practices had she fallen from her broom, fainted, slipped or crashed in an attempt to knock the bludger away? Lana told herself, firmly, that just because Crownley was now a teacher it was no different.

Still… she was being carried by a teacher… weird.

Lana was unbelievably annoyed. That useless body of hers. Could it not go a month without breaking down like a muggle machine in a magical village?

It was obvious that they had entered the school as the temperature dropped dramatically and the air was crisp and cold. Lana was set down on the stone floor and finally cracked her eyes open, pleased to be out of the bright sun. "See." she smiled brightly. "I said I was fine. All you ever do is fuss."

"It's force of habit when you're friends with a girl who has a death wish." Lucy quipped, kneeling beside Lana carefully. Lana's eyes flicked to McGonagall's slowly. A death wish? Never. McGonagall blinked at her once.

"Death wish? Naah, I just attract trouble." Lana grinned, rustling Lucy's hair cheekily. Lucy stuck her tongue out as she hurried to fix her hair. Deep down, Lana doubted whether Lucy was actually oblivious to the way they all treated her (like a young child instead of a teenage girl) or whether she just chose to ignore it to remain happy.

Well, ignorance is bliss, Lana thought resignedly.

"Lana?" oh great, more attention. Charlie appeared at the door, broom in hand. Behind him stood Art, Noah, Bill, Ella and Tonks who were all craning their necks to see over Charlie's shoulder. Save for Bill who was tall enough alone.

"Miss Dumbledore fell ill, Mr Weasley. Luckily Professor Crownley and Miss Williams here were there to help her." Charlie's eyes took in the scene and he nodded once to Crownley, in thanks. Crownley nodded back and Lana rolled her eyes grumpily.

"I'm fine!" She protested loudly, praying that at least Charlie would believe her. He had too. He loved her, right?

"You always are." Charlie grinned, striding over to them. He extended a hand which Lana took, gladly. After a moment of wobbling, she found her balance and smiled happily at her professors. "See? Perfect. Thank you anyway."

Her gratefulness was greeted by two stern glares from Lucy and McGonagall, and one amused grin from Crownley. Lana grinned back, curtseyed and with Charlie she walked away. As fast as possible.

Glancing back over her shoulder, Lana saw the small cluster of students who had been watching them from the entrance to the Great Hall. _Great_, she thought bitterly, _another week of gossip. _As the Gryffindor turned the corner, onto a blessedly deserted corridor, Charlie's hand slipped around Lana's waist to support her and Lana allowed a frown of pain onto her face.

Charlie smiled sadly at her, his chocolate eyes twinkling. "Do you want the hospital wing? Or just bed?" He asked quietly, his eyes never once leaving her own.

Lana exhaled slowly, her eyes drifting shut for a fraction of a second. "Just bed, Charlie. I just got too tired." That wasn't strictly true. Lana wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her. Maybe she was too tired.

"Alright. If you insist."


	5. Potions and Pity

Chapter 5 - Potions and Pity

As Lana had suspected, by the time she'd woken up the following morning everyone in the school knew about her 'incident' the day before. Lana kept her head down during breakfast. There was little she could do to stop them talking. It certainly wouldn't help if she were to stand on a chair and scream at them all to shut up, as she felt like doing.

It was only the first Saturday back and they already had a heap of homework to do over the weekend. Nobody was looking forward to getting it done, but the faster they did- the faster they could relax.

Which was why they were all awake at 7 in the morning, to get a good breakfast before attempting to begin all their essays. Lana expected to finish her work for Lunch time, after that they could spend all day relaxing. Now, that was something she was looking forwards to. Her whole body ached after their first week back, and Lana rather suspected she was having a few of the 'bad days' that Healer Payton had told her about when she went for her appointment with him during the summer.

In that case, it couldn't be helped and it wasn't anything that anyone, including Lana, had done. It was just her body being useless, like always, and crumbling under pressure.

Lana stabbed a sausage with her fork angrily, sending it flying across her plate.

"Somebody take the cutlery away from Lana?" Tonks groaned, ever an avid morning person. The metamorphmagus promptly slumped in her seat and propped her chin up on the table, her eyes drooping. "I don't care anymore. Who needs an education? I'll just live in a box."

"Dora. It's only a few hours homework." Noah said sternly, pulling his girlfriend back into sitting position. "You can sleep later."

"Mergh. I hate you." Tonks replied, obviously kidding. Noah's eyes narrowed all the same as he glared at her.

_Trouble in paradise?_

Lana dropped her fork with a clatter, suddenly beyond pale. Voices merged together but all she could here was the one that she wished she'd never heard. It echoed in her head as if Lewis was stood right beside her, whispering it over and over in her ear. Finally it faded out and Lana felt Charlie's hand on her back, keeping her upright. It was just like the incident at the quidditch trails, except a hundred times more vivid.

Her head turned sharply and the hall came back into focus, the noise of a hundred students filling the silence in her head. "I-"

Charlie cut her off quickly, rubbing her back in small circles. "It's alright." he told her quietly, "are you okay?" he asked, for what felt like the thousandth time that morning.

"I don't know." Lana replied quickly, truly baffled. Because she truly didn't know. She felt well and relatively healthy, if a little tired. Yet she felt sick. Sickened by herself. By her own broken mind. She was shivering. But she wasn't cold.

_I'm scared._

Oh, how she longed to say it out loud. To confess that she was scared, if not by Lewis then by herself. By everything that had happened to her, everything that was happening to her and everything that was going to happen to her.

"Charlie, she looks really pale." Bill said in a low voice, but Lana still heard him.

"Oh well done, genius." Tonks snapped. "We can see that." she added firmly, exhaling. Lana wanted to tell Tonks off for being so rude, but she couldn't find the heart.

"Be quiet Tonks, or go get Madam Pompfrey."

"Charlie, I feel fine. I just heard… never mind." It was too late. Both Tonks and Noah had already raced from the Gryffindor table to the teachers table where Poppy sat, talking amiably to McGonagall.

"Heard what? Him?" Charlie asked darkly, his eyes stone. "You're not getting out this time Lana. Not after what happened yesterday!"

Lana sighed in acceptance. It was an odd coincidence, certainly.

"Could be worse…" Elena mused aloud, "She could just be vomiting all over us."

"It's a small blessing, Miss Shepherd." Madam Pompfrey smiled, arriving at the table. The older woman waited until Tonks and Noah had sat back down, before stepping closer to Lana and kneeling beside her seat.

Her voice lowered to a hushed tone, so that only Lana could hear her. Charlie may have been looking over her shoulder, but the words came so fast that Lana doubted he heard.

"Bad day?" Poppy asked simply, concern written into her every feature as she watched Lana carefully.

Lana nodded. What was she meant to say? _Well, yes actually Poppy. It's been months since Lewis left but apparently I can't go a day without hearing his stupid voice again._

Lana held her tongue.

"Perhaps you should accompany me back to the Hospital Wing?" Poppy suggested, her voice still soft and caring. Lana felt a strange sense of Déjà vu, as if she'd heard the words a thousand times before.

She nodded again, unable to find the will to protest. As they stood, every single student in the Hall seemed to look in their direction and for the first time, Lana couldn't care less. Let them talk, she thought tiredly. Well, she'd do the same in their place.

…...

An hour later, Lana found herself sat in her usual bed in the infirmary with Charlie on her left and McGonagall on her right. At the end of her bed, Poppy was stood with Healer Payton, who had been called from Mungo's, looking over a clipboard.

"It's been getting better," Lana told them uncertainly. "I still have nightmares, but it hasn't been that … vivid for weeks." She added with a shudder. His voice had been so vivid she thought it was real. She'd half expected to see him stood by her shoulder.

"That's to be expected Miss Dumbledore. Remember? Good days and bad days." Payton murmured, jotting something down on his clipboard. "Professor McGonagall told me that you collapsed yesterday; can you tell me what happened there?"

Lana folded her arms and huffed, holding herself back from glaring at the professor. "That was nothing, really." she told him earnestly. "I was coming back from the quidditch pitch, I got too hot and I just went a bit weak. I was tired; it's been a long week."

Payton nodded, continuing to scribble on his board without looking up.

Lana subconsciously reached for Charlie's hand and took a deep breath. She felt fine now. Perfectly well, if a little shaken. So why had Poppy called for Payton?

"Right." Payton said finally, looking up. "I think bed rest this weekend and see how you feel Monday morning. Be careful not to overtire yourself. I'm sure Mr Weasley can make sure you're well. What's most important is to tell someone, anyone, if you feel like you're going to pass out."

Lana nodded solemnly. Charlie squeezed her hand softly. The small act cheered her up the tiniest bit.

"What we don't want is for you to run off alone and pass out in some deserted corridor, alright? I've heard you've done that before." Payton smiled a little and Lana cringed, remembering the last incidence.

_Sprawled out in the corridor. Lucy's frightened voice. The hum of the school as students walked to their next class. Pain. McGonagall. Charlie. Lucy. _

"Thank you for coming out, Healer." Poppy was telling Payton kindly, attaching the clipboard back to Lana's bed.

"Not at all," Payton told them kindly. He turned to McGonagall and his face became a fraction more serious. Lana noticed and held Charlie's hand tighter. "Could I talk to you outside?"

Poppy, Payton and McGonagall left the make-shift room to just behind the curtains, leaving Lana and Charlie feeling very concerned. They could hear the muffled voice of McGonagall and curiosity over came Lana. If they were talking about her, then she had a right to know what it was.

She crept out of bed, Charlie hot on her tail, and listened to the conversation through the curtains.

"Clearly she feels fine. She's stubborn, but she's honest when it comes down to it." McGonagall said firmly, her voice almost pleading. Lana leaned into Charlie and he wrapped his arms around her lovingly.

They heard Payton sigh heavily, "I think that's a defence mechanism Professor. You can tell she's unwell by looking at her. Her mind had created a small, safe pocket. Lana focuses on that and believes she is well. But it's weak and she can't sustain it for very long periods of time. That's why she's having nightmares. By Friday she was probably mentally and physically exhausted and couldn't keep it going any longer."

Lana blinked furiously. It sounded as if Payton thought she was crazy. She wasn't crazy.

"The walls of Lana's mind are weak. Incredibly weak after last year. They can never be rebuilt."

"What about occlumency?" Poppy asked softly, so soft that Lana almost missed it. Why couldn't they just tell her to her face? What good was this doing? Keeping everything from her?

"She already knows it. It's clearly not helped." McGonagall inputted sadly.

"It wouldn't. No-one has ever studied the mind beyond infiltration and protection. In Lana's case, it's been completely de-stabilized. She'll be experiencing these… bad days, for the rest of her life."

Lana caught a choke in her throat and tightened her grip on Charlie's hand. Forever? That was a long time. Well, unless she died any time soon.

"Is there nothing we can do?" Poppy asked gently.

There was a silence, in which Lana assumed Payton was shaking his head.

"Would she do better out of school? If she recuperated at Mungo's for a few weeks?" McGonagall asked, her voice as serious as ever. It almost gave Lana a little hope, not that she wanted to be out of school.

"Perhaps. Out of school she would be cared for 24/7. But she would be bored, alone. It would do nothing to help her, really. In school she'll be with her friends."

Lana tilted her head up to look at Charlie and bit her lip anxiously. "Rest of my life, eh? _Wonderful_."

"Lana-"

"You know, I know I'm living with a death sentence over my head." she spoke to herself more than anyone else. "But I don't want to live the rest of my life hearing his voice. I'll go insane."

"It'll get better, Lana. And you've not got a death penalty… we'll have years yet, you watch." Charlie spoke up. His voice was soft, but full of force.

Lana couldn't even bring herself to look at him anymore.

…...

Unfortunately, Lana was forced to spend the rest of the weekend in the hospital. After taking a large dose of dreamless sleep potion, she was out of it until Sunday. When she woke, Charlie had left her and had been replaced with Nott.

Drowsiness subsiding, Lana groaned into her pillow and waited for her eyes to adjust to the light.

"Morning sunshine." Nott smirked, propping her pillows up under her head. The slytherin offered her an arm to help her sit up, which she took gladly.

"Mornin'." she replied thickly and took the goblet of water he offered her, sipping it slowly. She was still surprised when Nott was nice to her, but said nothing.

"Thanks." she mumbled, placing the goblet back on her beside table next to the jug of water. "How is everyone? How are you?" she asked uncertainly. She hoped they'd done their homework like they were going to.

"I'm fine. Weasley's not left your side all weekend. McGonagall came the morning and forced him to go and eat. Tonks and Diggory don't know what's going on with you, but they say they're used to it and you'll tell them eventually. Everyone else just thinks you have a cold or something."

"Right." Lana muttered thoughtfully, "and how much do you know." She added.

Nott snorted, sitting back down in his chair. "Nothing. But I assume it has something to do with last year."

Lana sighed, leaning back into her pillows with a fresh pang of hurt. Everything she'd heard the day before came back to her and it was like hearing it for the first time again. "How are you Nott? Surely you're still recovering? I got his with the same curse and I am."

Nott looked thoughtful, observing Lana's frowning face carefully. "I suppose I am." He relented. "But it's been easier for me to recover. I didn't escape Mungo's weeks early like you did. I took my medication on time and was fussed over for a whole summer. You went out gallivanting and wore yourself out. I don't even need pain relief anymore. Everything's easy to deal with."

"Well great." Lana huffed, folding her arms. "You're meant to say: _Yes Lana! I'm in agony! You're doing so well! You're such a strong person_!" She added, her voice bitter and sarcastic.

"That would be lying." Nott replied simply, shrugging. Lana resisted the urge to hit him with a pillow repeatedly. "Look in a mirror woman, you look like a vampire."

Lana grabbed her pillow and chucked it at the slytherin, guiltlessly. He raised his hand to block it but it still whacked his face harshly.

"It's a good job you're not a beater." Lana muttered, propping her head up with her hand. Why was life so unfair? Everything was getting… should have been getting better. Everyone else was happy and safe. Why did Lana choose now to go crazy?

"Hey!" Nott protested, grinning all the same. "Don't worry, you'll live."

Lana nodded softly. "Of course." she smiled.

…...

By Wednesday, Lana was sure she had gotten over her rough patch and life returned to normal. Well, as normal as it could be for a girl walking around with a death sentence hanging over her head.

Tonks, Noah and the others were never told what actually happened to Lana. Nor were they told about the conversation that Lana and Charlie had shared. Lana point blank refused to talk about it, even when she was alone with Charlie.

"No." Lana had told Charlie, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "There's no point Charlie. Nothing to say other than I love you, but you already know that."

Charlie gave up eventually.

September picked up a steady pace and thankfully, the air began to retain the cold chill of the night, through the day. As the month went on, it only got colder and by the 30th, winter cloaks were out and being worn.

Especially as the 30th was the day of the match. Gryffindor Vs. Ravenclaw. Nobody wanted to be stood out in the wind without a decent cloak. Hell, Lana half wished she could just stay in the Gryffindor tower in front of the fire with a good book. Unfortunately, she couldn't just get out of a game that she was meant to be playing in.

Besides, she felt perfectly healthy so there was no excuse.

Lana sat in the changing rooms playing snap with Lucy whilst they awaited their entrance. She wore her usual quidditch robes and boots, her gloves and about three more layers underneath them. Well, it was cold.

Her bat was ready. Her broom was ready. She was ready. Had been for an hour. They'd come down early to go over the game plan, but nothing had changed. They were sure to win. As always.

As long as Lana didn't kill herself.

Finally, they lined up at the exit and awaited Tonks shouts.

The Ravenclaw team were already on the pitch, judging by the screams of students. It didn't take long for the noise to subdue and the Gryffindors put their brooms into position.

"And now! The wonderful, the fabulous, the unbeatable- Gryffindors!" Tonks yelled, her voice travelling across the entire pitch. "Chasers- Bill Weasley, Art Bones and long standing Ella Yates!"

The chasers kicked off, spiralling into the air to a cacophony of cheers and screams. The support of the students of Hogwarts was incredible as ever as they stood in the misty rain, clapping wildly for their teams.

"The incredibly hot and rather intelligent Seeker, Noah Diggory!" Noah sent a smirk at Charlie before he kicked off. Lana giggled as they heard McGonagall telling Tonks off, not that she seemed to mind much.

"The completely awesome twosome! The Beaters: Lana Dumbledore and Lucy Williams!"

Lana kicked off hard, leaving the comfort of shelter for the cruel, wet winds. Vision was poor, despite the fact that the sky was bright and grey. Despite this, Lana could still clearly see Tonks wearing the cloak that Lana had given her for her birthday. The commentator waved at Lana brightly and almost dropped her wand, resulting in a shriek of fright to echo across the pitch.

"Oops! Sorry guys!" She called quickly, brushing her hands on her jeans. "Right, where was I? Oh yeah- And the captain and Keeper- Charlie Weasley!"

Charlie appeared out of the changing rooms, laughing easily. Lana watched him from a distance, a sad smile creeping onto her face. She hadn't seen him laugh so freely in weeks. It was wonderful that quidditch could fill him with such joy.

Maybe… after she was gone, he'd find comfort in the sport that they both loved.

Lana realized she was being distracted by her own pessimism. She began spiralling the pitch with Lucy, hoping that they came across as menacing and brutal beaters. In reality, they probably just looked like two very cold, very wet Gryffindor girls- flying in circles to get warm.

"And the game has begun!" Lana and Lucy jumped, that had been rather quick. They nodded at each other and separated, Lucy diving up and Lana diving down.

They had decided that whilst it would be more appropriate to defend their team instead of attacking the other, it was a lot more fun to attack the other team and got the game over faster.

Lucy quickly intercepted a bludger and knocked it across the pitch at an alarming pace. It hit the Ravenclaw keeper's shoulder, but despite a wince he chose to carry on playing. Lana could only guess his shoulder was dislocated, but he showed no sign of pain.

There was no time to reflect on the first collision any longer and Lana set off into the wind once more, her teeth chattering already. There!

She swung her bat in the air and hit it towards a blur of blue, hitting the player right between the shoulder blades. His yell of pain was louder than Tonks's commentary and everyone looked towards them, seeing Lana's bat raised and a Ravenclaw, quickly descending the sky to get help.

"Bones to Yates and she SCORES!" Tonks screamed, drawing all attention back to the game. "That's Gryffindor into an early lead. Ravenclaw have lost one player and injured another. This is going to be even harder for them now!"

Lana gritted her teeth and chased after the bludger as it tore past her towards Noah. Lucy got there first and batted it into the sky, far from view. Noah thanked them as he shot past, heading for the familiar golden ball which rarely showed up so early in the match.

"Diggory looks like he's seen the snitch!" Tonks squealed into the stands, clapping her hands together resulting in a loud snap, sounding like thunder, to shock the crowds. "Yes! He has! Wilson hasn't! Oh god, Yates Scores again!"

Lana hit a nearby bludger at the Ravenclaw seeker as he chased after Noah and knocked him swiftly from his broom. It wasn't a pretty sight as he landed, but they weren't that high up. He only twisted his leg.

Lana cringed, called down her apologies and then flew off in search of another bludger.

"Ravenclaw Chasers have the Quaffle! Hope to King. King passes it back! WEASLEY INTERCEPTS!" A seemingly unending cheer sounded through the stands. "WEASLEY TO WEASLEY. YATES TAKES IT. YATES TO BONES! GOAL!" Tonks screamed in excitement, clapping once more. She received a few boos for her carelessness, but most were too busy cheering to care.

Lana wove through the air, frowning as she searched for her fellow Gryffindors. "OI, Lana!" Lana spun in the air and her eyes sought Noah, who clutched a fluttering golden ball in his long fingers.

Lana grinned, about to congratulate him when he interrupted her. "Would you go and tell Dora. I need to see Pompfrey; the Ravenclaws smacked the quaffle at me." Noah didn't seem offended or too badly hurt. Lana nodded quickly and raced towards the teacher's stand where Tonks was and grinned upon approach.

"Nymph! It's over! Noah's got the snitch!" She informed the staff and her best friend, swinging her bat loosely in her hand.

"Really?! Where is he?" Tonks asked, her pixie face lighting up in a beam.

"He's gone to see Poppy," Lana's eyes flicked up, suddenly aware that Dumbledore had come to watch the game. "He got hit by the quaffle."

"He what?" Tonks asked sharply, her eyes narrowing. "You better fly away you Ravenclaw gits, or ELSE I'M GOING TO HURT YOU!" She screamed, her anger resonating throughout the pitch. Lana recoiled, nearly slipping off the broom.

"Tonks! Don't do that!" she told the girl who's hair was flaming red in anger.

"Oops. Sorry." Tonks giggled. "Anyway." she stated, addressing the crowd once more. "GRYFFINDOR WINS 210:30." Her statement was responded to with a triumphant roar from the Gryffindors and a tide of boos from the Ravenclaws and probably a few Slytherins as well.

Lana grinned and span around, eager to get out of the cold. They had taken a very early lead, already 80 points ahead of the other houses. If that isn't cause for celebration, Lana thought as she touched down beside Charlie and grinned freely, I don't know what is.

…...

October arrived with a seemingly endless bout of rain. It lashed at the Scottish castle all day and all night, deeming any outdoor lessons cancelled indefinitely. The Gryffindors were the only house to even attempt quidditch practice, but after Lucy got swept away from the wind and landed in a tree, a mile in the forbidden forest, even that was called off.

Without Quidditch, Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology to attend, most students were left with several free hours in which to laze around their common rooms. Lana and the rest of the sixth years were forced to get their homework done and revise independently, in preparation for their exams.

Unfortunately, normal lessons were still running and every Wednesday afternoon, they were forced to make their way to the dungeons for double Potions with the ever optimistic Snape.

After his completely out of character kindness of the year before, Snape was rapidly slipping back into his old self. On several occasions, Lana had to remind herself not to curse him where he stood simply because she felt somewhat indebted to him.

However, as he strode past her table and insulted her draught of peace for the 8th time that lesson, she had an urge to drop any restraints and strangle his bony neck.

"Is that pale yellow, Dumbledore? I think not." he smirked coolly, sneering at the failure of a potion.

Lana clenched her spoon tightly, in the hopes that it would stop her hands from becoming fists. "Is anyone's, Professor? Either the instructions in the book are wrong, or you're such an awful teacher that you don't even know what colour the potion is meant to be."

After a twinge of regret, Lana gritted her teeth and awaited her punishment. It was her own fault for retaliating. She should have just ignored him.

"Perhaps," Snape said coldly, "You should write to the publishers and ask them." Then the head of slytherin turned on his heel and swept over to his precious Slytherins, no doubt to see the abominations that they had created.

Lana exhaled slowly, her eyes widening as Charlie shuffled over to her table. "What's up with him?" the redhead asked quietly, eying Snape's back as if the professor had some disease.

"Mr Weasley, I do hope that when I turn around you are stood at your _own _desk."

Charlie smiled at Lana and then scampered quickly back t his own desk. Lana giggled, resulting in Snape turning around with an eyebrow arched.

"Anything wrong, Sir?" she asked him, suppressing a bout of laughter.

Snape didn't even bother to answer her. "5 points from Gryffindor." He spat, glaring at her lucidly.

Then, somehow, Lana was reliving an evening she'd been repressing since it happened.

_The pain was unbearable, and as every second passed Lana knew she was getting closer and closer to passing out. She couldn't take it anymore. It was like a thousand knifes hacking at her skin._

Lana reached forwards, her fingernails hooking onto her desk to stop herself from falling.

_Screaming endlessly till her throat was raw and her lungs were empty, but no sound was heard. The agony of a curse that couldn't be thrown off. The silent torture. _

_The sneering face of Lewis, his eyes twinkling in the dark as screams finally filled the night air._

_"See you next time, Dumbledore." _

_Lana shuddering on the cold stone floor._

"Lana? Lana!?" Was it Charlie? No, Noah? Lana winced, struggling to work out who was talking.

_Seconds passing like hours, pain drawing each tick of the clock out. The useless attempt to regain any sort of control. Muscle tremors and her shaking legs. _

_The head of Slytherin, peering down at Lana suspiciously… "Did anyone ever tell you you're an exceptionally loud screamer?" _

"I assure you, Mr Weasley, she certainly won't appreciate you fussing over her." Snape's unmistakable draw.

"Sorry mate, he's got a point." no, Lana thought with a frown, that was definitely Noah.

"Right. Sure. Well, when Tonks starts having freaking fits of fainting and screaming, then you can ignore her! I think I can do what I like!" Charlie didn't sound happy at all. In fact, he sounded completely panicky.

"10 points from Gryffindor. I suggest you calm down, Mr Weasley or it will become a detention."

There was a moment of silence. Lana could only imagine the extensive glaring contest the three men were sharing.

"Oh would you all pack it in." Tonks cut in sharply, sounding utterly serious. "It's completely pathetic. Snape, you're a potions teacher. Either find something useful that might actually help her or go away, because I'm very certain that when she wakes up she won't want to see your face first thing."

Lana could have squealed in delight.

"Miss Tonks, I don't know who you think you-"

To add insult to injury, Tonks then cut the professor off in her sternest tone. "Apparently, I'm the only mature person in this room. Give me as many detentions as you like, see if I care. Just do it later, I happen to be rather busy right now."

"Noah. Go and fetch Madam Pompfrey. Charlie, get a grip." Tonks instructed.

"Shuddup, all of you." Lana finally spoke up, blinking he eyes open. The dungeons were unnaturally loud as the class fell into disarray after what must have been a dramatic scene.

"Lana! Oh thank god."

"Charlie, she's not exactly dying is she. She only fainted." Tonks rolled her eyes, winking at Lana.

There was a silence in which Lana swallowed and forced a smile at Charlie. His face remained set in stone: a mixture of worry and guilt.

Tonks's sea blue eyes flicked between her friends, her amused expression sinking into confusion. "Lana? What's going on?"

Noah quickly caught on. He'd been hovering by the door, unsure of whether or not to leave. Now he shut the door and walked back over to them, standing behind Elena to listen in.

Lana kept smiling, praying it was mildly convincing. "Nothings going on. Don't be silly."

"I'm not being silly." Tonks defended sharply. "You shared a look. I said you weren't dying… and you looked at each other."

"You're being ridiculous Dora. There was no 'look.'"

Tonks didn't seem convinced, but thankfully was distracted by the school bell. The class didn't seem too eager to hang around, which made a pleasant change, and packed away quickly leaving the Gryffindors to talk.

Snape lingered by his desk, but after a stern look from Tonks he huffed and swept from the room- much to Lana's delight.

"I love you Nymph." She grinned, clambering off the cold floor and brushing her hands off on her cloak.

"You're not getting out of it that quick." Tonks snapped, shaking her head. "Tell me what's going on."

Elena and Noah agreed thoroughly, nodding rapidly.

"No. Just accept it, all of you!" Lana told them angrily, stuffing her work into her bag. "There is NOTHING to say." Her tone couldn't get any clearer. She couldn't have made it any more obvious that she wasn't going to say.

Charlie rolled off his knees and leant against her desk on the floor, resting his arms on his knees. "Why don't you just tell them. Tell them the truth or they'll think it's worse than it is." his voice was dark and hopeless. If it weren't for the anger Lana felt at his prolonging of their conversation, she would have cried at the mere sound.

"I told you! There is nothing I can say!" Lana near yelled, slamming her bag back down on the table with a loud thump. "What would YOU say Charlie? If it were you, what could you say to stop the pain? Because I can't think of anything!" unable to restrain herself, tears began flowing from the forest green orbs of Lana's eyes.

"They deserve to know Lana." Charlie didn't look at her; he stared at the wall opposite him with dull, saddening eyes.

Tonks, Noah and Elena stepped away from the arguing couple. They stood in a line by the wall, watching worriedly. None had a clue what was going on but they could tell it was bad. Anyone could tell it was bad.

"NEVER. Do you think I want this? Do you think I planned for this to happen! I'm not doing this for fun Charlie; you are NOT the victim here!"

"NO? WELL WHO'S HAS TO STAND BY AND WATCH YOU SCREAM AND KNOW THAT THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP? WHO'S GOING TO BE THE ONE LEFT WHEN YOU'RE GONE?" Charlie's bellowing left Lana feeling dead inside.

"EVERYONE." Lana screamed back, "EVERYONE IN THE GODDAMN WORLD. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ALONE."

"You don't understand, do you?" Charlie spat, standing up and facing Lana with tears in his deep brown eyes. "When you're gone, nothing else will matter. I can't imagine life without you. I _don't _want you to die."

Tonks and Elena gasped in unison, clapping hands to their mouths. Noah simply frowned, stepping forwards. "We already know about the curse. I don't understand."

Lana grabbed her bag swiftly, pushing past Charlie. "Now look what you've done." She said quietly, her voice overwhelmingly bitter. "You can tell them." she added darkly and stormed from the room.

…...

Lana returned straight to the girl's dorm, not hungry for dinner. Besides, the whole school was probably alive with talk of her 'fit' in potions. Whilst she had some time to herself, she showered and climbed straight into bed- pulling her curtains around her in case Tonks and Elena returned.

It wasn't fair. She had every right to be upset, especially with Charlie. She was the one that was suffering. She was the one with the 'destabilized mind' if anyone had a right to breakdown crying, it was her! Not Charlie!

Then again… he looked so sad. So frail. Was that what she looked like to him when she was upset? He'd coped so well when his uncles had died. When Amie had died. When they first realized Lana was going to die young.

But they're been young then. Barely 11 years old. They couldn't have possibly understood what it actually meant. They didn't realize what would actually happen. How could Lana have known she was going to fall in love with her best friend? How could she have known she wouldn't get to grow up with him? To become of age with him and move in with him. To move away with him and marry him.

At 11 years old, none of that had mattered. Because the end was years away and there was a possibility of salvation.

Lana pulled a chain from her neck and the pendant attached to it fell into her hand, warm from the contact with her skin. It was the necklace Charlie had given her years ago. Did he even realize she still wore it?

Lana blinked tears from her eyes and dropped the pendant once again.

She could accept death. Even welcome it. But she wouldn't leave Charlie behind until he was ready to let her go. She simply couldn't.

She would never be able to forgive herself for one thing. Neither, she doubted, would anyone else.

Lana started as her curtains were pulled open furiously and Tonks appeared by her bedside, looking completely livid and yet completely distraught. Her hair was plain and dull, her eyes flat and brown.

The metamorphmagus took one look at Lana's puffy, red eyes and her eyes drooped- all her anger washing away. Without a word, Tonks dropped onto Lana's bed beside her and hugged her tightly. Lana was beyond grateful for the comfort, perfectly willing to accept sympathy for once. Hell! She deserved some pity.

"Everything's going to be alright Lana. Things are getting better, and so are you."

Lana sniffed in response, not the energy to nod anymore. Tonks sounded deadly serious, which was a rarity for her. Maybe, if Lana worked especially hard to stay out of trouble, maybe it could be true.


	6. Truces and Arguments

Chapter 6 - Truces and Arguments

Lana had a free period the following morning and so was able to lounge around the girl's dorm until 10 o'clock. Unfortunately, she then had to attend Ancient Runes. A class that Charlie had also taken. She had no choice but to face him sooner or later, and she had admittedly calmed down since her outburst the day before. In any case, it would still be awkward and she'd feel even more emotionally drained then she did already.

Despite this, Lana hurried to class before the bell rang and as she'd expected, the scarlet hair of Charlie Weasley stood out like a polar bear in the desert. He was stood at the front of the queue for class and didn't appear to have noticed her, so Lana just tagged onto the end and waited patiently.

After a relatively short wait, they entered the class room one by one. Ancient Runes wasn't a subject that Lana particularly enjoyed. But Noah and Charlie somehow made it seem fun. Not today, however, as Lana hurried to the back of the class without sparing a glance at her boyfriend.

It was hard to feel annoyed at him. He had every right to be upset, as did she. But he still betrayed her. He still told Tonks and Noah when she'd asked him not to.

The lesson dragged, as they often did, and Lana found herself on the verge of dozing off more than once. Fortunately the bell rang just as she was about to give into the lull of sleep and she awoke with a start.

Sliding her books into her bag, she rose from her chair and made to leave the classroom. Charlie had other ideas. He caught her arms as she flew past; causing her to swirl around with an insult on the tip of her tongue, having assumed it was a slytherin trying to trip her up.

"Can we talk? Please?" Charlie asked softly, earnestly. Lana sighed heavily, wide awake now.

"Sure. Let's walk?"

Charlie nodded quickly, dropping his bag over his shoulder. He draped his scarf around his neck, as the corridors of Hogwarts were especially cold that day, and gestured for Lana to go on ahead.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling, knowing what was about to come. Lana bit her lip as she walked down the corridor, Charlie close by. She couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. So instead, she fell in-between and just sort of grimaced.

There was a patter of footsteps as Charlie hurried to keep up with her and then a sigh. "I'm sorry Lana. You were right, again. I should have just left it."

"Yes. You should have. But you were right as well. They would have found out anyway, better they know now so they can get used to the idea."

The statement hadn't received the response Lana had expected. Instead, Charlie gaped in horror.

"That's not what I meant at all! Godric Lana, You can't expect us to just come to terms with it and then get on with life! Just no!" Charlie ranted, shoving a hand through his shaggy red hair in his frustration.

"You have to Charlie! This problem won't go away. Even if it isn't-" Her voice dropped to a whisper, "Lewis. Then Apollo is out there, waiting to strike. Even if it isn't Apollo. It will be the curse. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing you can do. This is it for me now. I'm stuck like this until I die."

"I don't agree. You are getting better." Lana shook her head sadly, much to Charlie's annoyance. "You are! If you'd have seen yourself in the summer Lana, you literally looked dead. Like a zombie or something, I don't know. But now? Now you're eating and sleeping better. You're laughing with us, just like you used to. Anyone can see that you've improved!"

Lana furrowed her eyebrows sadly, tugging Charlie into a small alcove in the wall. "That's all on the outside Charlie. You heard McGonagall and Payton! This is my mind we're dealing with… I still hear his voice you know. Most of the time it's in my nightmares, and I wake up and it's gone." Lana paused, shifting her bag on her shoulder. Charlie swallowed and waited for her to continue.

"But sometimes, someone says something or does something and all I can hear is his voice. Except that isn't a dream anymore. I'm conscious and it's like he's there, all over again."

"That's when you collapse and scream?" Charlie asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Well, I didn't realize I screamed." Lana laughed emptily, shrugging. "But yeah." she added softly.

"I've heard you scream so many times Lana, those memories are _my _nightmares. And when you collapsed in class, it was like my nightmares had come real. Just like you. I swear to you, you're going to get through this. Defy all odds, like always."

"It doesn't change anything Charlie. I'll still die in the end."

"Perhaps." Charlie smiled weakly. "But not yet. You can have years yet. You could make it to 70 without ever having to save another life!"

"I wish." Lana muttered, "Apollo could turn up tomorrow and kill me in the blink of an eye."

Charlie took Lana's hands in his own and gazed at her intently, his face more serious than ever before.

"I'd kill her first."

"You couldn't kill Charlie. I wouldn't want you to kill for me." Lana whispered, not sure of how to respond to his statement. To kill someone was to split your very soul in two. She couldn't let Charlie do that to himself. Ruin himself just for her.

"We'll see." Charlie told her, pulling her into his chest in a comforting embrace. "When the time comes."

Lana repeated his words into his shoulder, sighing heavily. At least they had gotten over their argument and could move forwards again, without a crazy emotional Lana and an angry, irrational Charlie.

….….….….….….….….…

The weather worsened as October drew on, but it was no longer a question of danger for the 5th, 6th and 7th years. They had their exams to think of and work had to be done. So, as rain lashed loudly on the glass panes of the poor greenhouses, Lana pulled her cloak tightly around her and attempted to work with her numb fingers.

"Try not to focus on the cold!" Professor Sprout shouted over the thundering rain, brandishing a pair of earmuffs. "Remember! Ice ivy loves the cold so keep an eye on it as you're writing, it tends to grow quickly!"

Lana's teeth chattered as she worked. The Ice Ivy plant was basically like normal ivy, only pure white with poisonous blue crystals on the stalks. They couldn't be touched with bare skin, though Lana happily wore gloves in the freezing weather, and they tended to shoot up in cold temperatures. Though, much like Devil Snare, they could easily be killed with sunlight and heat.

Tentatively, Lana patted the soil around her ivy and began work. They were observing the plants as part of their OWL course, which meant they needed a detailed diagram and essay about the plant.

Lana's quill shook in her numb fingers, causing her diagram to fail epically. There was little she could do to keep out the cold. It was a part of the experiment. Even if they'd taken the plants inside to a nice classroom, they would have had to magically lower the temperature anyway so that the plants would grow. But they wouldn't have been able to do that anyway, as Sprout said: 'Most plants are sensitive to magic; you don't want to get them mixed up unless you're sure of the consequences!'

Lana smiled inwardly, attempting to keep her spirits up. She hummed to herself softly, checking her plant every so often to make sure it hadn't sprung up.

The lesson seemed to be never ending. Every time Lana looked at the time, it had barely moved a minute along.

However, it was when she was looking at the clock that she saw a burst of white to her left and then an ear-splitting crash.

Glass flew everywhere, littering the greenhouse in tiny shards. Lana attempted to cover her head but she was attacked from the side and pushed to the ground. Rolling under a table, Lana pulled her hands away from her face and with a gulp she realized her fingers were bloody.

She wiped them messily on her robes and turned, instead, to her protector who was poking his head out from under the desk. "Art? What happened?" Lana asked, somewhat astounded that he'd even bothered to help her. They'd barely spoken in a year.

"Someone ignored their ivy!" Art called back over the howling wind that was now penetrating the greenhouse via the large hole in the roof.

"Out! Evacuate the greenhouses. NOW!" Sprout yelled from somewhere to Lana's left. She happily complied and took Art's hand, letting him pull her up quickly. There was more screaming than Lana had ever heard in her life, and their class was relatively small.

Those at the far end of the greenhouse, closest to the break, which included Lana and Art, began making their way down to the exit. Unfortunately, the world seemed to have other ideas for them and a forgotten ivy to their right shot up before their eyes and smashed into the glass panes behind it. Yet more glass fell on them, mingling with the rain that poured through the gaps.

"Ouch! Shit, that hurts!" Art exclaimed beside Lana, Glass sliced his robes open easily and cut into his shoulder.

Lana swallowed her anxiety and drew her wand sharply, throwing one apologetic look at Sprout for all the plants in the greenhouse. "Incendio!"

Fire raged around, undeterred by the rain. It consumed the greenhouse in a few laps and only when Lana was completely sure that all the plants were dead, did she call the flames off.

"Reparo!" Now, the thousands of tiny glass shards rose from the wreckage and began slotting back into place in their various panes. Lana, Art and two other Hufflepuffs ducked as the glass spiralled around them until finally it ended and the greenhouses looked completely normal.

Well, it was a little bare and smoky… but at least it wasn't a complete death trap.

"Well Done Miss Dumbledore! Sprout called cheerfully, clapping her hands together. "30 points for Gryffindor!"

Lana rolled her eyes as she turned to face Art, checking his wound anxiously. It was small, but deep.

"Yes, well- class dismissed I think. Those of you with injuries should attend the hospital wing immediately."

"Are you alright to get to the Infirmary? I need to go see someone." Lana asked Art softly, conjuring him a towel to hold to his shoulder blade.

"You're coming with me. Haven't you seen your head?"

Lana frowned, fingers reaching up to her skull. She'd forgotten about her own injury in all the drama. It was only a scratch, but Lana agreed all the same. "If I must. Come on." she smiled wryly. Maybe this dramatic turn on events would result in something good. Maybe Art would forgive her for whatever she'd done to him and they could be friends again.

Hopefully, Lana thought sadly.

….….….….….….….….…

"You might as well live in the hospital wing for the amount of time you spend here!" Charlie grinned, greeting Lana with a peck on the cheek.

"Don't say that!" Lana scolded softly, patting the bed beside her so that Charlie sat there. "You'll jinx me!" she added with a smirk. "Besides, it wasn't me this time! I only came with Art."

The Gryffindor in question poked his head around the curtains of his own makeshift room, bare-chested other than a large bandage wrapping from his arm to his shoulder like some kind of tight sash. "Yeah? Tell that to the plaster on your head!" He retorted smartly, quirking an eyebrow cheekily.

Lana wrinkled her nose, her eyes flicking upwards. Poppy had healed her cut in an instant, but just to torture the poor girl- she'd stuck a very childish band aid on the scar.

Charlie chuckled in amusement, planting a kiss on Lana's plaster easily. "I think it's adorable." he told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Lana sighed in contentment and leant on his shoulder. "What lessons are you missing now?" she asked concernedly, sitting back up. It was well into period 3 by now.

"None. It's Thursday, I only have lessons in period 1 and 2, you know that."

"Oh, of course." Lana scolded herself mentally. "Sorry. Well, do you want to go back to the common room then? I think we're pretty much good to go." She added wisely, patting her head lightly.

"Sure," Charlie agreed with a smile, standing up off the bed and grabbing Lana's school bag for her.

"You ready Art?" Lana called into the other room, grinning amusedly. In the space of an hour, Art had apparently forgotten his entire case against Lana and was acting nicer to her than her had done in a year.

"Sure!" the blonde yelled back, "Let me just put a shirt on!" he added as an afterthought.

Lana had an urge to call back 'spoilsport' in a joking way, of course. But she had a feeling that Charlie wouldn't take it as lightly, especially not after the way he'd reacted to Nott that summer. So, she held her tongue and waited happily for her reinstated friend to join them.

When he did, Charlie took his bag too so that he didn't have to carry it on his bad shoulder. Lana smiled inwardly as they walked in a line, out of the infirmary.

Charlie had been right, everything was getting better. She had all of her friends back. She'd lost 2 enemies in one year and she found herself smiling, constantly, now that everyone around her was happy as well.

Yet, as Lana glanced out of the windows to see the storm that had caused the incident in Herbology still raging on, a small knowing feeling popped up in her mind. They weren't in the clear yet.

….….….….….….….….…

A week later, Lana found herself waiting outside Professor McGonagall's office. Snape had demanded that Lana be punished for her outburst in class weeks before but nobody had paid him the slightest attention. He'd made it his own personal quest to make her life living hell, giving her countless detentions that she point blank refused to attend.

The only reason he was so mad was because he got kicked out of his own classroom by Tonks, after Lana had been taken ill. Therefore, the professor of course assumed that it was Lana's fault. It was all a matter of pride.

Now, Both Lana and Snape had to meet with McGonagall to work out an appropriate punishment. In Snape's view, that would probably be expulsion form Hogwarts. In Lana's eyes, expulsion would be more of a gift.

"You may enter, Miss Dumbledore." McGonagall's stern voice called from inside the office.

Lana took a deep breath before striding into the room, smiling courteously at her head of house. It was odd being in such a formal situation with the older woman. After a summer of just spending all day with her, talking like normal people, it really felt weird to have to hold her tongue constantly.

"Good Morning Professor." She greeted kindly and dropped into a seat, nodding briefly at Snape. The head of slytherin just glared back through narrowed eyes.

"Well, you know why you're here Lana."

"Yes. Professor Snape has apparently made it his mission to stop me from seeing the light of day." Lana replied, sending a seething look at the hook-nosed professor.

"When I give a student detention, I expect them to show up. When you failed to, numerous times, your punishment was increased." Snape spat, practically radiating anger.

"You only gave me detention because I fainted in your class! That's not even a reason! It's completely pathetic!" It took a lot of effort to stop herself from shouting, but Lana managed to stay calm. However, if looks could kill Snape would be unmoving on the floor at that very moment.

"Hang on. You never said she fainted, Severus."

There was a moment of silence as McGonagall looked to Snape. Lana could have grinned were it not for the awkwardness of the situation. Boy, Snape was in trouble now.

"It was besides the point," Snape began swiftly, "and that was certainly _not _the reason for her detentions."

"Who cares about her punishment?" McGonagall snapped, causing Lana to sit up straighter in her seat. She'd often thought McGonagall had an intense disliking of her and her friends in their younger years, but she'd never seen the professor properly angry. "If a student, any student, faints in your class- You must send them to the infirmary and then tell their head of house. You know that! It doesn't matter how much you don't want to, it's the rules! Hell_, its law_! I don't care if you don't care about her wellbeing! Miss Dumbledore, of _ALL _people needs her Professors to take charge. You _know _how she needs constant attention!"

Lana's mouth dropped, hands on her hips. That had been blunt and rude, even if it was in her defence.

"Excuse me!" she snapped, "I'm not an invalid!" Her protest was useless, as McGonagall paid her no attention and continued with her rant.

"Now, you are going to drop all of Lana's punishments and if anything of this nature happens again you will have to answer to her grandfather. Am I understood, Severus?"

Lana pointedly stared at the ceiling, twiddling her thumbs as if oblivious to the professor's conversation. She wasn't really sure what was going on, but ignored it all the same.

A few seconds passed and then the door to the office was slammed shut. Lana looked down and saw that Snape had stormed out, leaving a fuming McGonagall behind.

"Well." Lana sighed dramatically, reminding herself of Tonks.

"I want you to listen to me Lana, before this gets anymore out of hand." McGonagall finally said quietly, forcing herself to calm down. "Professor Snape isn't the heartless git he seems, believe me."

Lana's forehead creased as she frowned, struggling to accept that peculiar statement.

"He does care a great deal, you know that. After everything he did for you last year."

Lana felt a pang of guilt. That was true. She would be dead without him.

"By punishing you for every little thing, he's only trying to make you hate him."

"But why? My life would be SO much easier if he wasn't so irritating!" Lana groaned, leaning back in her chair. It was so exhausting having to deal with arguments and nasty potion masters.

"So that you don't have another life debt! That's why!" McGonagall told her suddenly. "If you hate him, he thinks that the link between you that was created by him saving your life will be broken. In which case, you would feel no need to die in his place if you happened to find yourselves in another life or death situation."

"But it wouldn't work like that. Even if I hate his guts, I'd still die for him because I'd still owe him my life."

"Exactly." McGonagall busied herself with making a pot of tea, leaving both the Gryffindors to think in silence. "For a Slytherin, he's not all that subtle."

Lana bit her lip, staring out the window behind McGonagall's head. It had stopped raining, but it was freezing and blustery. Every morning they awoke to frost. It was unnaturally cold for that time of year. Lana could only dread to think about how cold it would be when winter actually came.

When she'd been waiting outside the office, she hadn't thought that there meeting was going to go anything like it had done. She'd expected to be lectured on respect. Then she'd haggle for a nicer punishment. She'd be docked some house points and then be on her merry way.

Instead, she witnessed McGonagall lecturing Snape as the angriest professor Lana had ever seen. Then, she had been told that there was yet another possibility of her death and it hadn't bothered her in the slightest.

"I think I'll try to talk to Snape. It can't do any harm, can it?"

McGonagall looked thoughtful as she stirred her tea. "You'd be surprised. I have tried convincing him, he's very stubborn."

"Yeah," Lana snorted, "unless you threaten him with Dumbledore."

"Actually, Albus knows almost nothing about what's going on in your life. Poppy refused to tell him about you're health. I believe he's been trying to get information from St. Mungos but as he's not your registered carer, they can't tell him anything by law."

"He's been spying on me?!"

"Of sorts. Of course, no one would willingly tell him anything about you. But, I'm sure you know he has other means of getting information."

Lana's eyes drooped sadly. "Not everyone knows Legilimency, do they…?"

"I'm afraid not. You best be on your way, Miss Dumbledore. You wouldn't want Mr Weasley to worry."

Lana sighed and stood, straightening out her robes. "Of course not. Thank you, Professor. See you on Monday."

….….….….….….….….…

"Why is it so cold?" Tonks wailed, slipping her arms underneath Noah's cloak and wrapping them around his chest to keep warm.

It was the last week of October and the Gryffindors were on their way down to Hagrid's, accompanied by a very wary Nott.

Tonks's question wasn't justified with an answer.

Lana couldn't wait to see her old friend who would hopefully greet them with a large pot of tea. They'd barely spoken in weeks and Lana missed the half-giant greatly. She had to take advantage of the great friends she had, while she still could. How would poor Hagrid feel after she died, knowing she never said goodbye…

They quickly reached the large hut; their journey sped up somewhat by the cold. Charlie was the only one brave enough to pull his hands from his pockets to knock loudly on the door. His hands quickly retracted and they waited, hearing thumping footsteps coming from within the house.

The door swung open and Hagrid appeared, grinning through his great black beard. "Alrigh' you lot?" He asked, stepping back to let them in. "Though' you'd forgot about me!" he exclaimed, though he didn't sound too upset.

"Oh Hagrid," Lana beamed up at him brightly, "How could we ever forget you!"

Hagrid chuckled, shutting the door as Noah was the last to enter. He then bustled over to the area that might resemble a kitchen and began making tea, readying 5 giant sized tea mugs.

"You know Nott, don't you Hagrid?" Tonks asked distractedly, half introducing the slytherin and half attempting to restrain her laughter as Fang, Hagrid's dog, began attacking Noah playfully.

"Ay, probably." Hagrid responded happily, handing out the tea. "So, Wha' brings you out in this weather?"

"We missed you Hagrid. We didn't really get to see you much last year and we thought, why not?" Charlie filled in, taking his tea gratefully but politely declining a tin of rock cakes that Hagrid offered him.

"Exactly!" Lana giggled, "So, How are you?"

"I'm fine, me. I reckon I'm doin' a lot better than you lot! Exams comin' soon aren't they. I can't believe you're in fifth year all ready!"

"Neither can we!" Tonks snorted, also turning down the rock cakes. "It's so weird! In 2 and a half years we'll be leaving Hogwarts forever!"

"No more potions…" Charlie said wistfully, leading them into a thoughtful silence. Lana was reminded of the fact that she still needed to talk to the dreaded potions professor, as she'd put off doing so. There was no escaping it; she'd have to do it at some point.

"Any ideas what you'll all be doing after School then?" Hagrid prompted, smiling at them almost sadly- his beady eyes shining.

"I'm going into Law in the ministry, hopefully." Noah was the first to rely, ever willing to talk about education and work. Lana had never known anyone to be so organized at the age of 16 especially. He had his whole life planned out, from leaving Hogwarts to death.

Lana just hoped she lived long enough to actually graduate.

"I'd love to be an auror, but I don't really think I'd be able to pass the tests. Maybe just Law Enforcement." Tonks frowned, her bubblegum pink bangs turning periwinkle blue.

"Don't be daft Nymph, You'd ace them all!" Lana protested stubbornly. She'd seen her best friend duel, and despite the fact that it was only a classroom situation, she was pretty good.

"Even stealth?" Tonks replied, an eyebrow raised.

Lana thought for a moment. Tonks was exceptionally clumsy. In fact, she was as clumsy as Noah was organised.

Still…

"Even Stealth!"

Tonks just smirked.

"What about you, Nott? I don't suppose you'd really need a job though?"

Nott smirked, running his fingers through his platinum blonde hair. "Not really, but my father had a business in insurance. I'm sure I could do something with that."

Hagrid then turned to Lana expectantly but Lana didn't know what to say. She'd not really given it much thought.

"I think… I mean, it's pretty much impossible, but if I could… If I had the chance… I'd like to be useful in life." She finally decided, biting her lip. Everyone, par Hagrid and perhaps Nott, realized that she meant that's what she would do if she managed to survive Hogwarts.

"I'd run for Minister of Magic or something. You know, try and make things better. And if not that, then I'd travel the world and see everything there is to see."

"You've got all the time in the world Lana. Yeh can do both!"

Lana smiled weakly, "Charlie? You're the last one!"

"Oh. I'm not sure really. I'd love to carry on with quidditch, but I've read about these reserves in Europe where they breed dragons and care for them. I just think that would be so cool!"

"Dragon's eh?"

And that's how Charlie and Hagrid began a long, _long _conversation about the love for Dragons which they both shared.

Lana, Tonks, Noah and Nott pulled funny faces at each other to keep themselves occupied- though Hagrid and Charlie remained oblivious.

Eventually, Lana heard her name and prayed to god that the conversation was coming to a close. It wasn't that she didn't like Dragons. She did. She also loved hearing Charlie talk so passionately about them.

But, her tea has long since been drunk and the chill was beginning to get to her.

"Pardon?" She asked, not having heard what they'd been saying.

"I said that you're Patronus is a Dragon!"

"Oh, yeah," Lana sighed, sinking back in her chair. Apparently, they were no where near done.

Tonks sent Lana and scathing look, as if it were her fault that the conversation was not yet over.

Lana simply shrugged. After all, they had all the time in the world. Didn't they?

….….….….….….….….…

After a relatively tense Potions lesson, first thing on the morning on the Halloween, Lana sent Charlie on his way and hung around with Nott. She was waiting for the classroom to empty so that she could talk to Snape, however much her instincts were begging her to run away. Far, far away.

Nott, although unsure of her reasons for wanting to talk to the head of slytherin, was rather amused that she was choosing to do so.

"Were I a Gryffindor, and a Dumbledore at that, I'd be the first one out the classroom." He remarked swiftly, dropping his bag over his shoulder and tugging his slytherin scarf around comfortably.

Lana sighed, patting his blonde hair down after his bag rumpled it up. "And that, my friend, is why you'd make a terrible Gryffindor. You've less courage than a mouse."

"Ah," Nott smirked, "But a bigger ego than your own, and that's the true makings of a Gryffindor."

Lana tried to look angry, but she could only grin at his cheek and quick wit. Who'd of thought that being friends with someone outside your own house could be such fun? And Nott especially.

"Right, I'm off. If you're not at the feast tonight, I'll assume he's murdered you." Nott said cheerfully and bowed his head, before leaving the classroom with a spring in his step.

"Miss Dumbledore, I assume there is a reason you're still in my classroom whilst all your friends have left or do you simply wish to annoy me constantly?"

Lana turned on the spot and glared at the potions professor, hands on her hips. "Can't it be both?" She replied coldly.

Snape didn't bother to reply. He was sat at his desk, scrawling untidily on some parchment. He didn't look up as Lana arrived at his desk, but continued to write in silence.

"Professor. Please, would you stop being so childish and let me talk to you!" Lana snapped after a moment of waiting. Snape looked up slowly, his lip curling in obvious hatred.

He took his time, placing his quill into its stand and leaning back in his chair.

"Thank you. Now. I am asking you, as I have done countless times before, to please give me a break. I'm sorry that you hate me. I'm sorry that I make your life hell and that I was mean and annoying and insolent to you for most of my life. I can't change any of that and I know that if you really hated me, you wouldn't have saved my life."

Snape said nothing, just stared on coldly. It wasn't the most encouraging look, but Lana continued fearlessly. It had to be said.

"I don't know what I've done to you since then for you to keep attacking me, but it's not fair. If you continue to do so, I'll simply stop attending your lessons and then you'll lose your best student!"

The ghost of a smirk appeared on Snape's face. "What makes you think you're my best student?"

"Tell me I'm wrong." Lana demanded coolly.

Snape said nothing.

"Now. Can we have a truce or not? You don't have to put up with me for that much longer, can't you just use that as motivation?" Lana asked finally. She didn't want to have to leave potions class. It was the only subject she took where they had to work in complete silence, which was oddly satisfying. It gave her time to think.

Lana almost smiled. When she was 12 or maybe 13, she'd wanted to be a potions master herself. To help people with her creations. There was an experimental department in St. Mungo's that would have been perfect. If only.

"2 years is a long time, Dumbledore." Snape said stonily.

"Err, I didn't mean graduation." Lana said quietly.

Realization dawned on Snape's face. Lana hadn't meant Graduation when she said she wouldn't be around for much longer, she meant time left alive. The professor and the student were left in a moment of silence, both thinking to themselves. The shock slowly slipped from Snape's face, replaced with a resigned acceptance.

"Very well. If you start following school rules, I will stop your punishments."

It wasn't perfect. But at least it was something. Lana sighed and nodded, turning to leave.

"Do you hate Lewis Arrington?" Lana stopped in her tracks, shivering at the sound of his name. What did he have to do with anything?

"More than anything." Lana replied, turning back around.

"And yet… you didn't kill him."

"No." Lana could see what Snape was trying to say. He hated her, but didn't let her die. She hated Lewis, but didn't let him die either. "But I pity him, isn't that worse than death?"

With that, Lana swept from the classroom.

….….….….….….….….…

After her… discussion with Snape, Lana had been left in a thoroughly disheartened mood. No-one and nothing could cheer her up. Not even the great Halloween feast brightened her spirit. She picked at her food, leaning her head on her fist tiredly. Ideally, she'd be curled up in bed with a good book now but on such occasions, it would be plain antisocial to not even try to stick around.

But she didn't have to enjoy it.

"Try and have fun, eat a lollipop!" Charlie insisted for the thousandth time that evening, turning away from his conversation with Bill to find Lana looking just short of morbid.

"I don't want a lollipop." Lana sighed wistfully, switching arms to rest on. "I want to find 2 certain people and kill them. I want them dead, in front of me without anyone judging me or disagreeing with me. I want to be able to go out of Hogwarts, knowing that I'm perfectly safe and not having to worry about dying."

Lana wasn't sure where this anger had come from, but it was there all the same. Her tone changed from resigned to bitter and harsh. Cruel, even, as she spoke of her enemies' deaths.

Charlie didn't seem fazed in the slightest. Perhaps he was used to Lana's moods, or maybe he thought she was kidding. "You don't mean that Lana." He replied easily, smiling.

This only added to Lana's anger. Now, when she was already in a bad mood, any girl would know to leave her be. Not to aggravate her or question her judgement. But Charlie wasn't a girl. In fact, at that moment Lana could only think of him as a prat.

"Yes I do." She snapped, resenting Charlie for not taking her seriously. "I'd do it a thousand times over if it meant this would end. I would have done one of them last summer if you'd let me."

Charlie stopped smiling, but his eyes sparkled infuriatingly. "Calm down Lana. I know you're upset about Snape, but don't let him warp your views. You're doing great."

Lana practically snarled at her boyfriend, beyond angry. How dare he be so patronizing!

"I'm glad you think its funny." she hissed, grabbing her cloak from under the table and placing it in her lap, just in case he said something to further annoy her.

"Lana. I don't think it's funny. I just think you're tired and emotional. So why don't you try and eat something and you'll feel better."

"Right. I think I'll grab something from the kitchens." Lana laughed hollowly, shaking her head bitterly. "And I swear to god, if you even dare to approach me for another 24 hours I'm going to jinx you into next week." She added for good measure and stood up, ready to storm out.

Charlie caught her arm quickly, finally taking her a little more seriously. "Lana!" he said sincerely, his eyes no longer twinkling. "I am sorry. I am!" he added at Lana's sceptical glare. "It's just… I don't like hearing you get so angry about…them." 'Them' referring to Apollo and Lewis. "There's no point getting so wound up about it. They're no threat to you right now, and you wouldn't kill them anyway."

It was strange. In that one moment, Lana felt a tide of separate emotions. They washed over her rapidly, leaving one strong feeling of pure fury. '_Wouldn't kill them anyway?'_ she thought to herself furiously. Why wouldn't she? Hadn't she killed before? Hadn't she proven that she was strong? She would do it without a second thought.

The second Charlie had finished talking, Lana's hand reached up instantaneously and slapped his cheek hard. Charlie visibly recoiled and the sound of the slap alerted the immediate area of students.

"Don't you _dare_ say that." She whispered and then stormed off, awaiting the rush of guilt and self-hatred to overcome her. She'd just slapped Charlie.

She, Lana, had just slapped her boyfriend, Charlie Weasley. What had she been thinking? Nothing, she told herself angrily, she hadn't been thinking. Just let her emotions get the better of her.

Would she rather lose everything she loved to be able to say she was strong? To say that she didn't need anyone else?

No.

So, Lana though sadly as she reached the Gryffindor common room, why was she fighting so hard to prove that she could manage alone?


	7. The End of an Era

Chapter 7 - The End of an Era

During their early Hogwarts years, Charlie hadn't once underestimated Lana's power. He'd seen her memories: he knew what she was capable of should she choose to let her emotions get the better of her. Yet, after watching her become so frail that past year… he'd let himself believe she was just a normal girl.

He was an idiot. Had he really assumed Lana had become powerless and weak, just to appease his own ego?

That summer, when Lana had fought with Lewis- it had been a real, cruel reminder that Lana was overly brilliant when it came to combat. Charlie was secretly proud of his girlfriend. She was fantastic and dazzling and so much stronger than he could ever be, yet she chose him.

But Charlie had never, ever even contemplated that her radiating anger might be directed towards him. So he felt only shock when her hand flew up and slapped his cheek, _hard_.

He'd been pushing his luck with his words. Charlie realized this one some level, but his main thought at the time was that Lana was ill. Ill people need caring for, and Lana was no different.

Lana had other ideas. She seemed to want complete independence recently, and Charlie had to wonder whether she was onto something.

It was something he had to think about later, however, as at that moment in time the entirety of the Great Hall were staring at him, stunned. Lana was long gone, her long legs allowing her to stride from the hall before most had even realized what had happened.

Charlie raised a hand to his cheek, his eyes wide. Now that the shock had subsided, he could feel the sting of the slap and it wasn't a particularly pleasant feeling. With some effort, Charlie forced himself to turn back to his plate and finish his juice slowly. The hall was deadly quiet but Charlie wanted to give Lana a decent head start before he too escaped the hall and found somewhere to think.

After a seemingly endless 2 minutes, Charlie placed his goblet down and wiped his mouth with a napkin quickly. As he rose from the table, he caught Tonks's eyes and nodded shortly.

The girl smiled weakly in reply. Charlie turned to leave, but he didn't miss Tonks and Noah's hands locking together on the table. It was like they were scared. But what did they have to be scared of?

Charlie sighed as he left the hall. Who knew what the next 24 hours would bring?

….….….….….….….

After her performance in the great hall, Lana found herself curled up in bed atop her duvet- tissues in hand. She was _stupid_. Hot tempered, emotional and weak.

The truth was, she couldn't do anything without Charlie. Yes, she would have killed Lewis last year had she been given the chance. The point was, she didn't because Charlie gave her the strength to say no.

That's what mattered in the end. That's why she needed Charlie. Because without him, she was weak and with him, she was stronger.

Whilst she was lucky enough to have Charlie, nothing seemed as daunting. Sure, Apollo was out there somewhere waiting for her- what did that matter? Lana could kill her before Apollo had a chance to kill either her or Charlie.

And the curse upon Lana? Well, Charlie was worth dying for. How could she be scared of something that would save Charlie's life?

It was only when she was without Charlie, that Lana felt fear.

So she just had to make sure she was never without Charlie… As long as he could forgive her for being such a cow to him.

….….….….….….….

Later that night, Charlie found himself wondering the corridors of Hogwarts- trying to find something to do. It was past curfew and there wasn't anything he could find to do anyway, but he could just sit in the common room. His mind was too uneasy. He kept alternating between anger and sadness.

He explored the freezing castle for hours until he finally decided he was tired enough to get some sleep. Only then did he begin to make his way back to the Gryffindor tower.

He made it to the fifth floor without any interruption. It was just his luck to go undetected all night and then, 2 floors from safety, to be caught.

"Mr Weasley? What are you doing up at this time of night?"

Charlie froze. It could have been anyone. Any professor in the school, but it was Dumbledore. He was really the last person Charlie wanted to talk to right then.

"Couldn't sleep, Sir." Charlie replied dutifully, shaking his head.

"I presume this has something to do with the display during the Feast tonight." Dumbledore replied, sighing audibly.

Charlie didn't reply. Dumbledore obviously knew he was correct, so why bother?

"Then I fear we are both awake for the same reasons." Dumbledore continued remorsefully, stroking his beard absent-mindedly.

Charlie failed to reply once more and stared into the darkness of the corridor.

"Whilst I'm sure you must hate me for everything I've done to Lana, you should know that I have only ever tried to protect her. I admit, I have made mistakes. But I am only human. I just wanted to keep her safe." Dumbledore paused, glancing at Charlie but the boys facial expression didn't shift. He continued to stare into the dark, trying not to listen to the professor and failing miserably.

"Lana is so special. Alas, her death is unpreventable. As all are. I long since accepted this. Certain things could lessen her chances of dying so soon, but they aren't going to happen anytime soon."

"Lana is a lot like you, Professor. She's like two different people. In day to day life, she'd kind and compassionate, honest and caring. But in Battle, I don't think she'd hesitate to torture."

"I am asking you Charles, for the last time- I promise you, if you truly love Lana you must let her go. Without you, she is one threat down. When Apollo does resurface, as she eventually will, we can deal with her without fear of Lana killing herself in order to save your life. Detached from you, we can deal with the other issues that threaten Lana's life and then you will both be safe to continue your relationship."

"She would never forgive me for listening to you, let alone take me back." Charlie said hollowly, finally turning to the Professor.

"I am not forcing you into anything Charles. If you wish to save Lana's life, it is the price you must pay. It's what I did 8 years ago when her parents died. By saving her life, I cost her a childhood and a family. I trained her as she needed to be trained, and it cost me a happy relationship with my granddaughter."

The last sentence of Dumbledore's plea was the one that got to Charlie. It was like seeing Dumbledore in a completely new light. He was speaking the truth, as far as Charlie could tell.

"How do you know this will work? What if I leave her and it changes nothing. What if you don't dispose of Apollo in time, and she kills Lana anyway?"

Dumbledore's forehead crinkled and he looked at Charlie through his half-moon spectacles. There was something comforting about the twinkle in his eyes, but it also made Charlie feel incredibly anxious.

"Then we cry. We pray that when we open our eyes, she's there. But eventually… we move on."

Charlie stared into the dark once more. It was an impossible choice.

Stay with Lana for the rest of her life, however long that might be. Love her and care for her, hold her and know that he was increasing her chance of death with every moment he stayed at her side.

Or leave her. Break her heart but buy her time. Give her a chance at a life she could never have with him.

"I should go back to the tower Sir, goodnight." Charlie said curtly and swept away, not so much as a glance in the Professor's direction.

….….….….….….….

The next morning, Charlie awoke feeling nothing more than pure hatred towards himself. He rolled over and sat up, pulling his curtains open reluctantly to let the morning chill into his warm sanctuary.

He reached onto his bedside table and grabbed his wand to perform a heating charm, until something else caught his eye. A little cage where a live dragon had once lived, growling happily like the real thing.

Charlie tilted the cage up to find it was empty. He tilted it further to see a little white sticker on the bottom of the cage which read '_upon death, dragon will vanish to reduce risk of fake dragonhide sales'_

Charlie stared at the empty cage, finding himself unable to let it go. The dragon Lana had gotten him was dead. He wondered vaguely if hers was dead as well.

….….….….….….….

Lana slept in late Saturday morning. Well, as far as _anyone else _was concerned- she was sleeping. She'd actually cried herself to sleep at about 1 in the morning and then woken 2 hours later. She didn't want to see or talk to anyone.

So, she feigned sleep until Elena and Tonks left the dorm and then she stayed in bed anyway. She managed to focus and do most of her essays during the day with Nora bringing her dinner at 4 o'clock and sitting with her till 6, talking peacefully about old times.

It wasn't often Lana got to spend time with the old elf, and she enjoyed it as much as possible- given the circumstances.

Ravenclaw were playing Slytherin that night, so after Nora left- Lana showered and dressed. The match would take her mind off things and get her into the fresh air for a few hours.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she wore some jeans and plimsolls as always with a top. She had been about to pull on a coat and gloves when she noticed Icarus sat at her window, clicking his beak impatiently.

Lana stroked him distractedly as she took the letter from his claws and unfolded it curiously. Icarus normally only delivered letters from her, so someone must have been very desperate or Icarus must have known it was important.

_Lana,_

_We need to talk. Could you meet me in the forest at quarter past 6?_

_Charlie._

Lana glanced at the clock and froze. It was half past already. How long had Icarus been waiting? She hadn't heard him whilst she'd been showering and now she was late.

Carelessly, she grabbed a jumper from her chair and raced out of the dormitory. Praying he hadn't already left, she practically flew through the school in the attempt to make it to the forest. By the time she even got outside she felt sick and dizzy, breathless from running so much, and she still had a way to go.

She continued onwards, the wind lashing her face and bare arms cruelly. Several times she dropped her jumper and scrambled to pick it up, but she didn't take time to put it on and run the risk of missing Charlie. She just carried it.

Her watch seemed to be moving unnaturally quickly and every time she looked at it, it had moved another 2 minutes onwards. By the time she reached the forest edge, it was 10 to 7 and she still had a way to go.

Eventually, she reached the cluster of trees where they normally ended up and found it to be quite deserted. She leant against a tree, breathing heavily. He'd gone. She was too late. Well great, she though angrily, all that for nothing!

"Hey." Lana nearly screamed as Charlie dropped down from the tree and greeted her so casually.

"Hey." She replied quietly, scolding herself for being so jumpy. She wiped a fallen tree trunk a little and sat on it, watching Charlie worriedly.

"Look, Charlie- I'm so sorry about yesterday. I don't know what came over me."

"I know. Its fine really, I was out of line." Charlie conceded, honestly. He wasn't bothered about the slap anymore. It meant nothing.

"No you weren't. I really am sorry." Lana insisted, guilt overwhelming her.

"You're _always _and _completely _forgiven Lana. It's a hundred times better than what I'm about to do." Charlie heaved a great sigh, drawing Lana's undivided attention.

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly, nervously. The situation was far too serious for her liking. If felt like something bad was about to happen, but Lana didn't want to think about what it could be.

"I. I've been doing a lot of thinking Lana and, well, what with everything that's happened lately… I think… I think that for now, it would be better for you if we stopped seeing each other."

And Lana's heart stopped beating.

"Yes. Sure. Why not? Let's have a break." Her voice was thick and her words were rushed, but she was entirely too emotional to let the conversation drag too long.

"No… I mean, I think it's best if we stop seeing each other entirely. Obviously it's difficult in school, but I won't bother you- I swear. I'll stay away and then you can… you can have some independence."

"I don't want it. I don't want independence. I want you." Lana told him rapidly, her face heating up in a mixture of confusion and hurt.

Charlie sighed and closed his eyes slowly. "But you don't need me."

"Yes I do! Don't say that, because I do! I need you more than anything else in the world! You're more important than the air I breathe!" Lana realized she sounded entirely panicky and desperate, but she couldn't care less. This couldn't be happening? She was dreaming and she'd wake up in the common room, Happy in Charlie's arms.

"I have to do this Lana. I have to give you a chance at living. I can't face you everyday, knowing that I could be the reason you die. I don't want to live with that knowledge and I can't live without you!"

Tears threatened the brims of Lana's eyes, but she held back her sobs. "Then don't do this. I'm yours forever, you know that."

"Lana, please- this is hard enough as it is." Charlie groaned, raking a hand through his shaggy red hair. The hair that Lana loved so much. "I can't do this anymore. Okay? If you living means that I have to stay away from you, then it's worth it. Because it'll be hard to live my life knowing that you're somewhere else- living yours without me. But it will be a thousand times harder to live my life knowing that you're dead, because of me."

There was a silence in which both Charlie and Lana rubbed their eyes dry and then Lana looked up, heartbroken. "Why now? Why, after 5 years of friendship and love, did you decide to do this?" She asked hollowly, unable to keep her eyes off her beloved Weasley.

"I guess I wasn't strong enough before." Charlie smiled weakly, his deep brown eyes twinkling with tears once more.

"So that's it then? Everything we've done together and worked for, just ended. You expect me to walk the castle for the next 3 years pretending you never existed?"

"It'll get easier with time. I hope." Charlie paused, watching Lana carefully. "I should go. Do you want me to send someone to come and fetch you?"

"No." Lana shook her head, staring at the spot where Charlie had been standing. "Just go." she added darkly.

And he did.

….….….….….….….

After Charlie left, Lana walked. She waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps and then she stood, turned towards the depths of the forest and she walked as far as her legs would carry her. Oddly, she didn't feel anything. Her whole body was numb, but she wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Eventually, Lana got tired and she was forced to stop and rest. Had it been before last year, she would have been able to keep going for miles more. But now she was weak. No matter what she did, there was only a matter of time before she had to stop.

She supposed that life was the same. Sooner or later, she had to give in.

Lana found a tall tree and climbed it skilfully, reaching a sturdy thick branch near the top and perching on it carefully. The tree was taller than she'd thought and she could see over most others in the forest. In the distance, the school was visible through a little fog. The sun was falling rapidly and lights were appearing in every tower of the school.

Behind her, Lana could also see Hogsmeade. Abe was no doubt preparing for his nights customers. The usual grumpy old men that were there every night.

Lana turned back to the school, leaning on the tree trunk and swinging her legs up onto the branch.

Truth be told, she wasn't sure how to feel.

She had every right to be angry at Charlie. There was no need for what he had chosen, even if it was to protect her. His efforts were in vain and she would die anyway, unsure of whether he ever truly loved her at all.

Yet… Lana wasn't mad at Charlie. She understood perfectly why he had done what he did and why he thought it was for the best. She would have done the exact same in his shoes, and probably sooner than he.

Though, she was mad at herself. Maybe if she'd been able to reign in her emotions and not lash out at him unnecessarily, he wouldn't have doubted the strength of their relationship. He wouldn't have doubted her…

On reflection, Lana realized that she was completely devastated. Utterly distraught. Nothing and no-one would ever brighten up her life again, or so it seemed. The prospect of not being able to see Charlie and talk to him, hug him and kiss him… it was daunting. She'd relied on him for 4 years, how could she be cut off from him so suddenly?

There was nothing to be said or done. Charlie wouldn't change his mind and Lana wouldn't beg him to take her back. As much as she wanted to, she simply couldn't. She doubted whether she'd ever be able to look at him again, without bursting out in tears.

Nothing could change what had just happened. Lana couldn't pretend it had been a nightmare and waltz into his dorm to kiss him and hold him, so instead she cried.

She cried until the sun disappeared behind the school and then she continued to cry. She cried as the rain started pouring, lashing at her skin and face. She cried as she struggled into her jumper, even though it was already soaking wet anyway.

Only when the clouds cleared and the stars began emerging, did Lana stop crying.

"When did I become this dependent on him?" Lana asked the sky, unable to say Charlie's name aloud.

"When you fell in love with him." a soft Scottish voice replied sadly.

Lana laughed hollowly, shaking her head. "And when was that?" She demanded harshly, turning to face McGonagall. The professor was hovering, apparently effortlessly, on a broom beside Lana's branch.

"Does that matter?" McGonagall prompted quietly. "It's late, Lana. Come back to school."

Lana looked away from the professor, facing the school once more. Somewhere, by one of the illuminated windows of the Gryffindor tower- maybe Charlie was sat watching the stars as she had just been doing.

"I can't." She whispered after a moment, her voice barely audible in the wind.

McGonagall looked thoughtful and older than Lana had ever seen her look. "I know it seems like the end of the world Lana, but you're young. You'll move on and it won't hurt so much. Trust me."

Of course. Hadn't McGonagall's husband died just years before? Lana wanted to scream, to tell the professor that it was different for her. That Charlie was alive and had _chosen _to leave her. But she was going to die anyway, what did it matter if she died with or without Charlie?

But she held her tongue and wiped her watering eyes quickly, before the salty tears had the chance to join the rain water that cascaded down her face.

"How did you know where to find me?" Lana asked suddenly, turning back to the professor. "I walked for ages."

"When you didn't return to the common room, Miss Tonks looked in your dorm and found a certain letter from Mr Weasley. She demanded that he tell her what you'd discussed in the forest and, as far as I know, punched him and ran to tell me that you were missing. I didn't think that you would have left the forest so I took to the skies to find you."

"Is he alright?" Lana asked sharply, referring of course to Charlie. Tonks was small, sure, but she packed a hell of a punch.

"He suffered merely a broken nose, though I imagine he expects a lot worse from many more in the coming weeks."

Lana's eyes shut gently, raindrops dripping into her hair. For the first time that night, the cold finally hit her. She hadn't realized she had been shivering before, but now she was shaking in both sadness and cold.

"However, right now I am more concerned about the already ill 15 year old who has been sat out in the cold and rain for 5 hours, wearing nothing more than a soaking jumper." The ghost of a smirk reached Lana's lips. McGonagall never changed. Even when being completely sympathetic, she still managed to be firm and strict. "And I'd very much like her to come back to the castle with me for a dreamless sleep potion and a night under Poppy's care."

Lana opened her eyes and sighed, no more tears falling. It was as if she'd ran out of them.

With minor reluctance, she joined McGonagall on the broom and allowed herself to be flown back to the castle. Tired was not the word to describe how Lana was feeling at that moment. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Therefore, she followed McGonagall in silence up to the infirmary with only a pitiful voice in her head pleading with her legs to turn around and run straight back into the forest.

Lana didn't listen to the voice. But, she thought sadly as they reached the hospital wing, maybe she should have done.

….….….….….….….

Poppy had been reluctant to give Lana the full dosage of Sleeping potion, despite McGonagall's protests. The matron's argument was that Lana had taken unmeasured amounts of the potion the year before, and it would be better for her health to keep to a minimum. So, Lana had collapsed into bed and been given the smallest goblet of Dreamless sleep potion she had ever seen.

Therefore she'd awoken barely 2 hours later, screaming her throat raw. The emotional stress of the night must have triggered something in her mind, but her nightmares had been more horrific and vivid then ever before. When she was finally able to silence herself, she realized that the next time she opened her mouth she was likely to be sick.

If it wasn't the nightmares of watching her friends being tortured until they coughed blood, sobbed and begged for death- then it was the dark realization that when she returned to the Gryffindor tower she would have to face her friends.

Either way, Lana raced to the bathroom and collapsed onto the cold floor by the toilet, tears streaming from her eyes as she lost what little food remained in her stomach.

She'd barely eaten in 2 days and even after her stomach was completely empty, Lana still felt the urge to vomit. Her throat burned, her stomach ached and she was lying, cold on the bathroom floor.

What Lana wanted most, more than anything in the world, was for Charlie to appear at the door and hold her like he had done the last time she'd been so sick. But that didn't look like it was going to happen, so Lana forced herself to stand- albeit unsteadily, and wash her face with cold water.

Any evidence of her sickness gone, Lana left the bathroom and perched on the end of her bed. She was wide awake and knew there was no chance of sleep returning to her that night. She could go for a walk, but risk running into someone she didn't want to see. Or she could return to the Gryffindor tower under the cover of the night and arouse no suspicion the following morning.

After a few minutes to build up her courage, Lana scribbled a note for Poppy to find in the morning and hurried from the Infirmary without a second thought.

The old castle was positively freezing, which only increased Lana's speed as she hurried from the 3rd floor to the 7th- anxious to get out of the corridors. Lana felt far too familiar with the darkened corridors; having spent Merlin knows how many nights wandering them the year before.

Lana scolded herself mentally for thinking about Lewis, but it was too late. She stumbled and held onto a banister tightly- squeezing her eyes tight shut.

Think of something else! She told herself desperately, sinking to the floor in the hope that she wouldn't fall down the stairs she'd just climbed. "Anything else!" she added aloud, with what little control she had left.

_The desperate need to escape. His voice ringing in her ears. Blood pounding and her head spinning. They could find out everything about her. Stupid Runes exam. Falling onto the stone floor and feeling her whole body trembling uncontrollably._

_'Just give in, Lana.'_

_No, no she wouldn't._

_'DO IT.'_

_Stumbling and sliding, no control of her actions. The urge to give into the darkness and let the voice in her head take her over once more. To end her pain, if only temporarily. _

Lana's eyes snapped open and she found that her world was sideways. As was the friendly slytherin, Nott, who was crouched in front of her, wearing a deep frown.

"What are you doing up? Are you alright?" Lana asked immediately, sitting up much to the protest of her mind which decided to make everything spin around her.

"Me? The girl who just had a screaming fit in the middle of the night, is asking if _I'm _alright?" Nott asked. In the dark, Lana couldn't tell whether he was amused or irritated.

"No-one heard, did they?" Was that really her biggest fear? That someone might have heard her panic? People would talk anyway, especially now that… Lana shook her head, provoking yet more dizziness.

"Not that I know of." Nott shrugged, rolling off his knees so he sat opposite Lana. They sat in silence for a few minutes; Lana's heavy breathing slowly evening out. Eventually, Nott leant back on the wall behind him and watched Lana shrewdly. "I followed you from the hospital wing you know. I don't know why. You looked really ill, you were crying- But apparently it's a good job I did."

Lana nodded slowly, unsure of what to say.

"Why were you in the hospital wing?" She enquired quietly, her forest green eyes flicking to Nott's face.

"Kid broke my wrist during the match. We were playing Ravenclaw." Nott informed her honestly, smirking a little. "Not that it mattered, I broke his broom." He added quite smugly.

Lana smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"And you?" Nott pressed, eyebrows arched.

Lana doubted whether she should tell Nott the truth but decided it didn't matter really, he'd find out soon enough.

"Well," She began, still smiling vacantly along with the tears that formed in her eyes. "… After what happened last year, I have a few side effects that sometimes… force me to relive memories that I don't want to." That was the nicest way to possibly put it.

"The screaming fits?" Nott cut in, though it was more of a statement then a question.

Lana nodded quickly and continued. "Well, I've been having a few of them recently and it stopped me from getting much sleep. Then I assaulted Charlie in front of the whole school and had to endure everyone talking about us. And then…he broke up with me," Lana swallowed a sob, "and I went for a walk in the rain for a few hours. When McGonagall found me, she made me go the hospital wing to sleep instead of going back to the Gryffindor tower."

"Wow." Nott remarked lowly, "Are you alright?" he asked tentatively.

"No." Lana replied, shaking her head once more. "We can't be friends anymore and we can't speak to each other, but I don't think he hates me."

"What're you worrying about that for!? He dumped you!" Nott told her harshly, his grey eyes narrowed. "You should hate him, not the other way around!"

"Stop it!" Lana interrupted the Slytherin's rant sharply. "Don't say that! You have no idea how much I've asked of him, ever since we met. He's kept my secrets, protected me and defended me! I've lead him to danger a hundred times and he's suffered a lot more than me because of it. Not to mention that he's been there for me, wherever and whenever I needed him whilst I've been nothing but a pain to him! He deserves a lot better than me, and when he gets over this break up he can move on and live a proper, real life. He can be happy and normal."

The corridor fell back into silence as Lana mopped up her tears and Nott took in what he'd just heard, repeating it in his head.

"Why did he leave you? And don't say it was for the things you've just said because I don't believe you. Charlie-" Lana flinched at the name "-Loves you and none of that would have put him off in the slightest."

"It's just better this way!" Lana said, her voice forced into calm. "I can't tell you the reason Nott. But you're my friend and I trust you, so I need you to do me a favour."

Nott looked sour for a moment, but then his eyes drooped and he sighed. "What?"

"If you hear people talking, about us- it, I mean… Tell them it was my fault. Tell them I've been a terrible girlfriend and snapping at -him- Tell them that slapping him was the last straw and he was sick of me."

"Why?" Nott asked, astonished.

"Because then I'm the bad guy. All people know so far is that I slapped him, he left me and Tonks punched him. I don't want people blaming him. He doesn't deserve the gossip and hate- make me the bad guy."

"That's ridiculous, then the hate will be directed at you."

"I heard it all before, I can deal."

"Really?" Nott looked sceptical, glaring at her pointedly. "Because to me it looks like you'd burst out crying if someone looked at you funny. Hell- Sometimes I think that if I poke you too hard you'll drop down dead!"

"I wish," Lana muttered under her breath. "I'll manage Nott. You don't have to actively set off rumours, but if you hear people talking… just give them the ideas."

Lana was sure Nott was going to say no. That he was going to refuse stubbornly and attack Charlie, much like Tonks. Instead, he sighed and relief swept through Lana.

"Alright. Fine. I'll do it, but if anyone upsets you I swear to god I'll murder Weasley."

"Haven't I told you it wasn't Charlie's fault? He's doing what's best for him, for once."

"So who's going to do what's best for you?" Nott asked hollowly, "Because you certainly don't."

….….….….….….….

Lana woke the next morning to Tonks's voice. The clumsy metamorphmagus was clearly attempting a whisper, but failing dramatically.

"Should we wake her?" She asked, presumably Elena. Lana struggled to remain motionless as a finger reached down and jabbed her arm childishly.

"No! Let her sleep!" Elena hissed, much further away than Tonks. "God knows she needs it…"

Lana frowned inwardly. Did she look that bad?

"I don't want to leave her, El. Can you go get food and bring it back up?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. You stay with her though, don't go wandering off!"

There was a silence in which Lana could only imagine Tonks giving Elena a deadly look. "What do you take me for?"

"Easily distracted." Elena replied dryly, "I'll just bring a selection of everything. See you in 10."

There were light, padding footsteps and then the door swung open. Tonks bid Elena a cheery 'bye!' and then the door shut again, leaving them in silence.

"I know you're awake Lana." Tonks said softly, climbing onto Lana's bed- beside her feet.

"What gave me away?" Lana heaved a great sigh, dragging herself up into a sitting position. The clock told her that after her talk with Nott, she'd managed another 4 hours sleep which she was secretly rather pleased with. More than usual, by a long shot. Then again, she was overly exhausted.

"The fact that when you were asleep, you looked peaceful and when you woke up… well, you looked god awful to be honest."

"Gee thanks." Lana muttered, glaring at her friend momentarily before it faded and left nothing but sadness of her face.

"So." Tonks spoke quietly, her hair fading to a midnight purple colour. "I broke Charlie's nose."

"I know. You shouldn't have."

"No. He shouldn't have. You know why he's doing this Lana! He thinks it's going to save your life!"

"I know! I _know _it won't work, I know that I'm going to be miserable until the day I die and I know that if he told me he changed his mind, I'd take him back without a moment's hesitation!" Lana ranted, tears in her eyes yet again. It was so strange. A simple break up and Lana felt worse than she had done in years. This was worse than Lewis, Apollo and Malfoy put together! Life without Charlie was literally causing her pain. But she would learn to manage it as best she could.

"But," she continued, taking a deep breath, "I also know that this is better for him. I'm going to die and he can't change that. Nobody can. But you have to see that if we end this now, it won't hurt him as much when I die."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say Lana Dumbledore." Tonks shook her head firmly.

"Well it's the truth!" Lana protested sharply, quite frankly feeling sick of having to answer for herself. "I love him and it's breaking my heart to think that he's not a part of my life anymore, but knowing that he can move on and be happy- it makes it worth it."

"Why aren't you angry?" Tonks asked softly after a moments thought. "Why aren't you screaming at him and sobbing, hating him with everything you've got and encouraging us to hate him too?"

"Because I love him." Lana said simply.

And then the tears came.

Lana didn't have to say anything or excuse herself, wiping her tears away. She just let them fall and Tonks understood.

A part of Lana wished she was stronger- because she was 15, and even if she wasn't going to die young she and Charlie would probably never have lasted. After all, who ends up married to their childhood sweetheart? A part of Lana told her she should get over it because it didn't really matter in the end. It told her that Charlie could be happy now and Lana could die, knowing he was safe and she wasn't hurting him anymore.

But another part of her was distraught. Distraught that she couldn't grow old with Charlie and be with him forever. Devastated that she couldn't have a normal life. Devastated that Charlie was going to be happy without her.

When Elena returned, little over 10 minutes later, she found both Tonks and Elena sat in bed staring at the wall in front of them blankly.

"No stealing eggs." Tonks said hollowly, her vibrant blue eyes looking as dull as her mousy brown hair.

"No morning kisses." Lana added sadly.

"No being distracted from homework."

"No deep brown eyes."

"No running your fingers through his hair."

"No feeling _him _running his fingers through _my _hair."

"Okay." Elena cut in, dumping several plates down on a table with a loud thump. "What are you two on about?"

"All the things Lana will miss without Charlie." Tonks sighed, sounding almost as upset as Lana.

Elena's jaw dropped. "What the hell! You're meant to be cheering her up! Not joining in!" She screeched, storming over to the bed.

"I tried!" Tonks sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "But it's so depressing. I can't believe it…"

"No. Stop this right now." Elena scolded, pulling Tonks out of bed. "Seeing as though the both of you have never been through a break up, I'll have to guide you through this one. And Tonks, You're not the one who's split up with their boyfriend so would you PLEASE attempt to stay positive!"

Tonks nodded at the floor, somewhat guiltily, and shuffled over to her own bed.

"Right." Elena stood at the end of Lana's bed and forced a bright smile onto her perfect face.

"Seeing as though this was a long term relationship, I'm going to give you a week to mope."

"Just one?" Lana asked, crestfallen.

"Yes one." Elena said curtly. "You can pig out on junk food, wear your baggiest clothing and go to bed at half 3 for all I care. Hell, we'll join in!" She added, gesturing to Tonks who was now laying face down on her bed. "But come next weekend, you're getting up early, showering, going for a run, showering again, going to breakfast and nothing is going to get you down!"

"It's not that easy!" Lana objected, wrinkling her nose. "I love him; I can't just forget him in a week!"

"You don't forget Lana. You just pretend." Elena frowned, biting her lip. "Even if you're dying on the inside… hiding your true emotions is always the way to go. It's just how it is. If you wallow forever you'll end up lonely and depressed."

"I don't pretend Elena. I never have done. I say what I'm thinking when I think it and what I'm feeling when I feel it. I'm a Gryffindor, aren't I?"

Elena sighed. "Nott's rubbing off on you I see."

Lana smiled in spite of herself. Maybe he was.


	8. Of Breakups and Breakdowns

Chapter 8 - Of Break-ups and Breakdowns

"Strange, isn't it?" Tonks murmured as she pulled a large grey jumper over her school shirt and tie.

"What is?" Elena asked from her dressing table, watching her roommates in her mirror. Tonks was normally an awful morning person and rather uncommunicative, but she'd been awake bright and early that morning.

Lana watched them from her own bed, lying quite still. She'd woken up with a cold and fever. It was an illness that could be cured easily by a single trip to Poppy, but Lana would rather use it as an excuse not to see Charlie for another few days. The girls seemed to realize this but said nothing, just let Lana pretend.

"That it's already November. This years going so quickly. It'll be summer before we know it, won't it."

Elena laughed in the mirror, applying blusher to her sculpted cheeks and continuing to giggle. "We spend 4 years trying to get any conversation out of you in a morning, then the one time you're actually responsive you come out with that!"

Tonks shrugged and pulled her cloak on awkwardly, struggling to fit it over the bulky jumper. Happy that she looked alright, Tonks grabbed her schoolbag and flung it over her shoulder. "You ready?" She asked Elena with a smile, her hair flushing blue.

"Sure." Elena replied, sweeping her copper hair into a long pony tail.

Lana crossed her arms haughtily. It was frustrating how beautiful Elena looked with next to no effort, and Tonks who could look however she wanted.

"Are you sure you're alright Lana? If you feel any worse you will go see Pompfrey, won't you?" Elena added concernedly, hands on her hips as she stood beside Lana's bed.

"Of course I will." Lana smiled weakly. "It's probably just one of those 24 hours bugs or something. I'll live."

Elena sighed and strode over to Nymphadora who was stood waiting by the door. Tonks knew Lana to well to even doubt whether it was real or not.

"Bye!" They called simultaneously and then hurried away, the door swinging shut behind them.

Lana sank into her pillows and breathed out slowly; thanking Merlin they hadn't forced her to Poppy. She'd been awake for hours, thinking endlessly about the red-haired boy sleeping in the very room across from theirs.

Needless to say, she had made herself terrified of even seeing him. Merlin knows she was overreacting and scaring herself away from something that she would have to face inevitably, but she couldn't help it.

What was she meant to do? Just get up and get on with life like normal?

Lana groaned and pulled her covers up over her head. The girl that was normally so sure of herself had no idea what to do… how to proceed.

If she was honest with herself, she wasn't sure whether she even wanted to proceed.

….….….….….….….

Charlie Weasley hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. He was too anxious about what the day was going to bring. He'd barely left the dorm since Saturday evening, after his meeting with Lana, and he'd yet to face the rumours. Worse than gossip, he had all of their friends to deal with.

He wasn't feeling particularly optimistic about the day. Or anything for that matter. He told himself repeatedly that it was for the best. It was to save her life. She was better off without him and that was that.

But the more Charlie thought about it, the more he believed himself. Dumbledore had been right. To save Lana's life, he had to stay away from her. It would have been a lot easier to do if she'd been angry with him. If she screamed at him and hated him. The problem was, he didn't really know how she felt about it. She'd been so calm and collected, despite going missing for a few hours afterwards.

Charlie rubbed his nose absent-mindedly, grimacing. Boy, Tonks could punch hard.

Sighing, Charlie began to get ready for the day. His thoughts were too scrambled to get any productive thinking done. Perhaps the day would make his decisions for him, so he wouldn't have to.

….….….….….….….

It was with a sense of foreboding that Charlie left his dorm, ready to face the day. There was immediately a sense of detestation in the Gryffindor common room, and there were only a few people there. Charlie did his best to ignore them and he continued down to the great hall for breakfast, never mind the fact he wasn't really hungry.

It was still quite early, so the hall was only half full. Despite this, Charlie still received an abundance of death glares. He hadn't realized so many people liked Lana. Staring at the ground he continued until her reached the end of the table and sat down swiftly.

The second eldest Weasley son sat at the table alone for half an hour, stirring a cup of coffee unendingly. It was only when he was made vaguely aware of something pink in the corner of his eye, that he dropped the spoon and sipped his coffee slowly.

The pink was in fact Tonks, entering the hall with Elena and Noah. Charlie watched them from the corner of his eyes, praying he wasn't being too obvious. Lana's absence was his first observation. Although it wasn't a rare occurrence, for Lana to skip breakfast, Charlie's mind raced.

Was she avoiding him? Was she fed up of everyone? Was she ill? Perhaps she was having a bad day again?

Whispering consumed the hall as a thousand students looked from him to the other Gryffindors. Charlie had the slightest feeling that he was going to get very sick of life, very quickly. With minor reluctance, Charlie turned to the teachers table and surveyed the professor's faces. Snape looked his usual miserable self. McGonagall looked quietly furious, stirring her morning tea with force Charlie had never before seen.

Then Dumbledore was sat, smiling absently like nothing was wrong with the world. Charlie forced himself to turn back around, beyond annoyed. Could he not even pretend to be upset about the situation?

Realization dawned on Charlie. Dumbledore wasn't upset at all. This had just been his twisted plot to take some control over Lana's life once again… and Charlie had fallen for it.

Momentary despair flooded Charlie. What had he done? Why hadn't he thought about his actions before he did them? Why hadn't he discussed it rationally with Lana, instead of just telling her his decision and taking off.

The bell rang, breaking Charlie from his thoughts. He was more confused than ever before and he didn't know what to do about it. So, he pulled his bag onto his shoulder and fled from the hall to lessons.

….….….….….….….

After a morning spent mostly on the bathroom floor, Lana finally decided to pay Poppy a visit. She threw her cloak on hastily and swept from the dorm, pleased that most would be in lessons- including the 5th years.

It didn't take long to reach the 3rd floor and Lana turned the corner from the stairs, onto the defence corridor. Only then did she acknowledge that the 5th years had defence with Crownley.

Except she realized too late, and she had already turned the corner to face her biggest nightmare. Charlie.

He was stood next to the door, alone, leaning on the wall. He was staring at the ground, his expression bleak. His chocolate eyes flicked up and he found Lana stood opposite him, her eyes wide with shock- yet unable to tear away from his face.

"I- Are you alright?"

Lana nodded distractedly, raking fingers through her wild, dark hair.

"I mean- you, you weren't at breakfast and I wasn't sure whether you were ill or~" Charlie's voice faltered unsurely, leaving them in an awkward silence.

Lana debated silently whether she should talk to him or whether she should just run away.

"I didn't think it mattered to you." She finally whispered coldly, staring over Charlie's shoulder. For some reason, her brain had told her to be completely unemotional and it was beyond weird.

"Please don't be like that." Charlie groaned. "I'm trying, I really am. I know this sucks but it's for your own good. Dumbledore said so, and I know he may have said it for different reasons- but what matters is that it's keeping you sa-"

"Pardon." Lana's head whipped back to Charlie, hands on her hips. "Dumbledore said what?" She asked sharply, her head spinning.

"We…" Charlie sighed heavily. "We spoke the other night. He suggested a break for your own safety. On reflection, obviously, his reasons were different from my own…but at least you're a little safer."

Lana's jaw dropped open, completely furious. "You broke up with me because of something that DUMBLEDORE said?"

Whatever Lana had been feeling before was gone, replaced by rage and resentment. To think she'd been feeling guilty. To think she'd thought she deserved all the blame for the demise of their relationship, because everything was her fault.

In her messed up mind, poor Charlie had been struggling to cope with a crazy girlfriend and the rest of life. In her mind, Charlie was doing an honourable, good thing that was hurting him as much as it was hurting her.

But this changed everything.

Lana had never felt so betrayed. So humiliated. What, had they been talking behind her back? Discussing her wellbeing and assuming she couldn't take care of herself?

"Not exactly." Charlie mumbled, looking distinctly uncomfortable. He stepped away from the wall, holding his hands out earnestly.

"I can't believe this. YOU. You KNOW how I feel about him. How we all feel about him!" Lana shoved a hand through her messy hair again, laughing emptily. "How I thought YOU felt about him! Well," She added through gritted teeth, "Apparently not. You've just been plotting with him, behind my back."

Lana was vaguely aware that her voice was rising, but it was beyond her control.

"What did you think Charles? Did you think you could just leave me until I stop going crazy? Do you think that this is going away and then you can get back you're perfectly sane girlfriend like nothing ever changed!"

"No, of course not. I love you; I assumed you wouldn't take me back. I'm doing this FOR you."

"Are you sure? Are you sure you don't just want to avoid me until I'm better."

"Stop it." Charlie cut in swiftly, his own anger mounting. "Stop talking like that. I know you're ill Lana, it changes nothing."

Lana smiled through tears. "Yes it does." She whispered, slowly moving closer to Charlie. "Don't think that I don't understand, because I do."

Lana took a deep, steadying breath. She stopped a metre away from Charlie and watched him curiously. "You left me so that I had one less death sentence. The problem is, I still have 2 more. What you're doing changes nothing. I'm. Still. Dying."

"Don't say that." Charlie whispered in reply, shaking his head. "There's still hope. You're getting better."

"I'm not Charlie. I'm sorry, but I'm not." Lana took another breath and wiped her tears away. "I'm going to die and I'm going to die without you. This is it. The end."

"I'm sorry." Charlie said quietly, stepping closer to Lana.

"Too late now." Lana murmured, turning away. "Why don't you run back to Dumbledore."

Then the world faded to black and all Lana could feel was pain. And then Lewis's crisp voice rang in her mind, echoing over and over sickeningly. Lana pummelled the floor which she appeared to be lying on, her ears ringing with his voice.

'_Hmm, I know. Instead of killing you… I'm going to injure you and then kill your boyfriend whilst you're stuck in hospital, knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do.'_

Lana shook her head defiantly, needlessly. Lewis wasn't really there, but how she wished he was. Charlie was no longer her boyfriend. Lewis was wrong. He was wrong.

Yet, in her head Lana heard her own broken voice. It was desperate and weak, as she had been at the time.

"_No... Please." _

Lana trembled at her own words, but shuddered as Lewis's voice filled her head once again.

'_Oh, poor little Lana. It's been fun playing, but play times over.'_

_But play times over….. Play times over…. play times over…_

Over and over, the phrase repeated. Just as Lana was sure she was going to go insane, it finally faded out and the world was illuminated once more, though she was no longer on the cold stone of the floor.

"No," Lana breathed breathlessly, completely out of it. "Let me die."

….….….….….….….

"I'm sorry." Charlie didn't know what else he could say to make it better. He realized him mistake now, but it was too late. From the look on Lana's face alone he could tell that there was no going back now. No forgiveness for what he'd done.

He'd broken her heart.

"Too late now." Lana spoke quietly, confirming what Charlie had been thinking. It was the next thing that really hit Charlie hard. "Why don't you run back to Dumbledore." That was harsh. Charlie watched as Lana turned away, though her frail body could only stumble in her attempt to get away from him.

In the blink of an eye, Lana's knees buckled and she smacked into the stone floor. Charlie leapt forwards, any arguments forgotten as he sat beside her, pulling her back onto his knee.

"HELP ME!" Charlie yelled as Lana began thrashing, her whole body trembling. With one arm, Charlie attempted to restrain her movements. He body was sliding away from him, back onto the floor so he pulled her back up, terrified. Her screaming was as horrific as ever, loud and endless despite the fact she was running rapidly out of breath.

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, SOMEONE HELP ME!"

The Defence classroom door from which Charlie had been kicked out of just minutes before, flung open and Crownley flew out of the door. The rest of the class watched from the doorway, but they were the least of Charlie's worries as Lana's head began shaking from side to side.

Crownley kneed beside the both of the Gryffindors and grabbed Lana's thin wrists together in one hand, stopping her arms from flailing and causing herself more damage.

"How often does this happen?" Crownley asked uneasily, resting his forearm on Lana's legs to keep them still.

Charlie stuttered as Tonks, Noah and Elena burst from the classroom. Noah was at the back, his face red. It looked very much like he'd been trying to hold the girls back, but had inevitably failed.

"We don't know." Tonks said sharply, answering the professor's question. "_Thing's _trigger bad memories and she…she can't help it." Tonks's voice lowered but everyone still heard. All eyes were pointed at Charlie but he ignored them, brushing hair from Lana's pallid face.

Lana's screams began to soften and Crownley slipped his arm underneath her knees, lifting her almost effortlessly. "Class Dismissed." He said firmly, glaring at the nosey class.

Charlie clambered off the floor, trailing after the Professor and his friends. Luckily they were quite close to the infirmary. However, Lana's fit was already over. Her eyes flickered open and through laboured breathing, they heard her whisper: "No, let me die."

Charlie stopped just short of the hospital wing and the others entered without him, leaving him staring through the doors as they closed.

"Please, don't let her die." He whispered to the empty corridor. Charlie wasn't a religious wizard, but he prayed all the same.

….….….….….….….

The next few hours were hectic, to say the least. Lana slipped in and out of consciousness, awaking to different people each time. Eventually the noise and fuss in the infirmary died down and Lana decided it was time to wake up. She propped herself up on her elbows and took a moment to let her eyes adjust to the light.

"Afternoon." Nott bid her, looking up from a book and watching her amusedly. Lana wrinkled her nose at him silently and looked around before finally laying back into her pillows.

"Hey. What time is it?" She asked, the first of many questions floating around in her head.

"Half way through 5th period. McGonagall stormed in about an hour ago, demanding your friends to go to her lesson."

Lana let out a low whistle, almost smirking. "What did she say?"

Nott smirked easily, dropping his book by Lana's feet and leaning back in his chair. "I believe her exacts words were 'if you're not in lesson, you're won't see me picking on Weasley.' Which is by far, the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life." Nott continued to grin effortlessly, his pearly white teeth gleaming.

"I should feel guilty." Lana said after a moments thought, "But I really don't." she added with a sheepish grin.

"Well, that's knocked McGonagall's statement out of the running. Congratulations, you're in first place!" Nott sat up straighter, awaiting further information. "Wait, before I ask, Are you alright? Apparently you did yourself some real damage."

Lana flexed her fingers and toes thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know. I was unconscious. Whatever I did has clearly been fixed or else I'd probably be crying right now." She surmised, shrugging a little. "So, ask away?"

"What's changed between now and Saturday night? The last time we spoke you were devastated and convinced that Weasley wasn't in the wrong, yet now you're not feeling guilty anymore?"

Sighing, Lana folded her arms. "There was a development. Don't get me wrong, I'm still devastated. I still love him and I doubt that can ever change… but he went to _Dumbledore_."

"Dumbledore… As in, your grandfather Dumbledore?" Nott asked, his face positively blank. He stared just over Lana's shoulder, though he didn't look like he was really seeing anything.

"The very one."

Nott blew out for a long moment and scratched his chin absent-mindedly. "I always thought he was a bit thick." he commented airily. "After everything you've told me about Dumbledore and what he did to you last Easter was it?"

"Exactly!" Lana said sharply, shaking her head. "He's already tried to split us up once and, thank god, we survived it. I leave him alone for one second; he meets Dumbledore and throws all of our hard work out the window."

Nott nodded as she Lana began ranting about how betrayed she felt and how stupid Charlie was too fall for Dumbledore's tricks, how much she despised her grandfather and all his petty lies.

When she finally ran out of words, the bell for the end of school had rang and the Gryffindors were surely on their way up from lessons.

"Thanks for listening Cal," Lana sighed, propping her cushions up further. Nott froze in his seat, an eyebrow arched.

"Cal?" He asked, his tone flat.

"Oh come on, Calloway is such a mouthful!" Lana pleaded, batting cartoon eyes up at the slytherin.

Nott groaned, patting his sleek hair distractedly. "What does it matter, you won't listen to me. Call me what you want."

Lana giggled, her eyes twinkling. "Okay… Betty."

"I give up." Nott muttered, smirking all the same. "I'm off. See you around."

"Bye!"

Lana was waiting mere minutes before Tonks and Elena burst through the hospital screen, smiling brightly.

"Good afternoon darling." Tonks fawned, conjuring a comfy pink armchair and dropping into it with ease, smiling madly.

"Hey." Lana replied, rubbing her eyes. "Can you ask Poppy whether I can leave? If I have to stare at this curtain for much longer I will go insane."

Lana didn't miss the look that Nymphadora and Elena shared but chose to ignore it, scraping her tangled hair into a messy bun atop her head.

"Sure," Elena smiled unconvincingly and withdrew from the room, glancing back awkwardly before the screen shut behind her.

"Nott did stay with you, didn't he? I swear, if he didn't I'll pummel him into the ground-"

"Of course he did Nymph." Lana chuckled, shaking her head. "He left like a minute ago; I'm surprised you didn't pass him."

"I did." Tonks told her cheerfully, "But he could've been lying to me."

Lana sighed heavily, sitting up straighter. "Please tell me that you're kidding? You have to trust him Tonks, or else he's just going to feel alienated."

Tonks made a sort of 'Mergh' face and blew out loudly. "I do, I do." She brushed off the statement with a wave of her hand.

Lana folded her arms crossly, sceptical.

Elena returned then, followed by Poppy whose expression filled Lana with apprehension. Lana found herself watching as Elena and Tonks exited the room, looking mildly miffed off.

"How're you feeling, Lana?" Poppy asked softly, sitting in the chair that Tonks had just vacated.

"Fine. My arm tingles a bit, but I'm guessing that it's been charmed?"

"Yes. You dislocated your shoulder, but I fixed it up."

"Thanks." Lana mumbled, flexing her fingers again. Merlin bless magic, she thought, without it she'd be in a lot of pain.

"Not at all. I've been speaking to Healer Payton. He thinks that you might benefit from a break from school. After all, these… episodes, only really began when you returned to school."

Episodes? Is that what they were calling it? No wonder Elena and Tonks shared a look when Lana declared she was going insane. They probably thought she was.

"No, I can't leave school. I have OWL's to prepare for. Besides, they don't last long and I feel fine after them. You need to just let me get on with the day after one, just carry on as normal."

Poppy frowned, touching her fingertips together in thought. "I know it's hard being different Lana, but you simply can't continue on as normal. After the incident this morning you had a dislocated shoulder, a sprained ankle and severe bruising. Did you really expect to just get up and get on with it when you woke up?"

"Fine!" Lana snapped. "Then give me something to stop me hurting myself. Petrify me when it happens so I can't do myself any damage and silence me so I don't disturb anyone else!"

"Then you would be trapped inside your own mind! A nightmare without any escape. How would we know when it was over?"

"I am NOT leaving school." Lana said forcefully, her forest green eyes flashing dangerously. "I know that I'm being difficult Poppy, but what do you expect? You can't just ship me off somewhere to get better."

"We have to try Lana. There are too many people here that care about you to watch you in pain."

"I'm not in pain." Lana lied steadily, staring Poppy straight in the eyes. A part of her felt very pleased that she still had such wonderful lying abilities. "I'm fine. Look at me. Everything in my life's perfect. I have all my friends," save for Charlie, "I have good grades, a steady home and I'm not being hunted by a crazy slytherin! What else do I need to make me happy?!"

"Is there nothing I can say to convince you?" Poppy asked quietly, her eyes beseeching.

"No. I'm sorry Poppy. I am. But if I'm still at school and I'm still with my friends, then I can still pretend that everything's okay. That everything is _going to be _okay." Lana's voice softened, her forest eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

Poppy said nothing as she stood for a moment and then sat, perching on the edge of Lana's bed. She wrapped her arms around the younger girl and Lana couldn't find the will to object as tears trickled silently down her cheeks.

"You're mother would be so proud of you Lana, so proud." Poppy told the crying Gryffindor stated, her voice gentle but firm and thick with tears. "I'm so sorry that she's not here for you."

Lana wiped her eyes quickly, willing the seemingly endless tears to dry up. "Don't be sorry. I know she's waiting for me." More tears spilled from Lana's eyes as she remembered her mother. He beautiful, wonderful mother. It was so hard to picture her. To imagine her. She could barely remember her life before her parents deaths, having only been a child, but it mattered little. What was 7 years compared to the eternity she'd be offered in death? What was it Dumbledore always told her? Death is an adventure or something? Lana giggled into Poppy's shoulder, much to the matron's confusion. If he thought that so much then why didn't he hurry up and die?

"I know you don't like it Lana, but I'd feel much better if you agreed to sleep here tonight. You can attend lessons tomorrow, but if you are having a bad day- you might have a bad night too."

As much as she wanted, Lana couldn't find the will to protest. Stupid mothers old friend making her feel stupidly emotional. Stupid Charlie for putting her here in the first place. Stupid Dumbledore for making Charlie do what he did.

Stupid Dumbledore. It may not have been his fault directly but it felt a hundred times better to blame him.

"If you want." She muttered in reply, leaning back into her plump pillows and feeling completely drained. Just minutes ago she'd been raring to leave, but now she wouldn't mind staying to sleep peacefully. To avoid the talk was a blessing in itself.

After talking Lana through some new medication, Poppy left her alone with the intention of visiting her professor's to let them know of the new circumstances of Lana's condition. They had agreed, should the situation arise, that the best option for everyone would be to silence Lana's screams in the event of a 'fit' and try to restrain her. If worst came to worst, Lana insisted that she be petrified still- though Poppy objected to this, saying it was inhumane.

After Poppy's departure, Elena and Dora returned to Lana's bedside, now accompanied by Noah. They sat and chatted for an hour or so before Lana looked at the time and frowned.

"You do realize you've missed Dinner, don't you?" She asked, arching an eyebrow. It was most unusual for Tonks, especially, to miss a meal.

"Yeah. We'll get something from the kitchens later." Elena answered, waving her hand down casually before she attempted to change the subject.

Lana wasn't fooled and gazed at them expectantly, her face stubborn. "Well?" She asked sharply.

"See, the thing is Lana," Tonks finally spoke up, her pink hair becoming dark blue. "When you came to defence, you didn't exactly keep your argument quiet."

"Well, we heard you're shouts. But mainly, everyone heard Charlie because he was right outside the door." Noah inputted quietly, his dark eyes looking unnaturally sombre.

"And what did you hear?" Lana questioned tiredly. She couldn't really remember much of what she'd said. Her emotions had really gotten the better of her that time.

"Well." Elena looked from Tonks back to Lana, her hands wringing in her lap. "We heard Charlie saying something at first, but no one in the class was really listening because we were doing work."

"Right." Tonks cut in. "But then we heard you shouting about Dumbledore. Everyone went quiet to listen and it was really awkward." the metamorphmagus stated, somewhat bluntly.

"Because it was silent in the classroom, we heard pretty much everything after that. Charlie said that you being ill changes nothing. You told him you were… going to die." Noah rubbed his eyes tiredly as Lana stared at him, her mouth open in shock. "It went kind of quiet after that." He added frowning.

"Yeah, but only for like a second." Tonks informed Lana impatiently, "Next thing we know, you're screaming and Charlie's calling for help."

"What happened then?" Lana asked, feeling relatively numb. They'd heard? They'd all heard her confess that she was going to die. Would connections start to be made? Would people realize what she really was? The things she'd done? Lana shuddered to herself.

"We all rushed out." Elena murmured, "Some later than others." she added with a glare in Noah's direction. The boy didn't seem fazed in the slightest and ignored her easily. "And we waited with you until you calmed down a little bit, and then Crownley carried you here."

"So they know." Lana sighed, kicking her sheets angrily. She wasn't actually angry. Just frustrated. Okay. So she was a little angry, she admitted to herself.

"They know. Everyone knows, Lana. We couldn't stop it. They all know."

Lana froze. It was like her world was made of glass. When all the crappy stuff that had happened to her since she was 7 was a like a hammer to the glass, leaving cracks and chips. But this was the last straw. The glass shattered around her, leaving her stood in a broken, dangerous world that she would never be able to negotiate without hurting herself.

Because the fact was, that the entirety of Hogwarts School was now aware of her 'condition.'

….….….….….….….

It took a long while for Lana to get to sleep that night, but eventually she drifted off- _only to find herself stood in the astronomy tower with her grandfather, a raven haired boy and a blonde haired boy, with a striking resemblance to Lucius Malfoy. Anger was the only emotion that Lana felt, as she raised her wand and cast the killing curse. Dumbledore fell backwards, over the balcony- though not before Lana got a proper look at his empty blue eyes. His dead eyes. _

_So why was the dark haired boy crying? Intrigued, Lana swept over to him. His tear filled eyes were heartbreakingly familiar. Vivid green. Not at all like her own. His were emeralds. Hers were forests. _

_Forests._

_Lana blinked and found herself in the forbidden forest, surrounded by men dressed in black cloaks and masks, no different from the night her parents died. Death Eaters._

_There was high pitched, haunting laughter and then a beam of green in the green in the forest. Lana dived in front of it, but it passed right through her and hit the boy in the chest. She couldn't see the caster, nor did she want to, as she hurried to kneel beside the dead boy. _

_After a moment, she stood and wiped her damp eyes on her sleeve. As she uncovered her eyes, she realized she had moved again. She was stood beside Hagrid in the school courtyard, facing a hundred of so witches and wizards. They all looked so sad. So very sad. _

_"HARRY POTTER IS DEAD!" Someone cried out triumphantly. _

_Chaos ensued as the crowds gazed at the body of Harry Potter. Even Lana found herself drawn to his pale, mucky face. He looked so peaceful, unlike the world around him. _

_Everyone was screaming and shouting, swearing and crying. But none more loudly then a few Gryffindors who had pushed to the front of the crowds. The sounds they made filled Lana with agony and despair._

_The first had bushy brown hair and looked absolutely devastated; clinging to a freckle faced ginger man who was also shouting. Despite his weird new adulthood, Lana couldn't miss Ronald for a mile. He was so obviously the little boy he was now that it was heartbreaking. He was so sad. _

_And then another red head appeared opposite her. Those honey brown eyes and scarlet hair she was so accustomed to seeing, wrecked with blood, dirt and pain. Ginny screamed the loudest, tears cascading down her face leaving trenches in the muck that was there. Lana struggled to get to her, but found the Weasleys and the brown haired girl getting further and further away until they began to fade away._

_Everything went white until Lana stood, staring at her own reflection in a long mirror. She was wearing a long white dress. The dress was beautiful and delicate. Her dark hair was tied in a loose bun and small fragile flowers were weaved throughout her tresses. _

_She looked like she was getting married. Getting married? Unlikely. Her brain was taunting her. Making her miss a life she could never have. Grieve for her own wasted future._

Lana woke up, realizing she was being shook by Poppy. She reacted quickly, sitting bolt upright and pushing hair from her face. "Parchment! Get me a quill and parchment now!"

Poppy raced from the room and returned moments later with a writing set, handing it quickly to Lana. Lana didn't thank her, she didn't have time. She needed to write it all down before she forgot, like she always did.

She began scribbling her mess of dreams down rapidly, her handwriting barely eligible to anyone but herself- Making poppy peer over her shoulder confusedly. When she ran out of details that she could remember, Lana dropped the quill and leant back into her cushions, folding the parchment up and holding it tight to her.

"Thanks Poppy, sorry for the fuss." She said quickly. She may have only just woken up, but she was wide awake.

"Not at all. You were muttering, shaking… I assumed you were having a bad dream?" The matron prompted, clearly wanting to know more.

"Not a bad dream…" Lana murmured, tightening her grip on the parchment absent-mindedly. Well, she had murdered her own grandfather. "Just an informative one." she finished happily.

Poppy frowned and sighed. "You're not going to tell me, are you?" It was more of a statement then a question and Lana grinned apologetically.

"No. Sorry." she giggled.

….….….….….….….

Before heading to breakfast, Lana returned to the Gryffindor Tower to shower and change. After getting ready, she still had a good half hour before breakfast so she, Tonks and Elena began clearing out her trunk of all Charlie-related things.

Lana conjured a cardboard box and they sat, talking softly as they packed the many items into it. It filled quickly and Lana conjured another box. The mood was a little dim as they went through the break up system, but they managed to keep some light conversation going.

Lana drifted off as Elena informed them of her growing crush on Art Bones. It wasn't really something that interested Lana. For some reason, she'd never really wanted anything to do with Art's love life. Still, her attention was caught by a little empty cage on her bedside cabinet.

Surely her dragon couldn't have just disappeared, so where was it? Had it escaped its cage? Lana sat on her bed and reached forwards easily, plucking the cage from its rightful place. It was, indeed, empty. Lana stared at it for a moment, aware that Elena had trailed off and that her friends were watching her.

Lana tossed it in her hands, seeing the little label on the underside of the cage. It read '_upon death dragon will vanish to reduce risk of fake dragonhide sales__' _Lana stared at it once more, her eyes widening in twisted grief. It was only an animated little dragon, not exactly a person or a pet.

So why did it hurt so much?

Because Charlie had gotten it her. Was his dead too? Questions she'd never get answered fleeted through her mind before she finally tore her gaze away from the cage and looked to Tonks and Elena. "Dead." She explained, throwing the cage up in the air and catching it again.

"When d'you think it died?" Tonks asked softly, holding out her hands for Lana to throw it at her.

Lana did so and stared blankly as she dropped it into the 'Charlie Box.'

"A long time ago." She replied dully. "Hey, could you… _When_… If." Lana replaced, scolding herself silently. "_If _I die without reconciling with Charlie. Or with, as well I suppose. Could you make sure he gets all this stuff?" She asked quietly, gesturing to the 2 full boxes of items.

"Of course." Tonks smiled weakly in reply. Lana sighed as they slid the boxes under her bed and stood, brushing their trousers down fussily.

"Right. Let's go to breakfast."


	9. Silences and Conversations

Chapter 9 - Silences and Words

To say that the Great Hall silenced as Lana entered would be the greatest understatement of the century. Not a single person spoke as she arrived at the door. Every single pair of eyes were on her as she followed Tonks to the Gryffindor Table, From Snape's to Nott's to Lucy's and Crownley's.

What irked Lana, wasn't that they were all watching her, because she had expected that. It was that _they weren't even trying_ to hide it. Nobody was. Had she been the centre of attention so often that people now assumed she was used to it? That she didn't care?

Lana sat, her back against the far wall. It may have been paranoid, but she wanted to face them. She didn't want them looking at her back.

The school's stillness continued as Lana poured herself some juice. She sipped it and looked up to a sea of faces, all staring at her. She could spot a people in particular. McGonagall and Dumbledore seemed to be having some kind of silent argument as McGonagall had turned away from Lana to face him.

Lana dragged her gaze away and glared at the students once again, itching to grab her wand and curse them all. After several endless, antagonizing moments, Lana's restraint snapped.

"WELL TALK THEN." She bellowed, her voice echoing in the great hall.

As soon as she'd spoken, or shouted rather, conversation picked up. Across the hall, people realized their mistake and desperately attempted to fill the silence with sound to appease Lana. But the damage was already done.

Lana drained her pumpkin juice and slammed it back down on the table. "I'm going for a walk. I'll meet you in defence." She told Elena and Tonks. Noah had chosen to sit with Charlie that morning.

The girls nodded sadly and let Lana walk away without protest. Really, she didn't want to go for a walk. She'd just wear herself out as per usual. Her mind was too occupied so a walk would do her some good, but she got far too tired far too quickly nowadays.

It seemed like half her attention was working on deciphering her dreams of that morning and the other half was rapidly flicking between furious and devastated, borderline depressed.

Stupid Charlie. Stupid Dumbledore. Stupid school, she thought glumly.

Stupid dreams that she didn't understand. It was the future. It had to be the future or else Ginny and Ronald wouldn't be older. So why was her imagination decided to make her watch Ginny and Ron and their mysterious brunette friend, suffer? Not to mention that they were crying for Harry Potter.

None of it made sense.

Especially not the last part. The part where she'd been dressed as a bride. She would never live long enough to get married anyway, so what had all that been about? Besides, she hadn't even seen a groom. Well, not that she could remember.

Lana hurried up the stairs, unsure of where she was going. She decided to just wait outside the defence classroom for lessons to start in 15 minutes. No sooner then she had slumped on the floor outside the classroom, Crownley appeared from breakfast. "Is there a reason you're waiting outside my classroom, Titch?" He asked, smirking somewhat as he towered over her.

"I was under the impression that I have defence first, or am I mistaken?" Lana asked sharply, folding her arms over.

"Nope. But lessons don't start for like a quarter of an hour." Crownley said bemusedly, scratching his head.

"So sue me. I wasn't gonna stay in that hall for another 20 minutes pretending like I'm fine." Lana shrugged and stared at the wall opposite her, her face emotionless.

"Come inside. At least sit on a proper chair instead of the floor." Crownley sighed, extending Lana a hand.

Lana eyed it thoughtfully but then took it and stood up, with far too much effort. Stupid weak body. Stupid school. Lana repeated to herself angrily. She followed Crownley into the classroom and sunk into a chair opposite his desk quickly, tying her hair back from her face.

"You alright after yesterday? I didn't expect to see you for a few days at least." Crownley said distractedly as he began preparing for their lesson.

"I'll live. There's no point sitting in the hospital wing for the rest of my life is there?" Lana laughed hollowly, propping her head up with her fist. Truthfully, there wasn't much point in remaining at Hogwarts for the rest of her life either- but it's what she wanted. To be close to the people she loved.

"Oh yes, Poppy spoke to us about that. She wants us to silence you if you start screaming and wait until you've stopped shaking to take the charm off." Crownley looked up, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Which doesn't seem very likely really."

Lana snorted, shaking her head. "If I had it my way you'd silence me, petrify me and carry on teaching but apparently that's not nice." Lana sighed theatrically, blowing her overgrown fringe from her face once again.

"You're unbelievable." Crownley laughed. "That'd drive anyone insane. Being trapped inside your own mind with no outlet."

But Lana could deal with it, couldn't she? How many years had she been having nightmares? Well, this was no different. She didn't want to interrupt other people's learning. She didn't want to be the centre of attention, with everyone looking at her and talking about her constantly. Yet she couldn't bring herself to leave the school. To be close to Dora and Noah and Elena was what kept her going. It was more than the school she had once hated. It was her life. The people inside the school were the people who encouraged her and helped her to stay strong. Lana couldn't imagine life with McGonagall and Nott, Snape and Poppy. They may have disagreed on certain things a lot, especially with Snape, but they were a major part of her life.

Besides, how could she leave Hogwarts? How could she leave it for good, knowing that her parents had once roamed these corridors as she did. How could she say goodbye to Amie's old bed and everything else?

Lana turned back to Crownley and sighed once more, realizing she'd let the conversation die.

"Do you think I've changed Crownley? … I think I've changed."

Crownley looked up again his face amused. "Everyone changes Lana. Even me."

"Come on Crownley!" Lana protested, "Tell me honestly."

Crownley leant back in his chair and looked at Lana wryly. "Of course you've changed. What did you expect? When I met you, you were a kid. You were small and cheery. Happy and normal. For the most part, anyway."

Crownley sighed, looking older than Lana could believe. It was still easy to think of him as the sarcastic git who'd shown them how to play a proper game of quidditch in their second year. Now he was a fully grown man, and a clever one at that.

"But now, you're not so happy anymore. I don't think you ever let your guard down."

"Is that a bad thing? Look at the world we live in. Everyone looks out for themselves, I'm no different."

"You don't let people help you, and it's going to kill you." Crowley corrected, shaking his head. "And I think you know that."

Lana smirked in spite of herself. "I don't know what you mean." She said airily, drumming her fingers on the desk in front of her softly. "I'm going to live forever."

The door to the classroom swung open and Elena and Tonks entered, looking rather confused by Lana's presence.

"Uhm, you're early." Tonks pointed out, standing quite still by the door.

"Dumbledore was just waiting for lesson to start Tonks. So don't stand there blocking the door."

Tonks reacted quickly and slid into the desk behind Lana whilst Elena sat next to her. After her talk with Crownley, Lana certainly didn't feel any happier about the morning. But she felt a lot calmer and at least that was something.

…...

Lana didn't bother going to lunch or dinner that day, too angry with the school to even attempt being around people again. Instead, she retreated to the girl's dorm to do some reading- nibbling on the platter of sandwiches that Nora had brought her.

The area around her bed was a mess, after their hurried morning of trunk sorting. As dinner began to come to an end, Lana finally decided to tidy up- before Dora and Elena returned to find she'd done nothing but mope all afternoon.

Whilst chucking the various items back into her trunk, Lana spotted a book that she'd taken out that morning but paid no attention to at the time. Still, her attention was full caught now as she collected the dusty book and plonked down on her bed, flicking through the pages easily. It had been a good few months since she'd thought about her wand, which was odd seeing as though it was the cause of most of her troubles. Though another piece of the puzzle had just slotted into place.

The third carving. The third trial she had passed to earn herself a one way ticket to death.

It made such sense now. Obviously, way back in her first year when they'd first began researching the carvings she couldn't have possibly realized how serious they were.

The third carving apparently meant that she would undergo pain from love.

Lana had undergone pain from love. Because she loved Charlie, but he had left her under the guidance of the man she hated.

That left 2 more carvings. Lana's eyes scanned over the page, a numbness overcoming her leaving her feeling hollow. The next one meant hope. Hope? What hope did she have? What could possibly get her hopes up when the next Rune after that was the final one. Merlin's symbol. Dying for the one she loved.

Lana sighed and snapped the book shut, leaving her surrounded in a cloud of dust. She dumped it in her trunk and heaved the lid back shut, shoving it under her bed once again.

For some unknown reason, Lana suddenly began to feel better. What was the point in being depressed? Sure, the mere thought of Charlie made her want to curl up in a ball and cry. And yes, she had a greater chance of dying at any moment then a 190 year old. But she was alive for now and she had wonderful friends and wonderful teachers. People who cared about her, just as Crownley had said.

Even when she died, she would see her parents again.

It was really a win-win situation.

Lana finished tidying up, whistling as she did so. She was going to stop being angry at the world. She was going to liven up and start taking care of herself again. She was going to attempt to be the girl she had been in her first year, even if it killed her.

…...

"Who are you and what have you done with Lana Dumbledore?" Tonks asked, her eyes wide and blue as she stared at Lana the next morning, having just woken up.

Lana had risen as early as ever, though it wasn't by choice. She went for a run, or at least tried to. It was difficult as she'd stopped running months ago and was rather weak at that moment. Upon returning to the dorms, she showered and washed her hair properly. She brushed it for once so it no longer looked like a lion's mane, but rather it fell in sleek, dark waves. Her face was ridiculously pallid in Lana's opinion, more so than usual. It was no wonder that people had guessed she was ill- she looked like a snowman. So, Lana had put on a touch of make-up in the vain attempt to add some colour to her face. She had her best school clothes on, though they were mainly hidden by her thick cloak and scarf.

Lana grinned down at her best friend, hands on her hips. "Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore, and don't worry. You're best friend is perfectly safe." Lana giggled, watching Tonks from the end of her bed. "You, on the other hand, are going to miss breakfast if you don't get up now. Chop chop. I'll see you in 10 minutes."

With that, Lana turned on her heel and hurried from the room. Her decision of the night before had really stuck with her overnight. It had been all she could think off as she tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. It really wasn't fair to her friends to have to put up with her being constantly depressed and snappy.

She was truly surprised that they hadn't all slapped her until she came to her senses.

Still, Lana thought as she hurried down to breakfast, she supposed they pitied her. After all, they did know she was going to die.

Lana smiled brightly as no emotions came with her sentence. Normally she would have felt angry or bitter, but now she felt nothing. It no longer mattered. It wasn't that Lana was suicidal, that she wanted to die. She just recognized that there was more to life then living.

It had been her excuse for so long. 'I'll live and act how I want because I don't have that much time left to live.' Except she'd wasted the past 4 years either in detention, doing something to get into detention, in the hospital wing, or doing something to get herself in the hospital wing.

Lana laughed to herself as she strode into the great hall and the entire school silence once more, staring at her confusedly. Was this really the same girl they'd seen yesterday? The broken, fragile and tragic Lana Dumbledore?

It couldn't be, the entire school concluded as they restarted their gossiping conversations. Lana strode straight past her ex-boyfriend and his brother and found a seat beside Lucy who smiled up at her, dimples in her cheeks.

"Lana! You look amazing!" Lucy beamed, filling Lana's heart with warmth.

"Thank you Lucy." She replied brightly, pouring herself a pumpkin juice. "Hey, I need to tell you something."

Lucy looked inquisitive, quirking an eyebrow up.

Taking a deep breath, Lana rested her elbows on the table and locked her fingers together thoughtfully. "I know this is a bit annoying, as it is mid season, but I have to quit the team."

Lucy's reaction was expected. Her eyes flashed and her mouth opened to form an angry protest, though she was cut off by Lana.

"Lucy. Listen to me. I'm not backing down this time, I should have done this long ago. It's not just about ch-Charlie." Lana bit the word out hurriedly, her face heating as she realized how pathetic she sounded. "Because that wouldn't stop me in a million years. You know that. I love playing quidditch and I especially love playing quidditch with you. You're my most favourite partner ever."

Lucy smiled, though it didn't quite reach her sparkling eyes.

"The thing is. The rumours that are going around school right now, they're true. Imagine what would happen if I was up in the air and then suddenly I just had a fit. It would disrupt the game, cause even more rumours and I'd most likely nearly kill myself falling off my broom mid-air." Lana paused, looking beseechingly into the younger girls eyes. "You do understand, don't you."

Lucy huffed, folding her arms. "Yes. But I don't have to like it. And you better still come and watch me because you're the reason I'm even on the team." Lucy warned her, her forehead furrowed.

"Don't be silly. You were the most talented one there. Anyone would have picked you."

Lucy simply rolled her eyes, unfolding her arms as she went to drink her juice.

Lana smiled as she watched her younger friend for a moment and then forced herself into plating up some breakfast for Tonks. Lana herself, thought she was never normally a fan of eating so early, ate some fresh fruit. She had half a mind to only eat foods that Nora brought her, after all the trouble of last year when her food was poisoned with weakening solutions and hallucinogenics, but that was probably being over paranoid. She didn't want to end up like Moody.

Lana glanced around as she ate, paying particular attention to the teachers table. McGonagall smiled at her warmly, as if approving her new state of mind. Crownley smirked at her, nodding his head. Snape didn't appear to notice her watching them all and carried on listening to Professor Binns, looking beyond bored.

Lana giggled as she turned back to Lucy. "You're going to have so much fun these next few years Lucy. Just you wait and see."

"Oh yes, because I've heard OWL's being compared to picking flowers." Lucy quipped sarcastically, though not unkindly.

"OWL's?" Lana smirked, "OWL's are a breeze. You'll walk through them Lucy." She insisted, though Lucy didn't seem convinced.

Not long after that, the girls were joined by Noah, Dora and Elena. Lana told them about her decision to quit the quidditch team and much to her surprise, she faced a lot more protest from Noah then she did Lucy. He finally gave up, looking very red and very annoyed.

"Oh calm down Noah." Tonks scolded her boyfriend, slapping his shoulder lightly. "What matters is that Lana is happy with her decision. Are you happy, Lana?"

Lana looked from Lucy to Noah then back to Dora, smiling softly. "Yes. I Am." she finally decided. Or at least, a long way away from sad.

…...

A few hours and a lunch later, Lana found herself setting up a cauldron in potions. They were attempting to make a drought of peace, having been researching it for about a month. Apparently, it was one of the more difficult potions on the OWL syllabus and there was usually a long question on it in the theory exam, so Lana was going to attempt to do it properly.

"Perhaps, for today, it would be better to break up your little friendship groups." Snape said suddenly, his cool voice loud from the front of the classroom. Lana looked up in surprise, pausing in her preparations in case she had to move. "After all, this requires complete and undivided attention. So. Dumbledore with Nott, Diggory with Simpkins, Tonks with Taylor, Shepherd with Bones and Weasley, I think with Edwards."

Lana had to bite her cheeks to stop herself from bursting out in laughter. God bless Snape, and there's something she truly never thought she'd think. He'd out Charlie with probably the ugliest, most high pitched and doglike girl in Slytherin.

"What are you grinning at?" Nott asked amusedly as he arrived at her table, bag on his back.

Lana said nothing, but flicked her eyes at Charlie and Vicky Edwards who was now painting her nails slowly.

Nott chuckled as he unpacked his things, causing Lana to burst out laughing.

"Ooh, if I didn't hate him so much I'd probably feel for the guy." Nott relented quietly, smirking still. "But, as it happens I do hate him so.."

Lana's smile faded as she began to work, crushing her moonstone into a fine powder. They fell into silence as they worked, rather well together as far as Lana could tell. An hour into the double period, they seemed to be right on track. They let the potion simmer as they began writing up their observations onto their parchments.

Only one other pairing were remotely close to finishing as they were, so they had enough time to talk as they worked. Still, they kept their voices down as Snape patrolled the classroom.

"Did I see you running around the lake this morning?" Calloway asked suddenly, frowning.

Lana flamed red, glad that the dungeons were this dark. "Yes. If you can call that running. I haven't been in a while and I'm not exactly in the best shape right now." Lana muttered, observing the blunt end of her quill. She really needed a new one, soon.

"Well, I think you've got the perfect excuse to be honest." Nott remarked amusedly, causing Lana to giggle.

"I'm sure. I think I'll use it everywhere from now on: 'hey sir, please don't make me write this essay because I'm dying." Lana mocked quietly whilst Nott laughed easily.

"Hey, anyone else would let you off." He said with a boyish grin, his ice eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, I'm sure McGonagall would and Vector? She'd present me with flowers and chocolate for being so brave." Lana giggled, shaking her head.

"You never know, she mi-"

"_What, _pray tell, are you making Mr Weasley?" Lana and Calloway turned around to look at Charlie's table, seeing Snape stood over him and glaring magnificently.

"Draught of Peace, Sir." Charlie said dully, staring ahead but not really seeing anything.

Lana turned around once again. She couldn't decide whether it was because she didn't want to see him getting told off, or she just couldn't bare to look at him. Either way, she could still hear Snape's attack on him.

"That is not the draught of peace Weasley. It's yellow. That-" Snape spat, pointing at Lana and Calloway's work so that Lana flinched, "is how the potion is meant to look! You've added too much Hellebore and turned it into a poison."

Lana clenched her eyes tight shut

_A cross between humiliation, total despair, hopelessness and rage._

"_You can__'__t hurt me anymore Lewis! I__'__m free of you! You see, all this time I was wondering how you__'__ve been doing it, but then it came to me, you've been poisoning me!__"_

"_What does it matter, Dumbledore! I__'__ve still beaten you! I__'__m still the winner here! You__'__re just weak and pathetic.__" Lewis's voice, no more than a hiss: angry and cold._

"_You have no idea what I am. What I have done and what I will do.__I__'__ve killed a room full of death eaters__…__ do you really think I can__'__t kill you?__" _

_Lana, shaking with fury- the desire to kill the boy before her almost overwhelming. For the pain he had caused her and the scars he'd left her with._

"_Oh no, you__'__re as bad as your grandfather. Too. Much. Love.__"_

Too much love. That was it. She had too much love. Lewis had been right. Because despite the fact that Lana hated Charlie for everything he'd done and the mess he'd caused, she still loved him.

Lana quickly came to her senses, thanking Merlin that she wasn't in as much pain as she had been the last time she'd woken up. She was also still sat on her stool, though admittedly there were hands gripping her arms to keep her up. She cracked her eyes open and smiled brightly.

"I'm fine. Sorry Everyone." She said loudly to the class who had all stopped to stare at her.

With some reluctance, they all returned to their work- casting glances over at Lana in turn as she sat up straight and gripped the desk to steady herself. That one hadn't even been bad. Just uncomfortable.

"Fine? Only you could describe what just happened as _fine_, you moron." Nott whispered, his hands still supporting her back though Lana was sure she could manage.

"Sorry." Lana shrugged. It wasn't like she had much control over it… it just happened. "Why, what did happen?" She asked.

"I don't know, I was watching Weasley. I only turned around when you started screaming your head off, nearly fell off your stool." Nott replied, looking distinctly disturbed.

"Did you silence me? Did it work?" Lana asked quickly, turning to face Snape who was looking a cross between intrigued and angry.

"Perhaps you should stay after class, Miss Dumbledore. If you well enough to continue work?"

Lana wrinkled her nose, patting her arms quickly. "I imagine so. Nothing broken this time!" she smirked.

Snape nodded once and swept away to no doubt shout at eavesdroppers or morons. Lana drooped the moment he was gone, burying her face in her hands. She hadn't realized she was screaming at the time. She didn't even understand why she felt the need to scream. That particular memory wasn't good, but it was less… scarring than the others.

She shouldn't have screamed.

Still, she could feel her hoarse throat now. It was a feeling she was entirely far too used to. It was unfair, but there was little she could do to help it.

"You alright." Nott asked quietly, glancing down at her as he extinguished the fire beneath their cauldron and stirred the drought one last time, counter clockwise.

Lana watched him for a moment, amazed at the smoothness of his work. It was like he wasn't concentrating on it at all, yet he was getting every movement correct.

"Embarrassed myself in front of the entire class, I have a wretched sore throat and I can feel Cha… _him _watching me." Lana couldn't bring herself to say his name again. Not after having had another fit in front of him. At least it wasn't _on _him this time. "But sure, I'm great." She added wryly, rubbing her eyes.

Nott smirked, reaching down into his bag with a free hand and pulling out a bottle of water. He chucked it easily at Lana who caught it swiftly and smiled tiredly. "Thanks Cal." She winked and took a long drink. "Will you stay with me to speak to Snape?" She murmured after a while, sliding the bottle back across the table.

"Are you sure?" Nott asked quietly, "Surely Tonks or Elena would stay with you."

"Tonks has Gobstones, Noah has Chess and Elena would much rather go find a nice broom closet with Art. Besides, I'd much prefer your company." Lana added sweetly, biting her lip.

Nott smirked, "Why, because I have such a cheery disposition?" He quipped, grinning.

"No you don't. Which is the exact reason why I like you. See, I'm trying to be happy and positive because things aren't as bad as I keep making then out to be. I'm desperately trying to stop feeling sorry for myself and to just get on with my life, but unless I suddenly start on a course of cheering charms every 3 hours, I'm not going to be able to keep it up all the time." Lana paused for breath, glancing around to make sure they weren't being listened to. "But when I'm with you, I can be miserable as I like and it wont matter in the least." she added with a bright smile.

Nott looked thoughtful but remained silent as he poured the finished drought of peace into several vials and slipped one into his bag and one into Lana's, winking at her sneakily.

"Alright." He finally decided, smirking. "But you have to come to Hogsmeade with me on the next visit. It's early December, I think." he bargained, much to Lana's irritation.

"I don't know Nott, it'll be cold and I'm just tired all the time now. Besides, what if I randomly start screaming. There's no need to-"

"I disagree. Come on Lana, you need to get out the school. I promise you wont have to talk to your friends or do anything. We can just take a walk around the village and then you can go back to bed and wallow in self pity all afternoon."

Lana crossed her arms, looking rather suspicious of Nott's proposition.

"Fine," she relented as the bell rang out and everyone else began to pack away. "Just one lap of the village."

Nott nodded, grinning as he took a vial to the front desk and handed it to Snape.

When he returned, Lana had already packed away for them and smiled brightly passing him his silver dagger. "I think we did well today. Thanks for catching me, by the way."

Nott rolled his eyes, "Well it was hard. You're pretty heavy you know." The sarcasm in his voice was evident, but Lana still felt that niggle of self-doubt that no doubt every single girl in the room experienced at some point. "Merlin Lana, I was kidding. You weigh like 4 stone, and you were sat down anyway." He added amusedly, shaking his blonde haired head.

Lana huffed, dumping her bag on the table. "I think you're underestimating a little there. 4 stone? Ha! I wish." She muttered to herself.

It took a while for the potions classroom to empty as most were hanging around to see what Snape wanted to talk to Lana about, but the potions master sent everyone away leaving just Lana, Nott and himself.

"I take it that the silencers didn't work?" Lana asked quietly, staring at the floor.

"They did." Snape began, his tone oddly quiet. Lana was only really used to hearing him snapping, shouting or hissing. "For a moment, at least. You broke through it remarkably quickly."

"I was worried that would happen." Lana mumbled, leaning back on a desk. "It happened last year when I was under the cruciatus. That night you found me in the classroom." she explained softly, aware that Nott's eyes were flicking from her to Snape, confusedly.

"I assumed so." Snape muttered. "The difference is you aren't being put under the cruciatus curse now. I'm curious, Miss Dumbledore, what is it that you saw today?"

Lana swallowed, locking her hands together to stop them from shaking. "Today wasn't bad. It was of the fight in the great hall. I know what triggered it though… You said that he," Lana said pointedly, referring to Charlie, "Had made a poison. So I relived telling Lewis that I knew he'd been poisoning me. Then he told me I was weak. I told him that… that I'd killed before and he told me that I was just like Dumbledore. That I had too much love." Lana finished nervously, glancing sideways to Nott who looked fairly indifferent.

"So they're usually worse then today's?" Snape prompted coolly, ignoring Nott.

"Well, yes I suppose. Most of the time it's just his taunts." Lana confessed, feeling rather childish. It sounded like she was screaming because she was being picked on by a bully.

"So the worst of it is in your nightmares?"

Lana stared. How did he know she was having nightmares?

"Well, besides the fact that Mr Nott here told me you were, anyone can see you're not sleeping."

Lana glared at Nott like he was scum, rage flooding through her mixed with something else that she couldn't decipher. As much as she hated to admit it, it was probably gratitude.

"Gee, thanks." She finally replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Don't take it so personally Dumbledore, you've been the same since you came here."

Fair point, Lana thought amusedly. Though most often, prior to this year, her nights had been filled with snippets of peculiar dreams in which the Weasley children were grown up and she killed Dumbledore repeatedly.

"Are you sure you want Nott here Dumbledore? Because I'm about to tell you something Poppy asked me not to."

"Of course."

"We don't know how to help you." Snape confessed quietly. "We're trying. McGonagall's been on all our cases for months, but we're running out of options. However, there has been an improvement into the research at Mungo's."

"Yes?" Lana asked eagerly, desperate for any good news at that moment in time. She'd basically just been told all hope was lost.

"You have to understand, the mind is a tricky thing, and it's never really been studied before. Physcology isn't thought about in the wizarding world. None the less, they looking into a way to single out memories and remove them."

Lana stared, repeating Snape's words over and over in her head. "And I'll be sane?" She asked brightly, her hands shaking again- though it wasn't out of fear anymore. Pure glee overcame her as she watched Snape nod once.

"However," he continued, his voice quiet but firm. "You are still suffering from the side effects of Arrington's weakening attempts last year. I'm astounded that you aren't dead already, quite frankly. I don't know all the details on that so you'll probably have to speak to Poppy sometime soon."

Lana nodded quickly. She could do that now before dinner. She just hoped she didn't have any new potions to take, because the ones she had already tasted like sick.

"Though it's hard to admit, you are, probably, the only student in this school that can put up with this. Anyone else would be dead already. Keep going, Dumbledore. You're strong enough to get through this."

Lana smiled at the professor, though his eyes were as black as ever and his face was made of stone.

"Thank you, Sir." she said softly. "I'll try." she added.

Snape said nothing else as Lana grabbed her bag and followed Nott out of the classroom. The moment the door shut she clipped his ear angrily. "YOU TOLD ON ME!" she yelled, hitting him repeatedly.

Nott flailed a bit, but Lana stopped after a minute and picked her bag up off the floor.

"I'm sorry." Nott said quietly. "I had to tell someone! You vomited Lana! Who could have a nightmare so bad that it makes them sick?!"

"Me, apparently. Okay. That night was bad. It was a one off. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable but if I tell you I'm fine, like I'm sure I did, you have to accept that."

"No. Because when you say you're fine, you actually mean _'well I'm dying on the inside and the outside, but my hearts still beating for the moment._' So forgive me if I was trying to help you." Nott yelled, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"You can't help me! This isn't like a grazed palm! This is inside my mind and I can't change it! Until you watch your friends getting tortured into insanity every night you can't possibly understand, so leave it!" Lana was yelling now, anger rising up in her like a tidal wave.

"See. This is your problem! You just think you're alone in the world."

"Isn't everyone?" Lana said, her voice dropping to little more than a whisper. "But thank you for pointing out my flaws. I clearly can't do that myself."

Without another word, Lana walked away.

…...

Lana decided that she would visit Poppy straight away and get it over with before she had to face her friends again. Besides, it would give her time to calm down.

So, feeling somewhat grim, Lana traipsed up to the hospital wing and found Poppy in her office.

"Severus said you were on your way up." Poppy murmured before Lana had even knocked on the open door.

"Oh. Can I come in?" Lana asked awkwardly, hovering by the door.

"Of course." Poppy smiled, looking up at last and pulling out a chair for Lana. The Gryffindor took it and faced Poppy seriously.

"So, what's up?"

"Well, I've been observing you." Poppy began, pulling out a hefty folder and flicking through it casually. Lana stared. That couldn't be all about her, could it? With a sigh, she thought back to her file at Mungo's.

"And it's clear that last year took it's toll on you. Not just mentally but physically as well. You're thinner than ever, and don't say it's you because it isn't, you can tell by your face. It's depressingly gaunt."

Lana rolled her eyes to block out the hurt. Gaunt? Well, that was a blunt way of putting it.

"You're eating healthily, as always, but you portions are a lot smaller."

"I'm not always hungry!" Lana protested defensively. She wasn't always hungry at all but she still made herself eat.

Poppy ignored her and continued down her list, "The weakening potions did considerable damage to you; not only to your magic but to your muscles as well. You've probably noticed that you get tired quickly, well done on quitting quidditch by the way. I was about to force Minerva to make you step down."

Lana nodded silently.

"I think your fits use a lot of energy as well, which is another reason you should leave lessons after one."

"I was fine today." Lana shrugged, lying easily. She wasn't fine. She was confused and exhausted, but what did it matter?

Poppy raised an eyebrow. She didn't look convinced but continued on non the less. "You're not sleeping."

"No less than usual." Lana countered coolly, rather fed up now.

"You have been rather depressed recently, all of your teachers had noted it."

"Do forgive me." Said Lana sarcastically.

"You're temper has been getting worse. Your display yesterday morning was, well, startling to say the least."

"What was I meant to do? Just let everyone watch me?!"

Poppy sighed, tucking the folder back away. "Not at all." She smiled weakly. "Healer Payton is able to supply us with a few healing potions for your muscles. You are to come here, every morning before breakfast, and have your dosage. Other than that, you need to see Professor Snape once a month. He'll be giving you vials of the calmness drought to use _solely _after a fit."

"Why Professor Snape?" Lana groaned suddenly. Snape had appeared human today and it creeped Lana out.

"Because he happens to have more experience in this area Lana, he's a potions master you know. Not _just _a professor. We're giving you the calming drought to help you, but you can become addicted. Professor Snape can give you the correct amount and, between you and me, I am quite sure he underwent the same thing during the first war."

Lana stared, suddenly quite still. "Snape had fits?" She asked, somewhat horrified. She couldn't believe it of the git of a professor. He couldn't be human deep down.

"No. You understand Professor Snape played a vital part in the war?"

Lana stared blankly. Snape was a death eater. A death eater who advertised curses to his friends who then used them against her. She still had the scars from the cutting curse Malfoy used on her in her first year. They were faded, a lot. But constant reminders.

"Lana, Professor Snape was a spy. At great risk to himself, might I add." Poppy frowned, looking kindly at the younger girl. "He was in you know who's inner circle and relayed valuable information onto Dumbledore. Not a night passed when Severus was summoned that he didn't turn up on my door in need of medical assistance. He was at constant risk."

"I don't understand. Why would he put himself through that? Did Voldemort ever find out?"

"No. He was -_is_- a flawless actor. He was mere years older than yourself when he began teaching, Lana. Eventually he began to take care of himself. But the cruciatus isn't treatable. You know that more than most. He stopped sleeping for months before the war ended because of nightmares. It was… almost heartbreaking."

This was a lot to take in. Lana stared at the wall in front of her, her eyes glazing over.

"If you can, Lana, let him help you. I know it's hard, but he is as good an ally as any. You can talk to him about your nightmares and he will understand because he's been there before too."

Lana looked helpless, rubbing her tired eyes. "But it's Snape…" she protested weakly.

"I'm not asking for you to be best buddies Lana. Just talk to him. He can help you."

Lana groaned, burrowing her face in her hands. This was beyond weird and uncomfortable, but Poppy had a point. If Snape was even remotely similar then to what she was now, then he could probably… hopefully… give her some advice.

The reluctance Lana felt quickly switched to amusement as she sat back up. Had she been told a few years ago that some day she'd consider Nott a friend (despite their argument) and Snape an ally, she probably would have thrown herself off the astronomy tower.

Still, times had changed. People who hadn't been a part of her life before were now beyond important to her. People like McGonagall, who she'd once thought was against her, now turned out to care for her more than she could imagine. Yet her first friend, her best friend and boyfriend was now gone, leaving only a large aching hole in Lana's heart. A hole that couldn't be filled.


	10. Quidditch from the Stands

Chapter 10 - Quidditch from the Stands

Lana had to hurry through the school to make it to dinner, but once again she found that she didn't have much of an appetite. Poppy had given her strict instructions of what foods to eat and how much of them, so specific that Lana had actually stopped listening. _Who cared about her iron intake_? She certainly didn't.

Still, Tonks had waited for her with a plate of food and listened easily as Lana recounted her meeting with Poppy to her.

"So, you have to make friends with Snape?" Tonks asked, her face a cross between amused and sick; she had gone somewhat green. She sipped her juice through a straw absently, watching Lana.

Lana chewed some pasta thoughtfully and swallowed, frowning. "I don't know Nymph. It's too weird to think about for long. I apologized to him on Halloween and since then he's been… civil."

Tonks gasped, the straw falling from her mouth. Her hands waved around manically as Lana wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"You apologized to him! I get it now!" Tonks squealed, glee lighting up her face. "I thought he just really enjoyed watching you slap Charlie so decided to be nice to you."

Lana looked away at Charlie's name. That night hadn't been enjoyable, by any means.

"Anyway-" Lana drew the word out slowly, continuing on with the conversation. "He was weirdly _okay _today after class, but he wasn't going out of his way or anything." Lana paused to look up at the teachers table, noting that she was being watched by more than one of her professors. "So I think Poppy just wants me to talk to someone who understands. Godric knows how many people have been telling me to get help."

Tonks nodded, grinning. "You very rarely listen to anyone though." She stated, her ocean eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Yeah," Lana mused, "and look where that's got me." There were a few minutes of silence as both the girls finished their meals in an almost empty hall. It was after 6, so they were late by any standards. Most students ate as soon as lessons were over, giving them a free afternoon to do as they wished. Lana was almost astounded that Tonks had waited for her before eating; the girl did enjoy her food.

Lana sipped her own juice, listening to Tonks talk about her latest Divination lesson. Lana was pleased that she'd chosen against divination, because it truly sounded like the most dreadful subject in Hogwarts. Worse even, then Arithmancy. It was a near certainty that, had she been in that particular class, her death would have been predicted 100 times over by now- and she got enough of that outside of lessons.

Nearing the end of Dora's rant, Lana's attention was caught by a lump of parchment that plummeted from the enchanted ceiling and landed in her empty glass. Tonks, who was now speaking into her own goblet as she half downed her remaining drink, hadn't noticed. So, Lana fished out the parchment and smoothed it out on the table.

It read: _'sorry' _

Lana looked up, frowning deeply. Her eyes cast over the extensive hall but eventually she spotted the sleek blonde hair of Nott, sat behind a seventh year at the slytherin table.

He looked nervous, giving off the very peculiar look of a mouse. Lana couldn't resists giggling, which finally caused Tonks to turn around- wondering what had caught her best friend's attention.

"Sorry." Nott mouthed from way across the hall, ducking his head a little.

"What's he sorry for?" Tonks asked loudly, her forehead creasing. Lana laughed at her obliviousness; Tonks was, as ever, Tonks.

"We argued earlier." Lana explained briefly, smiling at her friend. She turned back to Nott and grinned sheepishly. "Me too." She mouthed back, and her slytherin friend smirked easily.

"I genuinely can't believe that we're friends with Nott." Tonks exhaled slowly, rubbing her temples to convey her confusion.

Lana simply rolled her eyes. Nothing had gone that way it was meant to in their lives, but that didn't mean they wouldn't still end up in the same place.

…...

The rest of November flew by until finally it was the very last Saturday of the month and time for Gryffindor's second match of the year. The house on a whole had been outraged at Lana's resignation and turned on Charlie even worse than what they had already one. Lana tried telling people that it had nothing to do with Charlie, but most ignored her pointedly as if it had nothing to do with her whatsoever.

Lana could see why her housemates were so upset. The new beater, a 3rd year called Joseph Blackwell, was a mile behind Lana and Lucy in skill. They hadn't had enough time to train him up and there was a very good chance that Hufflepuff were on much better form that Gryffindor.

Nobody really wanted to attend the match, especially due to the icy winds and random bouts of hailstone, but the Gryffindors put on brave faces and traipsed down to the quidditch pitch.

Lana followed them. She had promised Lucy that she would attend, despite the fact there were a thousand and one things she'd rather be doing. Thank Godric that Nott was going, or else she'd have been on her own to face it: Noah was in the match; Tonks was in the teacher's box; Elena had point blank refused to leave the castle.

Lana could have gone into the teacher's box with Tonks, but turned her best friends offer down. The teacher's box had the best view and she'd be able to hear the commentary non stop. At least if she was in the crowds, she would have to hear or see Charlie so often.

The match started at 2 o'clock, rather later than normal. Lana and Calloway found themselves shivering amongst a group of Ravenclaws who all looked as if they wished they were anywhere else. Lana heartily agreed, conjuring a jar of fire to keep them all warm.

Conversation was limited between the Gryffindor and the Slytherin, but Nott was clearly trying his best to keep Lana cheery. Still, it was more than difficult as the rain lashed at their faces and every few minutes Tonks called out: 'Another goal to Hufflepuff!'

"We can leave, if you want?" Nott yelled over the howling winds, "I doubt Lucy can even see you!" He added.

Lana gritted her teeth in the cold, shaking her head resolutely. "I can't. You can go if you want, it should be over soon!" She called back, despite the fact that he was stood right next to her.

Nott just laughed and stayed where he was.

Seconds dragged into minutes that dragged into what felt like hours before they heard anything more than the usual commentary from Tonks. However, Lana wished she hadn't heard it. The crowds screamed from afar and Tonks's own gasp resonated across the stands.

Everyone in Lana's stand looked around confusedly. They couldn't see a thing, only a bleary yellow shape in the distance that had to be a Hufflepuff.

"Don't worry everyone." Tonks said with a forced calmness. "Charlie Weasley-" Lana flinched, grabbing Nott's arm tightly with her fingers. They crushed around him like vices. "-has been hit with a bludger. Madam Pompfrey is attending to him as we speak…."

Lana's throat felt like it was closing up, as she turned to face Nott- panicking.

"I'm sure he's fine," Nott told her, attempting to break her grip on him.

Lana was torn. All she wanted, more than anything, was to run to the pitch and make sure he was alright and then sit with him as long as she was allowed to, as he had always done with her.

But she couldn't. Things weren't like that anymore.

"Update-" Tonks said suddenly. "Weasley isn't returning to the game. Sorry Gryffindor you've just lost your captain." There was a pause as the crowds heard Tonks and McGonagall murmuring almost inaudibly. Tonks returned swiftly, her voice loud and clear. "I'd like to reiterate that Mr Weasley is _completely _fine and there is absolutely NO NEED to worry."

Lana got the impression that Tonks had intended that statement solely for her, and Nott agreed judging by his slytherin smirk, but it did little to actually comfort her.

"Listen to Tonks, she wouldn't lie to you." Nott said easily as he realized Lana was still itching to go and see Charlie.

"If _he _was fine, he would return to playing. There has to be something wrong." Lana replied tartly, folding her arms. Lana knew she could be stubborn at the best of times, but now she wished she had a laid back disposition. She wanted more than anything not to care about Charlie's well being.

"Don't be daft." Nott said exasperatedly, raising his voice as the crowds began yelling again. "He's probab- Oh Merlin!" The change from exasperated to aghast was almost unnaturally fast; Nott's fair face turned instantly green.

Lana followed his gaze into the barely visible sky and her mouth dropped open. A bundle of red was falling like lightening down to the ground. The small blur was screaming, a sound high and utterly recognizable.

Lucy.

Lana stared, momentarily frozen to the spot at she watched this poor, innocent girl plummet to the ground.

Then the voice came, whispering in her ear over the wind. Lana's shaking suddenly wasn't because of the cold any longer.

Not now, Lana thought desperately, not here.

It took a moment for the need to act to register with Lana's shocked mind. Despite the fact that she could feel an 'episode' coming on, fast, she used all of her will power and forced herself to stand- albeit shakily.

In the fog and rain, there wasn't a chance in hell that the teachers could see what was happening… who was screaming. They were sat at the other end of the pitch. It was incredibly lucky that Lucy was falling near to Lana.

Falling. She was still falling as Lana took a deep breath, trying to focus on Lucy instead of the evil old voice in her head; the memory in her head that threatened to overcome her.

"Aresto Momentum."

Where the energy had come from, Lana couldn't say. It must have been the adrenaline running through her that allowed her to practically bellow the spell, her hand high in the air to aim at Lucy.

It took little more the seconds for Lucy to land, safely and soundly on the floor. Lana didn't know if she was hurt or unconscious, but the second her hand lowered, her resistance crumbled and she collapsed- giving into the fit.

_The feeling of nothing. Being so controlled by another human… by Lewis, that she felt nothing but emptiness. The hollowness of living a meaningless life. _

_'re-join the game, Lana.'_

_The need to resist but the urge to give in. Adrenaline cursing through her veins like fire, burning with an unrestrained rage. Wind in her hair and no breath in her lungs. _

_'You'll hurt yourself'_

_The need for pain. The need to know that she was still human. Tonks' voice, worried and ringing loud across the sky. "Dumbledore's decided to join us once again, she's diving? Has she seen the snitch or something? What's she doing? Lana? Lana! LANA!" _

_Screaming. Being begged to stop but not really hearing. No. She was human She couldn't stop._

_'Now pull up'_

_The realization that she was in control, too late. The momentary fear and then the small plea for death before colliding with the ground, knowing only pain and screaming._

Lana sat bolt upright, inhaling sharply. Well, that wasn't exactly unexpected. The quidditch match last year in which Lewis had made her dive into the ground. So it wasn't just words that triggered it. It could be anything to do with it.

"Lucy? Is she alright?!" Lana asked quickly, her eyes opening and searching around her until they found Nott who rolled his eyes.

"She's fine, not a scratch on her. It was the wind that knocked her off her broom." The slytherin told her quietly. Lana nodded, sighing in relief.

They were still in the stands and apparently the match had continued, though everyone in their stand was just watching Lana and Nott in confusion and shock.

"Come on. You need to see Madam Pompfrey." Nott heaved a great sigh and stood up, offering his hand down to Lana. "You sort of… fell…. I wasn't fast enough to catch you this time."

Lana grinned, heaving herself up and going momentarily dizzy. She took hold of Nott with one hand and the banister with her other as she waited for it to subside, before finally making a few unsteady steps to the stairs.

With a certain delight, Lana realized that visiting Poppy meant she could see how both Lucy and Charlie were doing. She just needed to know that they were both alive and that Lucy was happy, then she too would be happy.

…...

"How do you feel? Any injuries?" Poppy asked the teenage girl in front of her. Although Lana registered that the matron had spoken, her mind was elsewhere and her reply was somewhat delayed.

"Oh, I'm fine. You know me." She said airily, waving her hand down as she leant forwards to peak behind the curtains. She'd not yet seen Charlie, though she couldn't' tell if that was good or bad. On the one hand, she wanted to know that he was safe and uninjured…but on the other, she didn't know if she could even bare to look at him.

There was nobody behind the curtains so Lana sat back, confused to see Poppy and Nott looking at her as if she were stupid.

"What?" She asked, wide eyed.

All she got in return was tow amused looks and the shaking of heads.

"Miss Williams is still at the pitch. We thought it best that she not return to flying, in case she got knocked off again. She didn't agree, but I think she chose to stay quiet."

Lana grinned. That was Lucy all over.

"Mr Weasley-" Lana froze, "-is recovering in the boy's dorms. He dislocated his shoulder, that's all."

Swallowing her relief, Lana shrugged carelessly. "Alright."

Once again, she was sent two highly amused looks. Apparently, Lana was fooling no one. …...

December arrived with the castle being coated in a thin layer of snow that would only grow over the course of the month. The grounds of Hogwarts became a white canvas, marred only by the large footprints of Hagrid from his daily duties; no one else dared go outside. The Black Lake began to freeze over, so that a glistening silvery crust formed upon it. The squid was none too pleased, but it was nice to watch his threatening tentacles from a distance as they attempted to break the ice.

With only 3 weeks to go until Christmas holidays, the mood of the school couldn't have been grander. The Gryffindor tower had been lavished with tacky decorations, from the Fat Lady's tinsel covered frame to the confetti covered spiral staircase. There was snow in the windows and banners on every doorframe, mini trees on every table and a little Santa Claus figurine that a seventh year had charmed to fly around from surface to surface, casually cutting into your conversation with an outburst of _'Ho ho ho.' _

It was enough to drive anyone insane.

Lana put up with it, because it made both Tonks and Elena happy.

Although the girls had insisted that they wanted to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas, any fool could see they were lying. Who wanted to spend the holidays in a school where there was nothing for them but exams and stress? After some arguing they had finally decided to go home. For Elena, that of course meant Dora's house.

Still, any arguments had been forgotten now and the three girls sat on their beds- spending the night as the teenage girls they were. Elena was plucking her eyebrows, the muggle way for some reason, staring into a pretty butterfly mirror that Tonks bought her as an early Christmas present. Tonks was reading through several teen magazines, magical and muggle, her expression highly amused. "Are people really this stupid?" She asked repeatedly, shaking her head at the embarrassing moments sections.

Lana was lying on her back, staring at a certain 'marauders map' but not really seeing anything. She was too distracted by trying desperately not to stare at Charlie's name, just millimetres from her own on the paper. She was still keeping up with the whole positive attitude thing, but she couldn't resist dwelling on the bad inside her own head. Not just her broken relationship with the second eldest Weasley, but also the 'episodes' that continued to plague her.

There had to be something she could do to stop the memories from coming. Poppy had told her that her problem was different to the art of the mind, but how? Yes, occlumency hadn't been able to stop Lewis properly at that time- but it had delayed him and Lana had been poisoned anyway!

Surely, now she healthier again, she'd be able to manage the situation effectively with Occlumency. Lana grinned, a name catching her eye on the map. She could get her answers immediately.

"What time is it?" Lana asked, springing from her bed and pulling her cloak on.

Elena arched an eyebrow, "Past curfew." she said steadily, "Why, where are you going?"

"Out." Lana replied with a smile, pulling some old sneakers on quickly. It was late; appearance wasn't the first thing on Lana's mind.

"Anything else you can tell us? Or do expect us to make do with '_out'_?"

Lana sighed, shaking her head. "I'll be half an hour, at most, don't worry."

Tonks sat up, smiling softly. "You can't blame us for wanting to know more Lana. Look what happened last time you went off on your own without telling anyone."

Lana chose not to reply to that, shame and regret cursing through her. She didn't need anyone to remind her of that dreadful experience, especially not her best friend.

Hearing no further objections, Lana hurried from the dorm. There was probably only 2 people in the school that had enough skill and knowledge to answer her question, and one of them was a complete no go. No matter how desperate she was, she would never ask her grandfather for help again. Maybe that was foolish, but she couldn't.

That left Snape.

The way down to the dungeons was as long and cold as ever, especially as it was December. After a small encounter with Peeves the poltergeist, Lana made it to the slimy old network of corridors and consulted the map once more.

Snape was still in his classroom, as he had been minutes before when Lana had first spotted his name. Interesting though it was that Snape was awake so late and working, Lana was more bothered about her own problems and knocked on the door sharply.

"Professor Snape?" she asked loudly, rapping on the door three times. There was no reply, so Lana looked at the map again. No, he was definitely in there. She knocked again. "Professor? I know you're in there. Come on? I have a question that only you can answer! … Please?"

The door finally swung open and Lana sighed aloud, visibly relieved. The potions classroom was lit up for once, making it lighter than Lana had ever seen it. Snape was sat at his desk, looking entirely unimpressed. Ignoring this, Lana hurried into the classroom and pulled up a chair opposite his desk.

"Are you aware that it is past curfew, Miss Dumbledore, or are you simply beyond school rules?" Snape asked coolly, glaring at Lana as she crossed her legs- making herself comfortable.

Lana raised an eyebrow, observing the potions master amusedly. "Can't it be both?" She quipped, smirking carelessly. She was way past giving a damn for Snape's warnings and insults.

For a moment, Snape looked like he wanted to curse Lana. But then he simply sat back in his chair. "Touché"

"Quite." Lana shuffled on her seat and then sat up straight, done with joking. "Now, I wanted to ask you something." Without waiting for a reply she continued, her forest eyes sparkling at the prospect of a solution to her troubles. Or at least one of them. "Do you think that Occlumency could work on blocking these incidents?"

Snape's face remained blank as he thought over Lana's statement. Lana sat patiently awaiting his answer, somewhat nervous.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think it could be done. I just don't know how… that's where you come in…" She trailed off, biting her lip.

The potions master was silent for another minute or so before he finally frowned. "It might be possible. I'm not sure. This isn't a matter of blocking an external attack, as Occlumency is normally used; this is already in your mind. Even if you did find a way to block it, it's highly unlikely you'd have the time or energy to prepare yourself for an attack in the moments before it."

"What if I practiced? I know what triggers it. If I knew it was coming, could I be ready for it?"

"Perhaps. But that would be both dangerous and foolish."

Lana replied with a grin, from ear to ear.

A few moments passed, with Snape most likely deciding what to do in his own head. Lana's smile faded.

"If you are desperate, then I will help you. I'd normally tell you to go and bother someone else but-"

"-nobody else is as good as you, Sir?" Lana suggested, smirking.

"Precisely. Besides, I doubt anyone else could find the will to intentionally hurt you."

"I can believe that." Lana laughed, moving to stand up.

"Friday Nights at 7 o'clock. I know you have a fondness for being late, but do try to be there on time." Snape muttered, returning to his work as Lana stood and straightened her cloak out quickly.

"I'll try my best. Sir?"

Snape looked up, exasperated. "What now, Dumbledore?"

_What keeps you in Hogwarts? What made you turn against Voldemort? How did you survive as a spy? Why do you hate everyone? What has Dumbledore got on you? _

Lana sighed and smiled weakly. "Never mind Sir. Goodnight."

Lana strode from the room and the door shut behind her, leaving her alone in a freezing corridor in the dungeons. With chattering teeth, Lana hurried to the stairs. The sooner she got back to the Gryffindor tower and was wrapped up, snug in bed, the better.

…...

The week passed relatively quickly. Life was more of a blur than anything at the moment; what with the stress of homework, exams and the ongoing avoidance of Charlie. Still, before Lana knew it Friday had arrived and flown by until she found herself sat at dinner, staring at the wall in front of her.

She hadn't exactly told Tonks or Elena where she'd gone that night. Or, indeed, why she'd gone. It wasn't a secret. Lana just didn't see the point in telling them. Therefore, she would need a cover. Something to explain why she was disappearing every Friday night.

If she said nothing, the girls would either assume that she was meeting a secret boyfriend or much worse than Lana dared think about. And then what? What if their assumptions got out and got back to Charlie? He'd think she'd moved on from him. He'd move on too…

For some unexplainable reason, that hurt. Lana didn't want Charlie to move on. She wanted him to be suffering as much as she was, because she was. Her heart ached, even now. It wasn't as intense as it had been when he'd first left her and it had been blocked by anger when she found out about his meeting with Dumbledore, but after her anger ebbed away it returned. This mixture of longing, hurt and numbness in her chest that was a constant pain to her. But it was also oddly comforting. It was a reminder that Charlie had existed and she had loved him, and always would.

"Earth to Lana!"

Lana blinked; Tonks was leaning over the table and clapping repeatedly in her face to gain her attention.

"Finally!" the metamorphmagus sighed, sitting back down. "I've been talking to you for like 10 minutes, and I don't think you heard a word I've said!"

Lana shrugged awkwardly, glancing at her watch. It was close to 7. She'd have to go very soon. "Sorry, I was thinking."

"You think too much." Tonks began wisely, brandishing her fork at Lana. "You used to be able to make a decision like that-!" Tonks snapped her fingers for effect, her hair flashing blue. "But now, you obsess for days and weeks and months and year." Tonks continued, but Lana stopped listening once again- checking her watch once more. She really did have to go.

"Ladies. As much as I hate to break up your little Gryffindor fun fest, I need to borrow Dumbledore." Nott arrived with perfect timing, an easy smirk on his pale face. It was a perfect distraction to get out of the hall, but then Lana had the job of escaping Nott to get to the dungeons.

"Not at all, she's out of it tonight anyway." Tonks sighed greatly once more, sending Lana a scathing look. She'd probably been saying something really important and Lana hadn't been listening.

Finishing her juice, Lana rose with an apologetic glance at Tonks. She hadn't been a very good friend recently, which led to an obvious rift between the girls. Lana had made it no secret that she preferred to be alone recently, so Tonks was drifting further and further away.

Lana resolved to spend more time with her best friend that weekend.

"You're thinking again." Nott commented as they swept down the hall towards the exit, his silvery eyes following her from her right.

"Yes Calloway, it's a fairly common skill. Don't worry; you'll master it one day."

"Oh ha-ha. You should be thanking me."

"For what?" Asked Lana, turning to face the slytherin- her face a mixture or amusement and scepticism.

"For giving you an excuse to leave. I assume you did want to leave," Nott added, seeming very sure of himself as they entered the entrance hall and paused, closing the doors behind them.

Lana watched him astutely, hands on her hips. "I did. How did you know?"

"Magic."

"Sure." Lana laughed sharply and glanced at the stairs down to the dungeons, where her lesson with Snape should have begun a minute ago. "Listen, I have a meeting with Snape. Are you free? You can come…?"

Nott raised a blonde brow and smirked. "Extra time with Snape? Wow, exciting." The sarcasm in his tone was unreal. Lana was certain that all Slytherins were taught to be sarcastic, pessimistic buggers with extraordinary skills for smirking and sneering before they were let into their common room. "Alright. Might as well make sure you don't kill each other."

Lana grinned in relief and hurried down the stairs, Nott close behind her. "You should consider becoming my carer you know. Might as well get paid for the job you do."

"Tell me about it." Nott replied with a smirk. "I could get millions."

…...

An hour or so later, Lana sat opposite Snape's desk once again- her face pink with anger and her forest eyes flashing dangerously. Progress was non-existent; a rarity for the bright girl, and Snape was being less than pleasant. Then again, what was to be expected?

"How do you expect to help yourself, when you can't even perform the simplest of tasks?" The potions master asked snidely, no leeway allowed for the headmaster's granddaughter.

"It's hard to collect all of my memories of Lewis together, when I can't remember most of them!" Protested Lana, scraping hair away from her face. It was impossible! Every time she thought she'd bunched the memories up, another one emerged and she was forced to live through it for as long as Snape made her.

"They're inside your head! Find them and then return when you're not going to waste my time." Snape spat and then came the silence. Nott, who had reluctantly stayed through the entire ordeal, looked from Lana to Snape nervously. Both looked ready to kill. Both could, easily.

After a long, unbearable moment, Lana finally spoke quietly and forcedly, through a clenched jaw. "That isn't fair. I didn't know they were there. I can't remember most of my time with him. So don't you dare accuse me of time wasting."

Lana rose from her chair and cast one bitter glare at the professor before sweeping to the door. One foot already out of the classroom, Nott's voice sounded and brought her to a sudden halt.

"Lana, Wait!" The slytherin called, his voice a mixture of exasperation and amusement.

Lana turned, ever so slowly, and folded her arms as she waited to hear whatever Nott had to say.

Surprisingly, it wasn't Lana that Nott spoke to but Snape. The 16 year old boy turned to face the professor and shook his head as if disappointed.

"Lana's right." He said, his tone firm. "That wasn't fair. You've not given her a chance this evening and you know it. She came to you for help and you've been nothing but a git all evening. Maybe if you tried a little patience you'd see that Lana is actually trying but she can't be good at everything." Lana had a small urge to protest at that, but she pushed it down. It didn't matter. "Especially something as painful as this. You should be ashamed. Goodnight Professor."

Once again, Lana turned to leave and once again she was called back, but this time by the other slytherin.

"Same time tomorrow, Miss Dumbledore. And bring your slytherin friend again."

Lana stood, her mouth agape. Not entirely sure of what just happened, she stared for a moment before regaining her senses and shuffling out of the room.

With the door closed behind her, Nott appeared at her side and grinned boyishly. His platinum blonde hair ruffled as he shoved a hand through it and he breathed a great sigh of contentment. There was a certain smugness in his silvery eyes that sparked waves of laughter from Lana.

"Did you plan that?" She asked between squeals, clutching her sides as she stumbled down the corridor. Nott strode beside her easily, smirking as easily as ever.

"What do you think?" He asked lightly, never once giving into the laughter that threatened his cool façade.

"I think you're a sneaky, slimy, sly, awful, evil little slytherin." Lana beamed as she prodded his shoulder. "So of course you planned it. You evil genius."

"I'll see you tomorrow in the entrance hall. 10 o'clock." Nott said, in a complete change of subject that left Lana utterly confused.

"Uhm, why?" She asked, tugging the sleeve of her slytherin companion and frowning.

"Hogsmeade weekend. You promised me! Weeks ago! No backsies."

Lana stifled a groan. So much for her fun weekend with Tonks. Her best friend would have to wait another week.

"Fine. I'll see you then."

Nott turned smirked soundly and departed for the slytherin common room, leaving Lana wandering through the dungeons trying to work out her own feelings. She certainly wasn't excited about having to go out in the bitter cold and wet snow, but she did enjoy spending time with Nott.

Damn that slytherin and his new and improved personality! Why couldn't he have stayed the nasty little boy that they all hated?

…...

"Are you completely sure you want to spend all day with Nott? What If he's secretly a baddy and kidnaps you and kills you?"

Lana frowned at herself in the mirror, pausing in her attempts to tame her hair. "I've managed before Nymph." She called to the girl in the bathroom. "Besides, I don't think he's going to wait until we're alone and then just announce he's secretly Voldemort or something. It's only Nott."

Tonks swung around the bathroom door, her blue eyes wide and sparkling. "You never know Lana. Especially with your track record."

Lana simply rolled her eyes as she stood, grabbing her cloak. "Whatever. I'll see you at Abe's for lunch?"

"Of course!" Tonks disappeared into the bathroom once more, leaving Lana to be on her way. The youngest Dumbledore hummed to herself easily as she strolled through the Gryffindor tower. It was snowing outside, on the verge of a blizzard. It was a surprise that the trip hadn't been cancelled. All the same, Lana pulled her scarf, hat and gloves on and continued on her way.

Not many people were actually going to Hogsmeade, judging by the number of people who were still in bed. Perhaps they had awoken early, like Lana, seen the weather and then collapsed back into bed.

Either way, it certainly wasn't going to be busy in the village.

Lana didn't intend to stay too long. In the morning they were going to get all their Christmas presents and then after lunch they were going to head back up to the castle. If things went as planned, Lana could wrap all of her presents and owl them all off before dinner- leaving her evening free for her meeting with Snape.

Turning the corner into the entrance hall, Lana immediately spotted the sleek blonde hair of Nott. He was stood by the door, polishing off what looked like it had once been a bacon sandwich.

"Shall we?" She asked as she approached him. He nodded, speechlessly, and they tugged their cloaks tighter to them to leave the school.

The walk down to the school was silent. Words weren't needed. It was nice to just walk and take in the picturesque views of the snow-coated village. It was bitter cold and almost torturous as the winds whipped any available flesh leaving it burning and pink, but with each downhill step the trek to the village shortened and eventually they arrived at the shelter of the buildings.

"Who do you need to buy for?" Lana asked quickly, making a mental list of what shops they would need to visit before lunch. If she didn't find everything she wanted today then she was going to be pretty annoyed. She didn't want to have to leave the warm school again.

"My mother. And yourself?" Nott said shortly. Out in the snow, his eyes looked lighter than ever- almost silvery blue like ice.

"Well. Tonks, Elena, Noah, Abe, Poppy, McGonagall, maybe Art, Lucy, Ella, Bill and the rest of the Weasleys."

There was a moment of silence. By the rest of the Weasleys, she did of course mean all but Charlie. What were you meant to send your ex-boyfriend for Christmas to let them know that you loved them and nothing could ever change that, but boy did she hate him too.

"The Weasley's? Why?" Nott asked, in clear confusion. Lana smiled weakly. She didn't expect him to understand. How could he? He'd never been in her shoes. He didn't know what it felt like to be family-less and alone.

"Because they didn't hesitate to except me into their family. Because they cared for me like one of their own and I love them." Lana replied gently, her voice slow as if she herself was only just coming to terms with it. "I don't want to stop being a part of their lives. The opposite in fact. I'm not going to ignore them just because of ..Him."

Nott replied with a shrug, shaking his head. "Alright. So, where to?"

…...

After a few hours of shopping, Lana had everything she needed: Some clothes for Tonks and Elena; a portable bookshelf for Noah; an enchanted dishcloth for Abe; a pair of gloves for Poppy; a photo frame for McGonagall- Lana was going to put a picture of herself in and sign it, 'from your best student' as she couldn't think of anything else; a wand holster for Bill as his own was cracked and old, possibly once Arthur's. For the Weasley children, Lana had bought a selection of sweets and individual cards for each of them that she had yet to write out. For Molly and Arthur, she bought an enchanted candle. It was meant to smell of happiness, echoing the effects of Amortentia.

Finally, for dear Lucy, Lana had gotten a small pendant necklace. It had been shockingly expensive for such a little trinket but it was perfect. White gold with an amber stone in the middle. Maybe it was big-headed, but Lana wanted to be remembered when she died. Even if it was only through a necklace that she gave to her 14 year old friend.

Lunch had been quiet. The cold and shopping had worn the friends out and it wasn't long before they made the trudge back to the castle, with visions of a cosy common room in their minds.

After warming up by the fire, Lana retreated to the girls dorms and began to write her letters whilst her presents magically wrapped themselves on her bed behind her.

Never had words been so difficult to find. What was she meant to say to any of them? Should she pretend that nothing was wrong, or just ignore the subject entirely? No. They didn't deserve that, surely?

_Dearest Ginny,_

_It has been entirely far too long since I've last seen you! By my reckoning, you must have grown 10 feet taller by now. So, I'm writing to ask you to stop growing entirely until I can see you again. Promise? Good. Now, did you make up with Fred after he charmed your lollipop? I would very much like a reply so that I can find out everything that's been happening in the burrow since September! I hope you like you're present!_

_Merry Christmas and Lots of love, Lana x_

Lana wrote a few more letters before she finally began work on the largest, the longest and the hardest.

_Dear Mr Weasley and Mrs Weasley,_

_I hope you're both having a marvellous Christmas! I'm sorry I haven't written in so long, I've been very busy with school work and whatnot. How is everything at the burrow? I hope everyone's well! _

_I know this is very odd, but I don't want this thing with Charlie to effect how you see me. I certainly hope you don't all hate me, because I do love you all very much. I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me, and I don't want to be cut off from you because of him._

_Anyway, Merry Christmas! I hope to see you all soon! _

_Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore x_

Lana packed all the presents and letters into a freshly conjured wicker basket and covered them with a blanket. 'Not to be opened till Christmas' said the note she stuck on top. Icarus was soon on his way, delivering the basket of goods, and Lana cleared up the mess she had made.

"You alright?"

Lana jumped and turned to face Tonks who was sat on her bed. How long had she been there? Lana swallowed and nodded quickly.

"Yeah- course." she smiled, though it couldn't reach her eyes. "Just wrote some letters to the Weasley's. Explaining some stuff, I suppose. You?"

"I'm fine." Tonks said quickly, smiling brightly as Lana sat beside her. But for some reason, her smile didn't quite reach her sparkling blue eyes either.

Lana frowned. "I'm sorry for being such a crap friend recently."

"Don't be. I understand." Dora replied hurriedly, shaking her head.

"How's life?"

"Repetitive. I don't feel happy. Not anymore. Is that weird?" Tonks laughed once, sharp and blunt. "Something changed after last year. I don't know. I spend more time with Elena then I do with Noah now, and when I am with him we're just arguing."

"I hadn't even noticed." Lana breathed. She'd never felt more guilty in her life. Neglecting her friend was one thing, but neglecting her when she needed her was a whole other.

"We don't… in front of you. I didn't want to upset you or make you worry. I'm just sick of it now."

Nymphadora Tonks sounded more tired than Lana had ever heard her. It was so sad.

"I feel so guilty about Lewis and it's driving me bonkers. I just lie in bed thinking about him every night. I drove him to that. He was a happy, healthy kid and then because of me he became a deranged, psychopathic murderer."

"It wasn't your fault Nymph. He isolated himself."

"He seemed to think so. How can I sleep at night? I put you through all that. I'm the reason that you have these stupid fits. I'm the reason that you don't sleep and you don't eat and you're not with Charlie anymore. This is all my fault."

Lana turned sideways on the bed and grabbed Tonks by her arms, staring at her intently. "You listen to me, Dora. Don't ever say that again." Both girls on the brink of tears, Lana continued- her voice thick with restrained sobs. "None of this is your fault. It was Lewis that tortured me. It was Lewis that chose to make me pay for his own mistake. It's me that can't handle a few iffy potions and I'm getting better anyway! Poppy said so! And as for Ch-Charlie. Well, that was his own fault. He knew what he was getting into when he asked me out. He knew what he was agreeing to when he told me he loved me. He certainly knew what he was doing when he left me."

Tears trickled down cheeks and were wiped away rapidly.

"So don't beat yourself up about it. And Noah? Well, I can't give you any advice there. I'd tell you to follow your heart. Only you know if you still love him."

Tonks nodded tearfully and they girls fell into silence, listening carefully as it began to hail outside the castle. The weather very much matched Lana's mood.

Awful.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - Revenge

"You look awful." Greeted Calloway as Lana met him in the entrance hall later that evening. "Have you been crying?" The concern in his voice was touching, but unnecessary. Talking about the conversation she had just had with Dora would lead Lana to more tears, and she wanted to stay calm for her lesson with Snape.

"Thanks and yes, can we go now?"

Blunt was clearly the way to go as Nott shrugged, nodded and sauntered ahead down to the dungeons. Whilst Lana hated the dungeons; with the slimy walls and shadowy maze-like corridors that only a snake could negotiate, Nott seemed to be at perfect ease in the depths of the school. He was clearly still the 'leader' of his year group, as he always had been, which lead Lana to wonder if they accepted his friendship with the Gryffindors. Four years ago, mere mention of the word Gryffindor would rile up most Slytherins. Had things progressed to a stage where they no longer cared past the usual school rivalry of quidditch and house points?

All too soon, Lana found herself at the door of Snape's classroom. She didn't particularly want to enter, especially not after their argument the day before, but she pushed ahead with blatant Gryffindor fearlessness.

"Good Evening Professor."

"Define good." Snape asked rhetorically, barely glancing up as the two fifth years entered the classroom.

Nott and Lana hurried down the classroom; Lana took her seat in front of Snape's desk as always whilst Nott hung a desk or so back.

"Let's begin, I don't wish for this meeting to be long."

Lana shrugged indifferently. What did it matter to her, it was only to help her entire life.

"You have a head full of memories that you can't remember. If you can't remember them then you can't isolate them. If you can't isolate them, you can't dispose of them. Occlumency cannot help you anymore, Miss Dumbledore."

Well. That was it then. All hope gone.

"So you're giving up?" Said Nott loudly from behind Lana, his voice oddly confident. A part of Lana wondered whether he had some other slimy trick up his sleeve, or whether he was just angry.

"We attempted it. It was never certain to work anyway."

"What about the things I can remember? What about the nightmares and the trigger words?" Asked Lana, suddenly panicked. She couldn't give up! Not now! Not yet…She didn't want to have to remember it for the rest of her life.

"I could obliviate you completely if you wish? Though I suspect the triggers would still work anyway."

Pathetic.

"You might as well kill me. Just do it and put everyone out of their misery!"

"Lana…" Nott's surprised tone trailed off with one glare from Lana. All the anger in the world was concentrated into two green orbs that were alight with fury.

"Why Not?!" She asked sharply. "What use am I alive, to anyone? There is no reason for me to be alive! Before, I had a reason to live. I lived to be with Charlie. I lived so that I could protect him and the others. But I couldn't even do that! Amie died because of me! Lewis went insane, Tonks is depressed and Charlie is being hated by the whole school because of my idiocy! What have I got now?"

The two Slytherins in the room with Lana remained silent. Lana couldn't even look at them, blinking tears from her eyes. Perhaps bottling up all her anger hadn't been the best way to go, because now she was exploding.

"I'm just a nuisance. To Dumbledore, To Poppy and Professor McGonagall, and You- Snape! I'm a sick child that is constantly in trouble and life would be so much easier if I just wasn't here! I should have died when I was seven. I should have died with my parents." A finality to her tone, Lana took a few unsteady steps backwards. She wanted to run and hide, as ever, but the door was oh so far away.

"Finally. We are getting somewhere." Snape muttered. He made no attempt to move, other than sitting up a little straighter and locking his hands together over his desk. "There is no shame in what you are feeling, Miss Dumbledore."

"I'm not ashamed. I have every right to feel like this."

"Then what?"

"I don't deserve help or pity. Everything that is wrong with me I have brought upon myself. Everyone that I know and love has been hurt because of me and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being seen as the victim when I'm not."

"You're wrong." Nott inputted, shaking his head pointedly. "This is just because you don't want the attention that comes with it. You don't realize how hard life has been on you."

"You don't realize, Miss Dumbledore, how ill you are."

Lana finally looked up, tears drying on her cheeks. "I'm so tired of living."

And there it was. Her point, plain and simple. The worst part was that Snape didn't look even remotely surprised. He simply nodded once and gestured for Lana to sit. She did so, reluctantly- though she had to admit the crying had made her a little dizzy.

"I never intended to help you with the memories, Dumbledore. We all know that they can't be helped, and now you do too. It's… incurable. But I can help you with your nightmares. I can help you control your emotions. I can help you come to terms with life." Snape's tone softened, as did his expression. It was the look of someone who knew all too well how it felt to feel so awful, and that alone was enough to unnerve Lana.

"I-… Thank you."

Snape said nothing in reply, but left them in silence for a moment. Perhaps, like Nott, Snape was more human than he let on around others. Perhaps he was too Gryffindor for his own good. Perhaps he couldn't stay angry at a dying girl?

Lana didn't dare dwell on it for too long. Whatever the reason, she was grateful.

"Firstly, I want you to continue your running in a morning. It will tire you out and allow you to sleep easier. Make sure you are listening to Poppy and taking your potions. You'll want to stop stressing over things you can't handle. Spend more time working and less time worrying."

"You want me to work myself to death?" Lana asked, quirking an eyebrow. Admittedly, she did feel a little better now that she had ranted.

"And you'll need to get over this fixation with death that you have." Snape continued as if Lana had never spoken, his coal eyes twinkling.

Lana bit her lip to stop a retort from flying out. In her defence, she had assumed that she'd already be dead by now for the past 3 years or so. Even if she had lived to exams, there was no way she'd leave Hogwarts alive and of age. The statistics were against her. All evidence pointed towards the fact that she was going to die young.

Either Lana die, or she live to watch all the people she care about fade away. Amie was already gone. Charlie had left. Elena had changed. Tonks was as tired of fighting as she was.

They couldn't keep going forever. It wasn't fair of them.

"You should get a hobby." Nott suggested quietly, as both other sets of eyes snapped to him. "You don't have quidditch anymore, but you could take up something a little safer and a little more time consuming."

"Like what?" Lana asked tiredly. There wasn't much she could in in Hogwarts that didn't involve large groups or being in front of the whole school. She wasn't much good at chess, she didn't particularly enjoy Gobstones, quidditch was out of the question and the duelling club of last year had been put to a permanent end. Which wasn't particularly surprising seeing as though it had resulted in 3 students being tortured.

"You're a Dumbledore, stick to what you're good at." Snape inputted quietly, "Research."

…...

"So have you decided what you're going to research?" Nott asked as he and Lana walked beside the frozen lake, kicking snow as they did so. It had been a week since their meeting with Snape, and Lana had spent all week going over everything the professor had said.

He was right, there was nothing to prevent memories short of obliviating her completely. Magic could only do so much. But she'd only had one flashback since their meeting, and it hadn't been particularly bad. She had started running again, at her own peril due to the ridiculously dangerous ice and snow on the grounds. Her appetite was increasing the more she worked and it was getting easier to spend any length of time around the whole school, which did help at meal times.

The only problem she had left was what she could do after her homework was done. Every night she spent at least an hour, staring into the dying fire. Despite the fact she was often exhausted, she preferred to mull over her life then to sleep. Sleeping lead to nightmares and nightmares lead to pain.

So, Lana decided it was time for her new hobby to begin.

"I'm going to research death." Lana smiled brightly, her white face pink with the cold.

Nott groaned loudly, rubbing his eyes with glove covered hands. "Lana! You're meant to be getting over your obsession with death, not obsessing over it more!"

Lana responded by throwing a handful of powdery snow at the Slytherin, smirking wickedly. "Know your enemy." she said promptly. "I'm not trying to find a solution Calloway. But this has been my life for 5 years. My whole life is being based on some old tale. I'm just curious, I swear."

"Okay." Nott said slowly, shaking snow out of his hair. "But if I think you're getting too caught up in it, I retain the right to slap you…. Or at least curse you into next year."

Lana smirked, brushing snow off the Slytherins fine cloak. "You could try."

…...

Charlie Weasley was not having the best time recently. Since the incident outside of their defence lesson, and the whole school finding out about Lana's… condition, it was much harder to pretend that everything was okay. Charlie, admittedly, didn't much care about the whole school talking about him. Nor did that fact he had his own hate group since leaving Lana. What stung Charlie, was the fact that most of his family were 'immensely disappointed' in him. Ginny was quietly furious, which scared him more than the prospect of facing his mother in the holidays. The youngest Weasley wasn't quite as innocent as she seemed. Lana had made sure she knew how to defend herself against her mean brothers.

Ronald didn't seem to know much about anything, and Fred and George were too mischievous to have let on their anger so early.

Thankfully, Bill seemed to understand Charlie's motives. He had been a great help to Charlie through everything. Charlie had a very large suspicion that if it weren't for Bill, he'd be dead ten times over.

On the other hand, Percy seemed appropriately pleased with the break-up and had taken to bothering Charlie relentlessly now that Lana was out of the way.

Life was a constant torture.

With the Holidays looming ever closer, Charlie was looking forward to escaping the school- even if it meant the wrath of his mother. At least at home he knew he was loved. At Hogwarts, even the teachers seemed to have taken to picking on him. McGonagall was getting worse than Snape, as was Crownley.

It was a perfect example of blatant favouritism, but Charlie didn't mind. Lana deserved their help, and he deserved their hate.

"What have I done?"

Charlie stared through hollow eyes out of the window beside his bed. A freckled cheek pressed up to the icy glass, Charlie looked out onto the snow coated grounds of Hogwarts and sighed so that his breath formed condensation on the freezing pane.

There weren't many people brave enough to go out in the snow, but Charlie could make out at least 5 or 6 figures making an attempt at a snowball fight. There were a few on brooms, battling foolishly against the snow, and two very familiar people strolling beside the frozen lake.

Charlie tried not to watch them, Nott and Lana, forcing his eyes over to the quidditch pitch or the forest in vain. Every time he glanced away he could help but look right back at them, yearning to know what he missed in his absence.

They didn't look anything but innocent. They weren't even standing that close, as far as Charlie could tell. Then again, Charlie couldn't tell much as a light snowfall began to hide the fifth years from his sights.

Sighing once more, Charlie turned his back to the window and stared into his empty dormitory. Noah was as good a friend as ever, if somewhat quieter nowadays. He seemed torn between spending time with Dora and sitting with Charlie, yet when he did choose Dora- the metamorphmagus was often busy elsewhere.

Art was quietly keeping his nose out, though no doubt making his own private judgements without knowing the whole story. Even Max Taylor was acting strange.

Charlie slumped his shoulders. He couldn't change what he'd done. He'd brought this on himself the moment he even considered listening to Dumbledore. What a fool he'd been! Hadn't he thought about it at all? Why hadn't he just talked to Lana, instead of outright telling her his decision?

He just needed to talk to her. To tell her how sorry he was and how he wished it had never happened. He needed to tell her he missed her. He needed her forgiveness before it was too late.

…...

Lana was late to the Library to meet Nott, having been held up by a certain pink haired Gryffindor having a major breakdown over her divination homework. Nonetheless, she had only been delayed 10 minutes so Nott would probably still be waiting for her.

Lana contemplated their relationship as she hurried to the third floor. Nott had been such a good friend, since the end of fourth year at least. Not a close friend, exactly, but a good friend all the same. He rarely asked questions that she didn't want to answer, and never demanded her to answer anyway. He was on her side, if reluctantly in some cases, and he was more than loyal- which was surprising enough for a Slytherin.

Mind you, Lana was a Gryffindor and she was as cunning a snake.

"Nott?" Lana called upon entering the Library, earning herself a loud 'shhh' from Madam Pince. Lana rolled her eyes at the aging woman and bound into the depths of the library, repeating the Slytherins name in a softer tone. The library was mostly empty. It always seemed to be in the run up to Christmas; everyone seemed to forget about their educations with the prospect of food and presents clouding their minds.

"Nott?" Lana said a little louder, certain she was getting lost in the maze of books. The library was far too large for just two students.

"I'm here."

Lana turned, listening for the direction of the voice.

"Where?" She asked helplessly, turning on the spot.

"Uhm… Here?"

Lana grinned wordlessly and half ran down the gap between book shelves, looking into each corner or aisle as she moved.

"Closer?"

"Yeah!"

Lana fell through a gap, her eyes sparkling as she finally found Nott in a secluded little section. Nott was sat at a small table, a few large and leather bound books already open.

"Sorry I'm so far in, I didn't think it'd be good if some kid walked in on you researching death. Bad for rumours, you know."

Lana smiled vacantly, hearing Nott in some distant part of her mind. "No… it's fine…" Except it wasn't fine. Not in the least. How ironic, that the very place Nott had brought her to in order to escape pain was the very source of all her troubles.

"What's up? Lana? Lana!" Nott stood quickly, his books slamming shut with a bang that snapped Lana's head around quickly.

"Nothing. This room… this is where I met him. Last year. He revealed himself here…" Lana could hear the fear in her own voice, the stutter and the low tone. Her eyes flicked over the scene rapidly, ignoring the face of the panicked Slytherin in front of her.

"You should go, Lana. Now. Quickly, before-" Nott was beside her instantly, his hands on her arms in a hurried attempt to push her from the room. Lana brushed him off and smiled blankly, there was a strange compulsion to see this memory. Almost as if she had to.

"No. I want to see it. I want to feel it again." Why? Lana asked herself, her inner voice loud and clear over the whispers that began to sound in her ears. Because she wanted to witness the precise moment he ruined her life. She wanted to see if there was anything she could have done to stop it. Anything she could have done to prevent her world from crumbling around her.

Lana stumbled forwards, clutching the back of a chair and staring without seeing. The scene was inside her own head.

_"Imperious curse." The horrific realization that she was being controlled, and could do little to stop it. _

_"I wondered how long it'd take you to figure out." A sarcastic drawl, the first hearing of a voice she hated more than any other. "Hello miss Dumbledore." _

_The panic and the confusion, mingling with sheer terror that would never leave her._

_"Do you have any idea how it feels to watch your best friend in the world not notice you AT ALL?. To ignore you as if you never existed whilst you watch her run off with her new, famous friends. Well it hurt. And now you'll pay." The manic look in his Slytherin eyes that pierced Lana like a thousand daggers. "Say a word of this to anyone, and I'll make you pay. Understand?" Lana nodding without her minds permission. The blind, raw fear that had her heart pounding in her chest._

And then she was back in reality.

"I hate you Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore. Do you hear me? I absolutely hate you, and the second you're in the hospital wing I'm done with you."

Lana smiled vacantly, her eyes fluttering open and coming to terms with her surroundings. "You love me really." She whispered; her throat hoarse.

"No. I really, really don't." Nott muttered, but helped the Gryffindor up all the same and wrapped an arm around her awkwardly. "You ever do that again and I might kill you."

"I'll bare that in mind." Lana smirked half-heartedly. As much as she wanted to say otherwise, she had to admit that it had probably been a bad idea to remain in the room and watch that memory. All she wanted to do now was curl up in bed and sleep, but apparently Nott had other ideas as he half carried her out of the Library and across the corridor to the Hospital wing.

Poppy smiled warmly as she spotted Lana, her aged face lighting up. "Hello dear, how're you?"

"I'm-"

"She had an episode, Madam Pompfrey." Nott filled in swiftly, dumping Lana on a bed and giving her an appraising look. "I think she's alright. Might just need sleep. I'll go back and collect our things." Nott grinned, turning on his heel. They had indeed left all their possessions in the library, but luckily it was deserted so Lana doubted there was much danger.

"I'm fine, really Poppy. I don't know why nobody trusts me."

Poppy laughed lightly, pulling a vial of foamy yellow liquid from her robes. It looked like butterbeer, but Lana knew from experience that there was no such thing as a tasty potion.

"Really, I'm fine." Lana lied with a small smile, eyeing the vial distastefully. "I don't need any potions."

"Don't worry." Poppy smiled wryly, opening the vial and handing it to Lana. "It won't kill you. It's just a variation of the pepper up potion."

Lana sighed. She couldn't deny that it would do her a world of good, and it would save her from spending a night in the hospital wing.

"Fine." she groaned, before she tilted the vile to her lips and downed the drink quickly. As suspected, it was the very opposite of butterbeer. It was unpleasantly thick and bitter, leaving an awful taste in her mouth.

"That was n… nasty. R-really n-nasty." Lana blinked repeatedly, suddenly struggling to keep her eyes open. The words were heavy on her tongue and the world began to blur and spin, almost dangerously.

"Have you… have you drugged me?" Lana struggled up off the bed, shaking the tired feeling from her limbs. She refused to sleep. She wasn't going to be weak.

"Oh yes, very much so." Said Poppy, her voice filled with a dark mirth that Lana had never heard from the woman before.

"But… pepper up…"

"Oh no, dear, more a variation of the living death draught." Poppy laughed hysterically, throwing her head back in the most unnatural way.

Lana swayed dangerously, stumbling back and forth as she attempted to steady herself. Something was very wrong, with both her and Poppy. This behaviour wasn't normal, and unless Lana was much mistaken- it wasn't Poppy.

Poppy looked back down, the same manic smile still twisting her face. Except it was no longer Poppy's face, and it was no longer Poppy.

It was Nina Apollo.

"No." Lana could barely breath, battling to remain upright as she shuffled backwards- away from the scarlet haired woman.

"Long time no see, Dumbledore. Have you missed me? Poppy certainly didn't"

Poppy! Where was she, was she alive? Questions Lana couldn't ask assaulted her mind. There was only one thing that Lana could do. Something she tried to do 3 years ago. Something she would have succeeded in had Charlie not stopped her.

Well, Charlie wasn't here anymore.

Ignoring the drowsiness that over came her and using her last ounce of strength Lana raised her wand in the air and flicked it sharply. Ropes shot out of the bed behind Apollo and attacked her, dragging her back to the bed.

"I don't care anymore Dumbledore! I'VE WON. YOU'RE DYING, JUST LIKE YOU KILLED MY BROTHER." Apollo didn't even attempt to fight back against the thick restraints, her wand dropping to the floor and rolling away.

Lana staggered forwards, pressing the tip of her wand into her ex-professor's temple and glaring down at her as hard as she could. "You killed your brother the second you sided with Voldemort. You deserve to feel the pain he felt… the pain I feel. You murdered Amie." The realization just dawning on Lana. She was alone, in a room with the murderer of Amie Shepherd. Dear, good, beautiful, kind Amie. Her battered, broken body. Her majestic coffin and perfect drawings, displayed forever.

All because of Apollo.

"She'd be alive right now if you had been a good little girl." Apollo sneered, teal eyes shining darkly.

"YOU KILLED HER."

All the anger in the world, concentrated into one 15 year old girl.

Lana didn't have to speak. She didn't have to scream, or shout and cry. She just glared at the woman who murdered a defenceless 12 year old girl, and made her pay.

Apollo's tortured screams were the last thing Lana heard as the poison finally took her restraint and she collapsed backwards, her own wand falling on the floor.

…...

Screaming.

Nott grimaced as he heard screaming coming from the infirmary, staring for just a moment before his brain kicked into action. He pelted down the corridor, wand ready in his hand as their bags were dumped on the floor once more.

Thrusting the door open, Nott witnessed a true horror to behold.

He only knew a little of what had happened between Lana and their old Professor, Apollo, but never in a million years would he expect to see Lana practically torturing the woman.

Thankfully, it only lasted a minute and Lana soon fell backwards, crumpling to the ground as if she'd lost the will to live completely. Apollo remained bound to the bed, whimpering up at the ceiling.

"Dormio." Nott cast a sleeping charm on the professor, barely sparing her a glance as he struggled to get Lana onto a bed. Sure that they were both unconscious and secure, he turned on his heel and he ran. He ran very, very fast.

…...

That evening, there was a major congregation of people in the Hospital Wing. After retrieving the Professors, everything had been quickly sorted out. Apollo was treated for the injuries that Lana had given her and then escorted off the grounds to a life sentence in Azkaban, without trial.

Poppy had been quickly rescued from her locked office, and was found to be in good health- if a little shaken.

Lana, on the other hand, had not been quite as lucky.

"What's is it… what did she drink?" Tonks asked, in a voice that was hollow and yet full of pain.

"From what I can tell, she was given the Coma Draught." Snape offered quietly, standing beside McGonagall at the end of Lana's bed. "Depending on the strength that she was given, she could just be asleep… or she could be in a deep, everlasting coma."

"So, how do we know how strong it was?" McGonagall asked, her tone impatient.

"We don't, Minerva, all we can do is pray for the best." Albus sighed, arriving at the hospital wing with the same air of nobleness he had always possessed.

"Right now, the best would be for you to leave." Tonks spat at the headmaster, ocean eyes narrowed and deadly. Now was not the time for Dumbledore to start pretending he gave a damn about Lana. Not now, nor ever.

"Miss Tonks, please calm yourself."

"Calm myself?! We've just been told that our best friend is as good as dead!" Tonks's voice began to rise, tears filling her eyes. "What does anything matter anymore?!"

"He doesn't deserve to be in the same room as Lana. He's as bad as Apollo." Elena added darkly, her cappuccino eyes steadily trained on Dumbledore. Elena had to be feeling very confused. The murderer of her best friend had been captured and taken away that day, but at a price. The price of another best friend. "You have ruined your granddaughters life by putting those words in Charlie's mouth! If I had my way you'd be dead on the floor right now." Elena's straight brown hair flowed behind her neck, radiating power.

"And yet, I am not." Dumbledore sighed heavily. "I must go an see the Minister, I trust you can handle your students- Minerva, Severus."

The two professor's nodded curtly, and Dumbledore swept away, the rest of the party glaring at his back.

"I'm going to get Charlie. He deserves to be here no matter what he's done." Bill spoke up, shaking his head sadly.

The others nodded and Bill hurried out, tracing Dumbledore's footsteps.

McGonagall conjured some chairs for the remaining students, but they went unused. Tonks, Noah and Elena stood to Lana's right- staring quietly at her pale face as if they were far to used to seeing their friend like this. To the left of Lana's bed stood Amie, Ella and Nott. They too had an air of sad acceptance: This was bound to happen, sooner or later. Apollo had always been out there, waiting to get her revenge. The Gryffindors had always been quietly awaiting her arrival, wanting their own revenge for Amie's death.

Of course someone was bound to get hurt.

It took barely minutes for Bill to return, with Charlie close on his heel. The second that Charlie's deep brown eyes saw Lana they glistened with unshed tears. The estranged fifth year raced to his ex's bed, sinking to his knees beside her.

"What happened? Is she going to be okay?" Were Charlie's first words, as he took Lana's hand in his own and held it tightly.

"We'll go… leave you to talk." Ella said to Tonks before turning to the others, her voice firm but soft- a motherly tone so assertive that even the professors obeyed.

With all but Tonks, Noah and Nott gone- Charlie finally rose from the floor and into a chair. "Please, please tell me what's happened?"

Though Tonks glared ferociously at the redhead, she sighed and took a seat opposite him. "Apollo."

Charlie gulped.

"She was disguised as Madam Pompfrey. She pretended to give Lana a sleeping drought of some kind, we believe, and then revealed herself." Noah explained quietly.

"Lana managed to stay awake for a little while. She fought back… she restrained Apollo and then… and then she got her own revenge." Nott said darkly, shaking his blonde haired head. He looked bewildered by Lana's Slytherin actions, but also completely accepting.

"I see." Came Charlie's hollow voice as he took the information in. "So when will she wake? She won't want me here…"

There was a moment of silence as the Gryffindors and Slytherin shared an anxious look.

"We don't know, Charlie, she took the coma drought. She may not ever wake."

"But listen to me, Charles Ray Weasley, she _will _wake up and when she does you'd better be there. Do you hear me? If you're not, it'll be me getting my revenge." Tonks snapped, her mousy brown hair flaming orange.

Charlie said nothing, but wrapped another hand around Lana's and held it close.

"What happens now?" Nott asked, sighed heavily and wiping his face with his hands.

"We wait, like always. We wait for Lana to come back, because she always does- doesn't she? She goes away and then comes back, stronger than ever." Tonks's voice was thick with tears. "She has to."

"She will, Dora. And we'll wait for her." Noah soothed his girlfriend, but there was something dull in his dark eyes that they all shared. A lack of hope.

…...

December came and days passed as if they were never there. Thankfully, the school holidays began quickly meaning that the Gryffindors and solitary Slytherin no longer had to listen to the gossiping school.

Tonks dutifully wrote to her parents, informing them that she would be staying at school over Christmas to be with Lana. The response was not a pleased one, not that Dora cared. Her mother could wait until Easter to see her. If she left over Christmas, Tonks was very scared that there would be no Lana to come back to.

The metamorphmagus spent as much time in the hospital wing as humanely possible, as did Noah and Elena. Nott, Amie, Bill and Ella visited regularly- though Bill and Ella had their NEWT school wok to contend with.

It was all so messed up. The waiting game wasn't fun. Not for anyone.

But certainly, the worst effected was Charlie. He had gone into a state of shock. He barely ate, spoke, slept. He just sat beside Lana, staring at her white face as if she were already dead.

Tonks couldn't imagine how he felt. She had, admittedly, somewhat despised him since he left Lana. Not because she didn't like him or she didn't want to be friends with him, but because she hated what it had done to Lana. No matter what the reason.

But Charlie knew what he'd done, and why he'd done it. He took it upon himself to keep his distance and it hadn't done him any good. And now that Lana was like this, he couldn't know if he'd ever be able to apologize to her. He might not ever get to tell her that he loved her or hold her hand and have her hold his back.

It was so sad.

With less than a week till Christmas day, and no sign of improvement in Lana's coma, the Gryffindors began to lose heart. Fast.

…...

For what felt like the thousandth time that night, Charlie Weasley snapped his eyes open to stop himself from drifting off into a bliss sleep. It was late-ish, nearly midnight and Madam Pompfrey had long since left the hospital wing for her own bed, leaving Charlie alone with the sleeping Lana.

Tonks had passed out in the common room hours before, after sitting with Lana for the whole previous night. Noah was busy doing work and Charlie didn't know about anyone else. No-one else had the patience to sit in the infirmary, in complete silence, thinking about everything their brain could offer until they too passed out.

Charlie buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes tiredly. How much longer could he do this? Sit with her and pretend that when she woke up, she wouldn't hate him.

If she woke up…

Nonetheless, Charlie took Lana's limp hand in his own and squeezed it aimlessly.

"You know, I knew from the moment I met you that I loved you." Charlie began talking to himself, staring deep at the closed lids of the forest eyes he loved so much. "You were this incredible girl- still are, I suppose." Charlie laughed shortly, shaking his head. "Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore." Charlie spoke slowly, as if tasting the words. "Even if you hate me, and you don't want to see me again and we can never be together… I am never going to stop fighting for you. Isn't that ironic?" Charlie laughed again, "I'd rather die before I let anything hurt you. You can tell that to your warriors wand."

Charlie let go of Lana's hand and smiled weakly. "I'll see you around, Lana."


	12. Who Could be Sad at Christmas?

Chapter 12 - Who Could Be Sad at Christmas?

Feet? Check.

Fingers? Check.

Pulse? Check.

No, she was definitely alive.

Try as she might, Lana couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. She wasn't sure where she was, but she could take a fair guess. The hospital wing. Likewise, she wasn't sure how long it had been since she last opened her eyes. All together, she wasn't sure about anything in particular other than that she was alive. Definitely alive. Though she had yet to determine whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

She'd been drifting in and out of a troubled state of dreaming for what felt like days, before she was able to get a proper grip on reality. She felt awful and groggy, like she'd had the longest sleep in existence. She wanted a drink and a shower and then to run a few miles just to stretch her unused limbs.

But first she would have to open her eyes.

As her eyes flicked open, Lana found her prediction to be correct. She was in the infirmary, with Tonks, Noah, Bill and a few teachers gathered around her beside. Much to Lana's surprise, that included Snape. Though, much to her disgust, it also included her grandfather.

"It's about time, you absolute moron." Tonks broke the silence, tears falling down her cheeks as she punched Lana's arm relentlessly. "If you _ever _do that to us again, I'll kill you." She added, her voice breaking into a sob.

"I'm sorry." Lana could barely manage a whisper, her own eyes filling with tears. Lana hated seeing Tonks upset. She was normally so bubbly and happy.

"Don't worry about it Lana. We'll see you later, alright?"

Lana nodded gratefully at Noah as he lead the crying Nymphadora out of the hospital wing. Nott followed them with an awkward smile to Lana.

"When is it?" Was Lana's first question, directed to Bill who remained by her bed.

"December 23rd. Well, nearly 24th. It's been a long few weeks Lana."

"I.. I mean, how is everyone?" Lana asked, meeting Bill's solemn gaze.

"He's… alive." Lana flinched. _She _was merely alive. Charlie was meant to be living. "Barely left your side… He's not been-"

"Well, as lovely as this is Mr Weasley, don't you think you should go and pack. You depart first thing in the morning." Dumbledore cut in briskly, moving to the end of Lana's bed and earning himself several glares.

"Not at all, Professor." Bill replied through gritted teeth.

"William." Lana was astounded by how much McGonagall sounded like Mrs Weasley. "The headmaster is right. Besides, we need to talk to Lana."

Bill may have been reluctant, but he respected McGonagall's wishes and forced himself to leave. Much to Lana's surprise, he first leant forwards and planted a brotherly kiss on her forehead. "We're proud of you." He told her quietly, before leaving.

Lana stared after him, both confused and pleased, until Dumbledore finally spoke and regained her attention.

"We must talk about what happened to you, Lana."

"I got drugged. Makes a change, doesn't it?" Lana rolled her eyes, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Behave, Lana. This is a serious matter. Do you remember what you did to Ms Apollo?"

Lana blinked. Of course she did. She remembered being angry. She remembered seeing Amie's battered face at the forefront of her mind. She remembered Apollo's screams.

"Yes. I tort… I t-"

"You _tortured _her, Lana."

Silence rang out in the common room as Lana took a deep, steadying breath.

"She _manipulated _me. She kidnapped an innocent 12 year old girl and tortured her. She tried to kill me and made me doubt my friends and push them away and then SHE SENT AMIE'S BODY TO THE MINISTRY. DEAD." Lana pushed her duvet off her legs and scrambled to get up. "So yes, I tortured her." She finished bitterly.

"You broke nearly every bone in her body. She could have died."

"SO WHAT? I'm not above killing, Dumbledore! I've done it before, to better people than her! If I have to die, I'm taking as many bastards down with me as I can! Care to volunteer?"

"Lana!"

"SO REPORT ME. I will NOT listen to you scold me. Your opinion means nothing to me. Either leave me alone or send me to Azkaban, because I don't care. I am DONE caring."

Dumbledore's piercing blue gaze became soft as he looked at Lana for a long moment. "In that case, I strong suggest you take Mr Weasley back. Die happy, and whatnot." Dumbledore pressed his lips into a tight, polite smile and then swept away leaving them in a state of momentary shock.

A few seconds passed before Lana continued to get ready to leave. She scraped her hair back into a tight bun and grabbed her clothes from the cabinet beside her bed.

"Lana! What are you doing?" Poppy asked, aghast at seeing her patient attempting to stand up and then falling back down.

"It's the holidays, isn't it? I'm going home."

"Lana!"

Lana ignored both Poppy and McGonagall as she staggered to the bathroom with all the grace of a drunk elephant.

"Dumbledore. Stop playing the whiny teenage girl and listen, because these people actually care for you. Can't imagine how."

Lana turned and folded her arms in mock anger, barely restraining a grin. "You think you'd have softened over my absence Professor Snape." She retorted primly.

Snape didn't look particularly amused, which made Lana laugh out loud.

"Whilst I don't quite agree with some of Miss Tonks's accusations, I must reiterate that if you ever do that again I'll have to kill you." McGonagall told her, striding over to Lana. The head of Gryffindor then did the unexpected and wrapped her arms around Lana in a quick hug. Pulling away, McGonagall placed her hands on Lana's shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "You are the soul of this school, Lana Dumbledore, don't you dare die on it."

…...

The next morning, whilst the others took the Floo network home to spend Christmas with their families, Lana was walked down to Hogsmeade by McGonagall. When they arrived at the Gates of the School, Abe was there to meet them. The two Dumbledore's then made their way back to the little pub at the edge of the village. Lana didn't like being guarded. She could easily have made the 15 minute walk by herself but no, she was too frail and unhealthy to go anywhere alone.

It was unfair and infuriating, but Lana kept quiet. What was the point in protesting.

When she got back to the Hogs Head, Lana went straight to bed. She hadn't slept the night before, haunted by memories of Apollo and Amie. The only positive thing to come from the ordeal was Apollo's imprisonment.

With both Lewis and Apollo out of her way, the only thing left hanging over Lana's head was the warriors wand and even that would be worth it if only she had Charlie.

Lana didn't get out of bed till after six o'clock that evening. She found Abe sat in the living room, listening to the wireless. It was Christmas eve so the host of the particular program sounded a little bit too cheery for Lana's liking, inputting regular intervals of jolly Christmas music.

"You okay?" Came Abe's gruff voice after a few minutes of listening to the crackly radio programme. "McGonagall gave me some potions, if you need them."

Lana stared into the fire, ignoring her Uncle soundly. She saw him look away in the corner of her eye and felt mildly guilty. Then again, she doubted Abe felt this was the most tranquil situation he'd ever experienced.

They fell back into silence, now listening to the new hit from Cestelina Warbeck. It was loud and sad, about a break-up. Perfect! Just what Lana needed! Now, on the night that hers and Charlie's relationship became official just a year before, she was listening to a song about a break-up.

A number of emotions assaulted her mind, primarily anger and hurt. With a flick of her hand, there was a bang and sparks flew from the wireless- rendering it silent. Standing, Lana pushed hair from her face and took a few calming breaths.

She missed them all so much. All the Weasleys. Bill's comforting words yesterday had reminded her just how much she loved them. They were her family as much as they were Charlie's.

"I have to go out. I might be a while." Lana finally said, turning to Abe guiltily.

"Okay." Lana was partly shocked. Abe never ceased to treat her like an adult. Anyone else would have locked her up and stopped her from ever getting into trouble again. "Just… don't get killed?"

Lana smiled wryly. "Occupational hazard of being me." She told him.

…...

The burrow looked the same as it had always done, even covered in a heavy layering of crisp white snow. The very sight of it brought tears to Lana's eyes, and it wasn't just the cold. She missed it so much, but at the same time looking at it was like a clamp tightening on her heart.

They'd all be inside, enjoying their Christmas eve like the happy family they were. Whilst she stood outside their gate, staring at the disproportionate house and crying at the many memories she had of it.

It took all the courage Lana had to open the gate, her hand shaking with silent sobs. The snow continued to fall slowly as Lana forced herself down the garden path and approached the door.

A cold hand reached up to press the doorbell and Lana heard movement within the house. A part of her urged herself to run. Another made her stay and see who would answer the door.

A few more seconds passed before the wreath adorned door swung open, revealing the happy-pink face of Molly Weasley. The great smile on the Weasley matriarch's face faltered into the smallest smile Lana had ever seen, before she pulled Lana into her arms.

It was a wonderful, motherly hug. Mrs Weasley smelt like cinnamon and apples. Like Christmas. Lana pulled herself closer to the mother-like figure and cried into her shoulder, listening to the quiet, calming words being whispered into her ear.

"Molly, Who is it?" Arthur Weasley appeared in the hall, realization dawning on his face as he spotted Lana. "Ah, Lana." Mr Weasley shut the door to the living room behind him and hurried over to them.

Lana hugged him also, wiping her puffy red eyes free of tears.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to spoil your evening, I just missed you." Lana smiled weakly, pulling her cardigan close around her for comfort. Mrs Weasley took her hands in her own and smiled comfortingly.

"You could never ruin anything Lana Dumbledore. Now, you're going to come in and eat a decent meal. Look at the size of you! Oh you poor dear, Bill told us everything. We're so glad your safe now."

Lana was pulled in for another hug as the door opened once more and there were three cries of 'Lana!' from Ginny, Fred and George.

Lana grinned through her tears and kneeled down to wrap the three children in a hug.

"Why are you crying?" Asked Ginny, wrapping her small hand around Lana's pony tail.

"Because I'm happy to see you. Happy tears." Lana told her, tapping the younger girl's nose softly. It was the truth, sort of, but not really.

Ginny didn't need to know the real truth.

"Come and see the Christmas tree!" Lana laughed and stood, stretching her back. Charlie would be in that room, sat in his usual spot. The spot where she used to sit with him, her head on his shoulder or leg. Still, it was too late to turn back now.

Lana allowed herself to be dragged through to the living room, a twin for either hand. The second she got through the door, Bill had hugged her. "Good to see you." He told her quietly before disappearing.

Charlie was sat by the window, which made a change. He looked somewhat pained as they made the briefest of eye contact. Then he looked away and Lana's heart broke all over again.

It was only Ginny, tugging on Lana's sleeve, that made her look away from the red-haired boy she loved so much. Lana hurried over to the tree and smiled brightly, cooing at the decorations that the Weasley Children had so lovingly placed. The whole house just screamed 'Christmas.' Everything was connected to Christmas. It was heart-warming and beautiful, though at the same time utterly depressing.

After a while, Lana was dragged into the kitchen to eat by Mrs Weasley. Ginny accompanied her, sitting opposite and grinning madly. The youngest Weasley had grown considerably since they'd last met.

As Lana attempted to consume the large bowl of fish soup that Mrs Weasley had put out for her, she wondered vaguely if Ginny would remember her. After all, she'd been 7 when her parents died and she could barely remember them. Ginny was 6 now. If Lana died, would Ginny remember her at all?

Would Ron? Fred and George would. The twins were 8 years old. They had to be aware of changing time by now. Percy would probably forget her in a blink: he'd never liked her anyway.

Lana couldn't bare to think about Charlie or Bill. She loved them both, in different ways of course. Bill was like her brother. Charlie was… her world.

"You look sad." Ginny stated, watching Lana through large doe eyes. How many boys would fall for them when Ginny got to her age? Lana smiled weakly.

"Sad? Who could be sad on Christmas!" Lana laughed, waving her spoon to emphasize her point.

Ginny giggled, resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin in her hands. "Charlie's sad but he won't say why."

"Sad? Who could be sad at Christmas!"

Lana froze as Charlie entered the room, picking his sister up and tickling her mercilessly. Ginny squealed and flailed in his arms until he finally stood her up on the table.

"I think Bill has an early present for you, Gin. He's upstairs." Charlie grinned mischievously, his chocolate eyes twinkling. He lowered Ginny onto the floor and in a flash, she darted from the room.

Silence ensued.

Lana couldn't eat anymore. She placed her spoon down and sat remarkably still, staring at the battered wood of the kitchen table.

"I thought you were never going to wake up again. I thought that was going to be your life from now on." Charlie began, leaning his back against the kitchen units and watching Lana. She hated that he could look at her and not feel the pain she felt when she looked at him.

"I sat next to you… and you looked so peaceful. So perfect, just sleeping." Charlie coughed. "And I thought, maybe it's good that she'll never wake up. Maybe she'll be better off sleeping. Hey, at least she's not dead." He laughed hollowly. "But then I heard your voice. You once told Tonks that you're not scared of dying, you're scared of not living. I heard you telling me that, and then I realized how bloody thick I am."

Charlie coughed again, wringing his hands together nervously.

"When I think about you dying, Lana, my head hurts. Because I can't imagine a world without you in it. I am _so _sorry for putting you through this."

Lana stared at Charlie Weasley. His deep brown eyes, shining with tears. His hair, scarlet in the darkness. His freckled nose and cheeks. His lips, that fit hers so perfectly. His strong arms that had cradled her so many times.

He was home, to her. Everything he was, she wanted to be. Everything he gave to her, she could never get alone. Love. Friendship. Family.

She could have him back on the anniversary of their first official date. She could stand up right now and kiss him. She could be selfish and make him stay with her until the day she died. She could hold the heart of Charlie Weasley and kill him, along with her.

"No. I'm sorry." Lana stood and pulled her cardigan close around her, pushing her chair neatly to the table with her knee. "I can't do this to you. I'm going home."

"This is your home, Lana."

"Stop it." Lana point-blank refused to cry. She wouldn't. "I'm not doing this. This is for the best Charlie. You deserve a life. You deserve to meet a nice girl, get married, have children- the whole life thing. Not me."

"I don't want that!" Charlie insisted as Lana entered the hall and he hurried after her. "I only ever wanted that with you, from the moment we met! And if I can't marry _you_-" Charlie wrapped a hand around Lana's wrist and pulled her towards him easily. "-and have a family with _you_, and grow old with _you_… then I just want to be with you."

Lana's barricades collapsed and the tears began to trail down her cheeks. "Why are you making this so difficult. Go back inside. Enjoy Christmas with your family. Forget about me."

Lana pulled her wrist from Charlie's loose grip and swept out the burrow, the freezing night air attacking her skin instantly.

"Why do you think it's so easy?" Charlie asked, following her into the garden. He was barefoot and not even wearing a jumper, but he was undeterred. "I could _never _forget you and I don't intend to. You are my life."

"Shut up! Just shut up! You are the one that lost faith! You're the one that buckled and went to Dumbledore! You're the one who ended it and you got what you wanted! So stop it!"

"Lana, I'm sorry. How can I make you believe that I never wanted this?"

Lana shook her head, her whole body shaking with silent sobs. "You can't."

It was then Charlie's turn to shake his head. He smiled softly, wiping his eyes free of tears. "Yes, I can. Look me in the eyes, Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore."

Lana didn't want to. She wanted to run far, far away and never have to hear the name Charlie Weasley ever again.

But the way he said her name left her with no choice and Lana reluctantly lifted her forest green eyes up to Charlie's chocolate orbs.

Suddenly, she wasn't staring into Charlie's eyes anymore. She wasn't stood in the snowy garden of the burrow, freezing and shivering. She was inside her own mind, being sent memories that weren't her own. Memories of Charlie's.

"_Hello, I'm Lana." … "How would you feel about spending Christmas at the burrow?" … "Do you reckon the ultimate sacrifice is death?"-"Yeah, I do"-"Well then, all you have to do is never love anyone and you won't ever die"-"Pha! Bit to late for that don't you think?"-"Yeah, I do" … "Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore, I will always be scared of you." … "CHARLIE!"-"Nice to see you too kid," … "Oh Charlie, I got blood all over you."-"It's fine- it's an old shirt anyway." … "It's beautiful."-"Yeah, it is."-It's cold out here, we should go inside."-"No, it's perfect." … __"Well, maybe I'll say yes to the next one!"-"Yeah, maybe you should!"-"Fine! I will." - "No, don't."-"Why?"-"BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE ME!" … "I don't want to go back to just being friends with you Lana. I want to be the most important person in your life, because that's what you are to me. I don't want to be the one spending all the time with you and then waving you off to dates with idiots who don't appreciate you like I do." … 'this is Lana Dumbledore, she's incredible and beautiful and talented and clever and she's my girlfriend." - "And then I'd say, 'I'm so lucky to have Charlie because he's talented and clever and handsome and just incredible in general, he's passionate and loving and is the quidditch captain; Gryffindor hunk. And he's all mine." … "Charlie, I love you." - "I love you too, Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore."_

It was like each memory had been carefully selected to make Lana's heart ache, make her mind go numb and her head spin.

"I was so scared of losing you, that I lost you. I won't ever make that mistake again." The sincerity in Charlie's voice was heart-wrenching and Lana was torn.

"What's going to happen Charlie? What's going to happen when I die?" The question came in the form of a whisper, barely audible over the howling winds and snow.

"I'll miss you like crazy… and I won't fear death. When my time comes I'll accept it and know that I'll see you again. Besides, you're not dead yet. We could have years yet. We _could _get married and have kids and grow old together."

"You'd put up with me for that long?" Lana asked, tears trailing down her pallid face. The snow had settled in her long, dark hair and the light from the burrow made it sparkle like a thousand tiny diamonds were nestled in her locks.

As if to answer her question, Charlie got down on one knee- even in the snow- and took Lana's hand in his.

"Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore. Will you marry me?"

Lana didn't answer either. She joined him on the snowy floor and smiled at him, the most delicate smile in all the world. The past two months were just a distant memory as the distance between the two Gryffindors shortened before finally their lips pressed together in a brief, meaningful kiss.

"Happy Anniversary, you wonderful bastard."

"I love you, Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore." Charlie grinned in reply, a twinkle in his chocolate eyes. Merlin, words couldn't describe how much she'd missed that twinkle.

Lana half laughed, half sobbed. All she could feel was pure, ecstatic joy. Everything was how it should be. They were together again with no threat of Lewis or Apollo or anything to hurt them. They could be happy and safe for the foreseeable future and nothing would harm them or their friends.

It was perfect. Completely perfect.

"And I love you, Charles Ray Weasley." Lana replied, a final tear trailing down her cheek. Her grin only widened as Charlie laughed the most delightful laugh. How she'd missed that laugh. It used to brighten up her days and now it would again. She couldn't help but laugh along with him. How silly must they look? Two love struck teenagers sat out in the snow, laughing to themselves.

But how could they not laugh? Everything was brilliant.

Among the howling winds and heavy snow, the two teenagers still heard the loud, sharp crack in the night. They both turned and through the snow they saw a girl with white, white skin and mousy brown hair; and eyes so devoid of joy that they physically hurt to look at.

Lana and Charlie rose from the snowy floor simultaneously, staring in silent horror at their best friend. It was painfully obvious that she'd been crying, but now her tears were gone. She just looked at them pair, without really seeing; her body trembling with the obvious effort to hold back sobs.

Despite all the shaking and crying, Nymphadora Tonks's voice was admirably steady and utterly heartbreaking as she spoke her first words to the couple.

"Noah's dead."

And just like that, the world that the three gryffindors had found themselves in collapsed- as did Tonks.

The metamorphmagus sank down onto the floor and finally let her tears fall once more. The sound of her sobs echoed in the night air, racked with grief. It was unbearable to hear. Lana could do nothing but stare.

No. This couldn't be happening. Not at all. How? No. He couldn't be dead. Noah Diggory could not be dead. Tonks was mistaken. She had to be.

But then Lana heard Charlie sob beside her and her momentary state of shock dissipated. Tears stung her eyes and she squeezed them tight shut, attempting to block out the sound of her best friend and boyfriends cries.

Noah Diggory was NOT dead. He couldn't be. He was going to do his OWL's and his NEWT's and get all outstandings. He was going to become a lawyer and retire at 25. He was going to marry Tonks and become a brilliant dad. He was going to watch over Cedric and his Dad and grow old as hell before finally taking up a job as a teacher or something else equally as dull but he'd never complain because he'd always have Tonks for the excitement he never bothered looking for himself.

So he simply couldn't be dead.

"Someone attacked their house. Noah made Amos and Cedric leave and fought." Tonks paused, grasping some snowy grass with her small hands. She took a deep, steadying breath in vain as another sob overcame her. "He lost."

"Tonks... no. No. This can't be tr-"

"I told him I wanted to break up." Tonks cut off Lana, her voice a near shout. She gave off the air of being mad with grief, and Lana could sympathize completely. That's how Elena had been when Amie died. How she'd been when Charlie left her. It was the utmost pain, like a vice around her heart. "He died thinking I didn't love him. I left him the week before he died."

The next sob was the worst.

Lana could even describe it. She wanted it to stop. How had everything gone so wrong, so quickly? Who would do this? Why would they do it? Why kill an innocent young man

Lana looked to Charlie who had managed to regain some composure. "Carry her inside." She instructed softly.

"Lana, no. Whatever you're about to do, stop it. We'll get through this."

"Charlie, relax, I'm coming with you. I'm just not strong enough to carry her." Lana lied, tears cascading down her cheeks. For the first time in the five years that Lana had known Charlie, she knew he could tell she was lying.

Yet, Charlie said nothing. He pulled Tonks up and half carried her up to the burrow with Lana following close behind. When they reached the porch, Lana held the door open for them to enter with ease. The burrow looked so inviting and warm, decorated for Christmas with the Weasley Children safely tucked up inside- happy and free of worry. Not knowing that their brother's world had been turned upside down that snowy night due to the loss of his best friend.

Lana lingered by the door, staring inside the burrow for what would likely be the last time. She committed every detail for memory as Charlie helped Tonks onto the stairs and then turned around, just in time to see the door shutting on Lana.

* * *

Lana dropped her wand to the floor. She wouldn't need it. She used her wandless magic to place a locking charm on the burrow, preventing anyone from getting in or out until her Grandfather arrived to take it off. Barely a second passed before Charlie appeared at the kitchen window, hammering on it and screaming.

"Lana! Let me out! Lana, Come inside!"

Lana approached the window, forcing a smile onto her pallid face. She reached a hand up to the window and watched her Charlie with a childlike curiosity.

"Remember, Charlie Weasley, Remember how much I love you. I'm so very sorry, my Charlie."

Lana couldn't have said anything in the world to make him feel better, so instead she just turned her back to the burrow and strode back into the garden of the burrow. Finally, she allowed herself to tremble with fear.

She had't been lying when she said she wasn't scared of dying. She was scared of not living. But she had lived. She'd had 7 wonderful years with her parents and 5 wonderful years with Charlie and now, it was her time. Making up with Charlie had been the final Rune on her blasted wand. It was time for her to die.

The sky seemed darker.

The air seemed colder.

The love for Charlie and the Weasleys seemed stronger.

Lana took a deep steadying breath and held her hands up to show she was unarmed.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." She called.

A moment passed before there was a rustling and a creak and then the gate to the burrow swung open.

Lana moved one step closer to the figure in the shadows.


	13. Epilogue

No-one can say that the death of Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore wasn't inevitable. They can't declare it an incident or an unfortunate event. They can't say it could have been prevented or it was Lana's own foolishness that got her killed.

Because they would be lying.

Still, as the mourners took their seats in the church it was hard not to think about those other possible outcomes. What if she'd gone inside the burrow and hidden until help came? What if she'd told someone that she knew the attacker was lurking in the shadows? What if she'd lived for years more?

It is entirely probable that only two people in the church knew exactly what happened that night. It is equally as probable that those two people were the only ones who truly knew that Lana's death was unpreventable. It was a fixed point in time that they'd been leading up to for 5 long years.

Charlie Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks sat side by side on the front row in the little church where Lana's funeral was taking place. They weren't touching and hadn't said a word to each other all morning. Yet, the closeness was somewhat of a comfort. Both had lost their true loves that day. Both were surrounded by loving family and friends, but so very alone.

"Lana was a kind soul. She loved and trusted all, no matter what their blood or house."

Charlie snorted. Lana was kind, yes. But she was very biased to Gryffindor for most of her life and truly despised most Slytherins. She was brutal to anyone who got in her way and she held no shame in half killing opposition in quidditch matches.

There priest frowned at Charlie before continuing tentatively.

"She was an object of fascination to the whole wizarding world, but to those that knew her she was a normal, wonderful human being."

Charlie snorted again. Normal? Far from. Lana was as fascinating to him as she was to the rest of the world. She was incredible and captivating and completely remarkable, but he knew her better than anyone. He remembered the way her hair smelt like peaches and cream. They way her nose used to turn up at stews and pies because she preferred small, light meals. He remembered the way French rolled so beautifully off her tongue but she hated it, preferring Spanish. He remembered her eyes and how looking into them was like wondering through a dense forest. He remembered her lips and how they used to curve in the slightest of smiles or the biggest of grins. Her lips would go blue when she was cold and they were always the palest of pinks, but as she'd gotten older and more ill- they'd often turned as pale as her face.

"Charlie, are you alright son?" Mr Weasley asked. He sat behind Charlie, clasping a hand on his shoulder.

"Has he ever met her? Does he know anything about her or is he going of whatever bullshit Dumbledore fed him?"

"Charlie."

"No. Charlie's right. All this is meaningless. Empty words." Tonks agreed solemnly, shaking her head. The metamorphmagus stood with intent and swept up onto the stage, pressing her lips into a tight forced smile.

"Sorry, dude, but your services are no longer required."

"B-but this is a religious service!" The baffled man objected, though Tonks continued to push him down the few steps.

"Lana wasn't religious. Do you think she prayed in her final moments? No, she laughed. But of course you wouldn't know that because you. Didn't. Know. Her."Charlie announced, the words bitter on his tongue. "Do you want to know the truth? Do you want to know what happened that night? Honestly? Lana. Gave up. She could have kept running. She could have hid or run or fought back, but she didn't. She was born to protect us and she did. In her final moments, as a nobody who wanted to kill a somebody approached my home, Lana used every single scrap of magic she ever possessed to protect us. She laughed in the face of danger and died, happy in knowing we were safe. And I let her."

"None of you will ever understand just how brilliant Lana Elizabeth Dumbledore was and I can never forget. So, why don't you all go home. Go home to your dull little lives and stop pretending to mourn a girl you never knew."

... and that's exactly what everyone did.

* * *

Years later, when Charlie sat beside the corpse of Nymphadora Tonks after the Battle Of Hogwarts, he took her limp hand in his and smiled through his tears. Though the seasons had come and gone then come once more, Charlie could still remember their own days at the school as if it were yesterday. How brilliant they had been until Noah and Lana had died, and how awful they had been for the remainder of their education. Too many ghosts walked around the corridors of the school; though not all were visible to anyone but him.

Amie... Noah... Lana... How many others, all dead?

"Just me now, Nymph." Charlie murmured to the young woman. She looked so peaceful in death. Her pink hair and sparkling blue eyes and easy smile. So much like the girl he'd met on the train in first year. "I'm the only one left. No Noah, no Lana and now no you."

"Charlie? I have to tell you something."

Charlie looked up to see Harry Potter standing beside him, his baby sister on his arm. Not such a baby any more. She had been when Lana had met her. Just 2 years old. What would Lana say to her if she was here? Surely they'd be best friends, as they always were. Lana loved the Weasleys as if they were her own family and in the end, it wasn't just Charlie she died for. It was the burrow and all its contents; including the Weasleys.

"What?" Charlie asked, no effort to sound curious. He didn't care. He truly didn't care.

"In the forest, I died. I actually died and I went to this place... Dumbledore was there and he asked me to give you a message from... Lana?"

Charlie stared at the boy who lived.

"And Lana says- 'She's glad she got to live, especially with you.' ... I don't know if that means anything to you?" Harry frowned. Apparently, it didn't mean anything to him.

"Lana wasn't scared of dying. She was scared of not living." Charlie grinned. "and d'you what, I feel exactly the same."


	14. AN

_And so it is_  
_Just like you said it would be_  
_Life goes easy on me_  
_Most of the time_

_And so it is_  
_The shorter story_  
_No love, no glory_  
_No hero in her sky_

_I can't take my eyes off you_

_And so it is_  
_Just like you said it should be_  
_We'll both forget the breeze_  
_Most of the time_

_And so it is _  
_The colder water_  
_The blower's daughter_  
_The pupil in denial_

_I can't take my eyes off you_

_Did I say that I loathe you?_  
_Did I say, you better want to leave it all behind?_

_I can't take my mind off you_  
_'Til I find somebody new..._

**_Damien Rice - The Blowers Daughter_**

* * *

**__**Well it's over. Isn't that odd. Big thanks to Green Lily 96, formerly Kieragracex, for being my beta all this time and helping me with all this and thanks for reading.

Your writer,

Hannah x

P.S - Sorry for the awful ending :)


End file.
